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This newspaper page contains 18 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
La Crosse Tribune
Location
La Crosse, Wisconsin, United States of America
Date
Dec 10, 1909
Page
3
A tribute to Granddad as La Crosse’s landmark gift and a broader critique of gold as a value standard. The piece extols the mountain’s beauty and civic value, then shifts to President Taft’s remarks on gold’s impact on living costs, arguing for a non elastic monetary standard amid rising prices.
An outcry followed the near loss of the 27 foot Lyon statue Granddad in Lucerne's mountains and Wisconsin voices urge a local day of thanksgiving. Citizens praise patriotism and propose a lasting record in city vaults to honor the historical carving and its guardian role for generations to come.
A golfer returns to his burial lands and speaks of origin and time away as the caddie watches. The course bears scars from their play with turf lifted by drives. The pair discuss using an iron rather than a driver for a safer approach on the unfamiliar green.
A brief note calls the spell of weather a bad stretch, with readers advised to take precautions amid unsettled conditions and frequent changes.
A touted home formula claims to rapidly restore health from nervous exhaustion melancholia and anxiety. It lists syrups and tonics including Sarsaparilla compound balm wort Cardi Oil and Endomene compound with dosages after meals and at night. The ad guarantees astonishing nervous force and lasting benefits without opiates.
A notable act called the Gold Eagle the paper tearer will perform a 20 minute routine tearing photos in paper. The performer resembles Buffalo Bill and is billed as the highlight of amateur night at the Bijou tonight with additional amateur acts expected to appear for an engaging show.
A short critical reflection on prudish censorship by a band of Divines condemning a performance as suggestive, with a quotation from Charles Reade on the “prurient prude.” It cites Doctor Johnson and the saying honi soit qui mal y pense, arguing readers read harm into innocent diversions.
A long poem about a rebellious youth nicknamed Bill who resists orders, schemes to act ahead of others, and faces escalating failures until his death leads locals to say he might have avoided trouble by thinking ahead. The verses critique vanity and predictable rebellion across a lifetime.
Mrs Atchison hosts a dinner for governors of North and South Carolina at Ardsley with elaborate prep and a playful ritual using two brown jugs. The scene showcases social diplomacy, witty exchanges, and a toast turning into a humorous lesson on drinking culture.
Blankson fears paying a five guinea initial visit to a medical specialist. His doctor offers five guineas for the first visit and one guinea for subsequent visits. Blankson devises a plan to dodge the initial fee and returns to the specialist with an audacious greeting.
A candidate delivering a stirring address was hit in the face with a rotten egg. He paused to wipe it away then calmly said I have always contended that my opponent's arguments were very un sound. The crowd roared and he faced no further trouble.
An insurance man in a small town hosts a guest in high insurance circles. He fears a smoker may ruin the dinner by cigars. He finds a workaround by borrowing his guest's overcoat and concealing a cigar, then offers it as an unusually fine cigar the guest should try, claiming he does not smoke.
A Buffalo Commercial quip recalls Lewis Carroll using poetry to mock poets and a trig instructor. Carroll’s tale centers on a wager over Tennyson’s Charge of the Light Brigade and a misread measure of a league.
In a Pennsylvania town the Friends and a prim Quaker spinster named Aunt Patience attended the grandnephew’s wedding. During breakfast the groom teased her to reveal why she never married. She answered calmly that she was not as easily pleased as his wife.
Humorists note the French craze for aeroplaning as nearly a disease. Suggestions include aerosipelas fly flu fever inflow enza and the proposed skyatica to capture the phenomenon.
A simple mixture from Marmola Cascara Aromatic and Peppermint Water taken as directed promises easy fat loss. It targets the chin hips and abdomen first, then shoulders bust and ankles as fat declines. Reported fat loss up to 14 ounces per day with no ill effects or wrinkles observed.
A long humorous anecdote presents Theodore Roosevelt as a versatile figure who trains early rising, sports, and study, then pursues wars, governance, and authorship. It ends with a moral praising early Christmas shopping, urging readers to shop early and spread the habit.
Noted physician’s recipe touts a powerful cough cure. Mix whiskey glycerine and pine compound, dose every four hours, with Concentrated pine sold in half ounce airtight bottles labeled Concentrated.
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