10 Feb 1904
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 15 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Lexington Gazette
Location
Lexington, Virginia, United States of America
Date
Feb 10, 1904
Page
1
An old health advert describes kidney importance and links to diseases from uric acid. It promotes Dr Kilmer's Swamp Root as a premier kidney remedy sold by druggists in fifty cent and one dollar sizes. A free sample bottle by mail is offered with pamphlet.
A Baltimore American poem fragment presents the groom venting fatigue with wedding fuss about the bride and bridal attire. He complains of expected meekness while anxious to avoid spotlight, imagining conventional black attire and constant parlor jokes. The narrator longs to be forgotten as he endures the ceremony buildup.
The article explains how seasonal vegetation shapes the planet's color from space, noting mosses and lichens create striking scenes like Greenland's crimson cliffs and Yellowstone's Golden Gate. It discusses Mars coloration and Earth reflecting green light toward the Moon during a new moon phase.
A medical article contrasts whiners with productive people, urging the whining to stop. It contrasts two women, one content with work and purpose, the other idle and destructive. The piece urges effort, discipline, and self improvement to avoid social and personal decline.
A downtown real estate office tale shows an ambitious clerk learning a harsh money lesson after a boss overpays. The NYT anecdote shifts to Yale professor O C Marsh recounting a street encounter over payment for a horse hoof, ending with a sly twist from a driver.
Mrs Hawkins awakes to hear burglars but learns the sound comes from a gas meter, as William investigates. Dean Pigou notes bishops anecdotes on ordination, recounting a candidate's quip about celibacy and biblical widows, with another rendering involving lamentation.
A famed Scottish MP, visiting Chatsworth, dines with the Duke of Devonshire. At home he rages over nobility while his wife quips about what a duke would eat, noting the Chatsworth lunch was merely minced lamb on toast.
During a Bristol church congress a crowding reception by the lord mayor overwhelmed attendees. A prominent northern clergyman, presented to the mayor and his wife, was swept through rooms and back into the entrance hall as crushes persisted. The butler boomed a joke naming him Been in before.
The article urges praising and encouraging public effort over constant fault finding, highlighting daily encouragement at home, work, and church. It recounts Washington’s arch carving, a daring 250 foot ascent by a youth, and notes James M. Auter’s appointment as aide on General Black’s staff in the Grand Army of the Republic.
A live bear will anchor West Virginia's display in the Forestry Building at the St Louis Exposition. Also noted: deaths of William C Whitney and Annie Chambers Ketcham, a phonographic William voice record for archives, wage cuts in Virginia coal fields, acquittal in Virginia murder case, Panama canal deposit plans, unrest rumors, Virginia Polytech Institute funding, horse docking bill, Roanoke Fair renamed, planned technical school in Hanover, fugitive Mullin confession, Nancy Cornell obituary, and a medicinal cough remedy advertisement.
The passage explains how hissing carries different meanings: West Africa uses it for astonishment, the New Hebrides for beauty, the Busutos for applauding speakers, Japan’s hiss signals reverence, and in America it expresses disapproval. It outlines varied social functions of a single sound across cultures.
A rural English schoolmaster grows exasperated by a pupil's vague replies. He hands the boy a two pence and orders him to "big some brains." The quick-witted response flips the joke as the boy asks if he must tell the man that the money is for the headmaster.
In a humor exchange from New York Weekly and Brooklyn Mage a doctor jokes about insomnia and paying a will while an attorney questions a witness. A punchline reveals the speaker is an undertaker, not a physician, prompting a humorous mislabel. Also a seaside joke from Smoot Set features a town arm of the sea hugging the shore.
Kate notes Nellie always said she would never marry Tom yet she accepts him after he produces a solitaire diamond ring. Mildred recalls Nellie saying that his convincing argument that night had a convincing ring.
A brief fragment from Brooklyn Life features a dialogue about a trunk or trank and perceived harm. The Owner defends the item, claiming no harm was caused and urging not to treat it as harmful. The Porter questions or confirms concerns in the exchange.
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