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Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Mar 10, 1913
Page
3
A vintage ad promotes Hay's Hair Health claiming it restores natural hair color, eliminates dandruff, and rejuvenates hair in a simple safe product. It offers free samples via local druggists and guarantees refunds if unsatisfied, listing Hoeschler Bros and other depots.
A columnist argues drastic remedies for suffragettes who threaten violence near murder. They mock imprisonment hunger strikes and propose spanking as a humane yet comic punishment to deter women from martyrdom, claiming public ridicule would deter their dramatic acts.
The piece argues for calm, lawful suffragists in England as the real merit of the suffrage debate is buried under violence. It insults militant actions as childish and suggests a need to restrain disorder to allow sensible, law abiding women to be credited for seeking the ballot. It condemns threats and urges reason.
A cowcatcher for automobiles has been invented. Owing to meat prices, it would delight many motorists to catch a cow.
A Brooklyn man who stole an airship avoided a costly outcome by not stealing a horse, implying the high price of fuel would have doomed the raid. The remark contrasts airship theft with the impracticality of horse theft given today’s gasoline costs.
A Washington woman sues a man for 10000 dollars over one hug highlighting rising prices for simple luxuries. The report notes good roads in France are wearing down with automobile use and bank accounts. An eastern college professor robbed of 5000 dollars must work an inside line after hours.
A Duluth sociologist recounts a story at a banquet where a dealer praised his trust. The tale involves a freight train encounter with a tramp who is an old boyhood friend of the conductor and a brakeman, leading to an unresolved double draw of loyalty.
No Nostalgia H. Atterbury Smith advocates an open stairway plan to flood tenement apartments with sunshine and fresh air, claiming it will transform crowded dwellings into homes. A contrastive anecdote about a seasoned sailor Captain Salt underscores homesickness and the urge to roam.
Tommy returns home with a dirtied face and a black eye after fighting. His mother reminds him to count to a hundred before fighting, but he explains he started counting and the other boy acted first, causing the injury.
A reflective line emphasizes how history favors deceased figures, while suggesting the idle elite endure tedious rivalries as they memorialize the past. The remark hints at the social dynamics of scholars and critics who spend their time chronicling others.
An eminent professor reports microbes on baby cab handles and many common items, posing danger to nurse maids who push those carriages. The poem humorously suggests microbes may be found everywhere from doorknobs to telephones and even the pearly gate in a future life.
A Cleveland lawyer faces a street remark about his oratory skills. He explains that juries demand precise, prepared speeches while banquets require quick, casual lines and less polish. The quip highlights contrast between formal courtroom rhetoric and after dinner speech delivery.
A compilation of short items and quips from The Popular Magazine style pieces. Notes on following bad clues, a parable of the goose that laid golden eggs, and brief reports from New York to San Diego cover curiosities and oddities. Includes critiques of Broadway squaws, a postmistress losing her job, burglars watched by cops, a Princeton case, Eliot on profit sharing, a Bombay mine shawl purchase, a Chicago robbery, a San Francisco horse, a Portland Pullman jury trick, and a pelican wrecking an airplane.
A California businessman credits a morning cereal shift with Grape-Nuts for steady energy and mental clarity. He describes four teaspoons of Grape-Nuts with a sugar and a splash of cold milk as delicious and invigorating, praising Postum Co. and the booklet The Road to Wellville.
Mrs E H Paiechek returns from La Crosse visit. Many farmers bring grain to the local elevator. Piepenhagen brothers prepare to move near Camp Douglas. August Martine ill. Miss Rachel Hansen visits in Ferryville. Mrs P Peterson and daughter visit Westby. Local residents transact business in La Crosse and visit relatives there.
Langham and officials discuss the murder scene and timeline. Andy Gilmore details North visiting McBride to raise cash on gas bonds, with North receiving three thousand fifty seven dollars before two o clock yesterday. The coroner notes the killer acted between five thirty and six, while North’s movements are traced to McBride’s store.
A provocative saying notes a dentist can be brutal to a man when he is down without censure. The remark raises concerns about professional ethics, patient vulnerability, and accountability in medical practice.
A vintage advertisement advises La Crosse housekeepers to serve Minnesota Spaghetti. It touts its delicious flavor, easy preparation, high nourishment, and low cost of about one cent per dish. The copy emphasizes using genuine Minnesota Spaghetti made from durum wheat and glitter.
Learn about Danderine a 25 cent hair product claiming quick removal of dandruff and shedding and dramatic growth over weeks with a single application. It touts immediate shine and fullness by drawing a strand through hair to show a dramatic transformation.
The dialogue reveals a murder inquiry surrounding Mr. Langham, Mr. McBride’s missing bonds, and claimed North transactions. Sheriff Conklin notes the safe was rummaged and the bonds not found. The coroner and Moxlow discuss locating North and continuing investigations.
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