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Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Jun 18, 1909
Page
3
Subscribed and sworn to before me this thirty first day of May 1909 A E Bleekman Notary Public acting under oath witnesses certify the document and seal dated May 31 1909 at the jurisdiction of the notary public.
The Wall Street Journal cites evidence of strong business progress in the current year with leading industrial firms reporting securities totaling 172.6 million in the first five months, far surpassing last year and 1895. It comments on rapid post panic recovery, tariff debates, and calls for constitutional income tax proposals, with remarks from William Jennings Bryan and Taft.
A fragment notes that except for a few Republican insurgents, nothing of an illuminating or disinterested character has been elicited. The terse line hints at political friction but provides few concrete facts or named individuals.
In the death of John Paul a community remembers a man whose intelligence and execution built a great industry. He lived modestly, reared a diligent family, and faced death with calm courtesy, leaving a record of deeds rather than words and inspiring his children to honor him.
An old advertisement-style note claims rapid weight loss via Marmola fluid extract and peppermint water, taken after meals and at night. It touts simplicity, urges avoiding dieting and vigorous exercise, and promises restored weight and comfort within a week. The remedy's credibility is not assessed.
The defendant appeared distressed as trial began and asked for a new jury, claiming all jurors owed him money for clothes. The remarks were reported by the Democratic Telegram in a colorful courtroom scene.
An old health advice snippet links wholesome breakfast to daily performance and mood. It promotes E C Corn Flakes and Egg O See Wheat Flakes with milk as healthful options, citing the vital balance of blood and digestion. The piece ends with a humorous Thomas and Marse Henry anecdote from the New York Press.
A mass theater meeting advertises ticketing at the door for an engineers convention. Dayton once mocked its distinguished citizens, the Wright brothers, but now protests fade as the event gains momentum. The piece notes a bell wringer at stations unable to stop the dodgasted thing, emphasizing futuristic progress.
A humorous Louisville Courier-Journal excerpt describes a chaotic home scene as a father returns home and battles a dim hallway. He stumbles over a mushy cake and causes a chain of clumsy events while his wife and family react with exasperated affection.
Marse Henry Watterson and Gus Thomas spent an evening in Louisville tired by early morning. By 2 a.m. they began to feel fatigue, and by 3 a.m. they were exhausted, with events trailing off in the fragment.
An old darkey seeks entry to a fashionable city church. The minister sends him home to pray. Days later the man returns and reports that he has prayed for twenty years but still cannot gain admission, humorously noting his long quest and divine reluctance.
A brief quip from the Boston Transcript notes a back and forth on whether Mr. Snapp-tLife is full of contradictions with Mrs. Snapp insisting otherwise. The remark captures a light, witty exchange in the paper’s voice.
A Baltimore schoolteacher, discouraged by a student’s ignorance, asked if George Washington was a sailor or a soldier. The boy replied he was a soldier because he had seen a picture of Washington crossing the Delaware, noting that a sailor would not stand up in the boat.
In a trolley ride, Hanna tells Dingley how to gain 25 percent on investments. The scheme centers on railroad tickets sold at a 25 percent discount in bulk. A tailor named as defendant appears in the interrupted narrative segment.
A detective tone cartoon shows burglars taunting a guard about a box of cigars. The caper ends with the burglar reading a lid inscription from a gift in a domestic setting. A humorous tourist and a witty exchange about counting children conclude the slice.
He asks if her father would object to their marriage. She says he would if she told him to, revealing familial opposition as a potential barrier to their union.
In a dim cabin the trio nurse John Shil after a perilous night. Tankerlane Yardley and Playle debate revealing Shil’s fate as dawn nears and Conasea becomes the planned destination while Shil lies unaware and regroups.
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