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This newspaper page contains 7 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Lamar Register
Location
Lamar, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Nov 17, 1894
Page
2
An old advertisement claims Piso’s Cure for Consumption provides relief for asthma with results said to be nearly a cure. The note promises a 25 cent price for the remedy.
A string of light dialogues and punch lines spans engagements, family banter, a moon observation, a bank vault joke, and misheard phrases. Characters include Alice Maude Tom and Mrs Wigwag, with bits about a clever cashier and domestic scenes. The final quip notes a misplaced trade for an air gun.
An advertisement extols Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as a remedy for rheumatism and other ailments. It claims relief at the outset and as anodyne for nervous systems, notes heart risks from rheumatism, praises kidney trouble, malaria, constipation, debility, neuralgia, sleeplessness and dyspepsia, and promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure as a constitutional treatment with a money-back offer. It includes purchase details and endorsements from F J Cheney & Co.
In a tale told to a Washington reporter, Mike Dooley, a former doctor’s driver, opens a bogus practice after his employer’s death. He cons a patient into paying in advance with grand claims and a theatrical examination, concluding with a dramatic wart diagnosis.
In Clyde New York a dealer brought horses once used on the New York street railway. One horse purchased by E. H. Cady was being driven home when a traction engine approached. The frightened horse reared and dropped dead in the street.
A light exchange shows Mrs Hasdust and Mrs Upper crust noting a card marked P P C on the corner. They discuss travel plans in a Pullman palace car and deride the vulgarity behind the note.
The Wife bets she will obtain a new hat while the husband warns against it. A terse exchange unfolds with implications of restraint and desire amid a dull day. The husband remarks that without Thadn't possession, the hat remains unattainable, framing a moral undercurrent.
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