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Newspaper
Lititz Record
Location
Lititz, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Jan 10, 1879
Page
5
A humorous free verse spoof recounts a chaotic Christmas night with exhausted parents, sick children, and a comic doctor arrival. The tale parodies holiday scenes with exaggerated fevers, misbehaving meals, and a perilous Ipecac rescue, ending in a brisk medical intervention.
A rider shouted good night to Jones as he rode away in a gig after a brief disturbance. Aza and Ant Jalap departed, though Jalap was pricked by a thistle during the escape. The dovlor declared the others would be well tomorrow as night fell.
In a domestic note the writer urges that polite daily acts build happiness at home. Contrasting harsh or neglectful treatment with small gestures like a morning greeting and a kind word, the piece stresses gentleness toward spouses children and servants. It calls for cultivating home politeness to keep family warmth bright.
A Peoria Transcript correspondent details Mir J. Chellew of Glasford Peoria county proposing a machine to generate heat by mechanical means. He describes heat as molecular motion and outlines a two-chamber device with a wooden box, boiler plate side box, and a “model plate” intended to regulate heat.
A pneumatic or primitive heater prototype is described as portable and adjustable to provide varying degrees of heat up to 580 degrees after future improvements. It can be moved between rooms, used for cooking or heating, and possibly to generate steam for engines with minimal running cost beyond wear on machinery.
The note recalls a European invention promising paper from the wild fig tree as a new material. It also mentions a Brazilian government privilege granted to a gentleman for this manufacture. The text touches on early petroleum history, noting petroleum's 1857 New York illumination introduction as carbon oil and gives early production figures from Tarentum.
A garbled OCR excerpt shows snippets of jokes and dialogue about language usage class questions, marriage, and parsing the word dollar. It includes lines about a judge, a fat man requesting seats, a romance extract, witty banter, and a teacher asking to parse trade dollars.
A historical notice touts Jaynes Fixpectorant as an effective remedy for coughs and colds. It claims the medicine strengthens the general health, improves pulmonary and bronchial organs, and offers lasting relief from persistent illness.
The Crock and Glass Journal reports on iridescent glass found in Pompeii, Roman tombs, and Cyprite cities. French chemists recently produced artificial iridescence by heating glass in moist air with hydrochloric acid, noting superficial, nonstructural coloration. Bohemian glass leads production for European markets as American interest grows.
A Philadelphia based inquiry promotes a rejuvenating compound Oxigen marketed by Drs Starker and Palen. Testimonials from patients including a sister in New Orleans praise rapid improvements in nervous debility and muscular prostration. The doctors offer a 200 page brochure and free sample text on the cure’s philosophy and case histories.
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