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Newspaper
Lanark Gazette
Location
Lanark, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Mar 30, 1892
Page
3
Fragment from a period drama scene in which Mrs Creesus plans lavish outfits for her daughter for a Saratoga visit. The dialogue covers fashion, finances, and social aims, with remarks on health, doctors, and guardians as the characters clash over appearances and propriety.
Medical note explains how microbes in milk cause cholera infantum and other diarrheas, and advocates milk sterilization. It describes steaming methods, simple equipment, and a Boston doctor's tested apparatus. Instructions cover heating milk in bottles, plugging with cotton, and using rubber nipples.
A tale from the Washington Post recounts Mr Blank er thinking a funeral was for a longtime friend and benefactor. In truth the deceased man was a stranger, and Blanker realized he had been the chief mourner at the wrong man’s funeral, an incident that cost him for flowers and wine.
Secretary Windom, known for long hours at the Treasury, was denied entry by a new watchman who would not recognize him. After failing to gain entrance, Windom pleaded his identity, but the guard stood firm. Journalists intervened, convincing the secretary to leave, while Windom apologized and praised the guard for his strict duty.
The Arizona Kicker chronicles a feud with Major Davis who dubbed them horse thieves and bigamists. After threatening buckshot, editors confront him at Snyder's saloon, delivering a beating and reporting him ruined as a cautionary tale. The piece also details weddings, mischief, a self defense case, and school visitors reacting to a child’s knowledge of Yorktown.
A humorous New York Times piece catalogs prominent nasal traits of public figures. It notes Napoleon, Gladstone, Grant, Blaine and many others with large or distinctive noses, suggesting a link between prominent noses and shrewdness, while joking about Miss Murray Hill seeking a nose reshaping.
David Ker recalls King Oko Jumbo of Bonny aboard a west Africa voyage in 1585 and his distrust of doctors, ending with a humorous tale of laudanum and a king's five day nap. The piece closes noting Willows California lights visible to Orland eighteen miles away.
An ad dense fragment highlights Early Risers pills for constipation and headaches, Puterbaugh Bucklen's Arnica Salve for skin ailments, De Witts Little Early Risers, Sareaparilia, and nerve liver pills. It mentions trial samples, prices, and local druggists plus a North American Review note on finances by Henry Claws and remarks on Restorative Nervium and other tonics.
A wartime style ad notes Dr King s New Discovery for consumption coughs and colds claims it can cure throat chest or lung ailments. It promises money back if not fulfilled and offers trial bottles free at Corner Drug Store with larger bottles priced at $1.00. Cardinal Gibbons penned an article on Patriotism and Politics to be published in the April North American Review.
Citizens hear a pledge of satisfaction guarantees for Dr. tion Dr King's New Life Pills Back len's Arnica Salve and Electric Bitters with refunds offered if unsatisfied. Corner Drug Store notes remarks on medicines' merit. An April North American Review piece titled Our National Dumping Ground previews immigration story by John B Weber and Charles Stewart Smith.
A bustling real estate boom draws property holders' attention while Dr Franklin Miles promotes his New Heart Cure claiming cures for heart disease with thousands of testimonials. A Nebraska reader cites a complete recovery after using four bottles. The text also mocks banking history, partial motion theories, and urges readers to buy Burrington Line tickets, inviting letters to a travel agent.
A speaker recalls writing Agnes I love thee on a sandy beach with a reed, but waves erase the inscription. Frustrated, the speaker vows to write on the sky using a pine dipped in Vesuvian fire from a mountain peak, inscribing tender words upon the heavens.
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