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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Lititz Record
Location
Lititz, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Aug 19, 1881
Page
4
A fragmentary narrative blends a comic mining visit with a Boston lady and a speaking tube prank. It shifts to a New Orleans shoe seller hawking Prussian leder footwear at high prices, then to Mount Cenis Tunnel ventilation plans amid concerns over air quality for rail traffic.
The article discusses potato cultivation on dry soil, stressing moisture for tuber development and the impact of hoeing and fertilizer timing. It also covers cow salt intake, costs of crop cultivation from Kansas State data, a new grain pest in corn and wheat, rye pasture benefits, and notes on maturing livestock and a newly described grass-eating pest Nephosudes violas appearing in New York pastures.
In Battery Street a man used a telephone gag to impersonate Bob Perkins asking Mrs. Perkins to meet. She nearly cried, realizing it was a joke. Perkins plans to organize a secret society to assassinate Morrison and Belis at an early date.
A miscellany of light vignettes and quotes from a Western Watchman page includes praise for St Jacob's Oil by Mr Jus Gramer of Emerson Piano Company, interlaced with humorous exchanges about ducks, wardrobes, schoolchildren, and temperance. The piece threads advertisements with sketches of everyday life, offering a snapshot of social humor and consumer heft.
Two ladies were splashed by water during a playful dispute about surf-bathing. The moment deflated tensions until two noble knights intervened and escorted the women beyond the rolling breakers to calm the scene.
Fragmented chatter mixes medical quackery with odd anecdotes and humorous asides. A sarcastic voice railes against extravagant doctors and promotes simple remedies while weaving snippets about guests, tourists, and Irish humor. The piece reads like a late 19th century digressive column.
Vegetine advocate Miss N Keefe of 1120 Carpenter St testifies that years of pimples and blood disease ailments improved after using Vegetine. She reports health improved after three bottles and that her mood is entirely cured.
Mrs W G Perle from Boston Massachusetts writes in Ottawa that Vegetine is an invaluable medicine for stomach disorders and blood impurities. She notes recommending it to friends with gratifying results and cites company Perley and Pattee, a leading lumber firm, as responsible.
A humorous fragment shows a sleepy boy defying his mother with the line Not tonight Some other night. The scene then shifts to a doctor visit and a mock medical ad copy between quips about kidney health and a funeral of sorts.
A collage of quack health claims for Kidney-Wort and Lydia E Pinkham remedies, mixed with snatches of social chatter about bachelors, fashion terms like Timburger calico, and toying banter from barbers and poets. Product pitches mingle with light humor and unrelated gossip.
A string of archaic wordplay and dubious quotations features puns on names and roles, transatlantic mockery, and a tangent about Pilgrims and aborigines. The piece meanders through jokes about lawyers wives, taxation, baseball, and geologists debating Moses with no clear throughline.
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