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Newspaper
Kansas Agitator
Location
Garnett, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Jan 22, 1904
Page
2
A collage of humorous and pointed notes on world events, industry, and culture. Jests about Detroit’s wealth, Monte Carlo profits, radium fear, and the absurdities of modern life abound. References to Wilson, Carnegie, Morgan, and Sage accompany wry observations on journalism and manners.
A Christmastide tale follows Freddie, a Sunday school attendee, who grips a blue and gold book about the afterlife with gleeful intent. An old maid remarks on his seeming piety while Freddie envisions sale of the gift for dime novels, revealing a troubling duality. The piece portrays a perverted urge amid a moral frame.
The narrator describes a Dalhousie to Chumba journey through Kashmir's south point. They admire a forested route, a moving lake island, and a buffalo marsh. In Chumba the women wear vibrant dress, bazaars teem with silver ornaments, and the old Lachml shrine opens with bells.
A fragmentary poem or dramatic piece depicts the Demon of the Pit amid marching troops and ruined scenes. Repeated lines show the demon's defiant presence as crowds shout and a ruined mill faces starving men while a questioned lord asks how long. The text emanates a warlike and apocalyptic mood with named figures like Wilkon and a king referenced.
Pat explains golf to Casey in broad dialect humor noting lessons from greens keeper and a mispronounced description of teeing off. He recalls attempting his first swing and accidentally touching the ball, highlighting the game's playful learning stage.
Edward L. Adams, former Rochester Democrat and Chronicle editor and U S consul general at Stockholm, wrote a neighbor’s obituary whose trousers were burned during a Fourth of July celebration. The next day a typesetting error changed the line to “the sympathies of a large circle of friends will go out to the burned panta,” cited by the New York Times.
A reporter questions the father of an injured boy about his son’s accident and operation. The father brags that his son needed no payment except chloroform, highlighting his pride in the boy’s endurance and the lack of burden.
A claimed simple insomnia cure recommends crushing raw onions to release juice and inhaling the scent for ten minutes after bedtime. The method supposedly calms the nervous system and relaxes overwrought nerves, though it is hardly pleasant.
A farmer near Lebanon Pennsylvania reports eight turkeys stolen in one night. The thief left a wallet containing ten twenty dollar bills, suggesting the loot came from a nearby residence. Local rumor points to a possible break in during the same night.
The term Christmas box refers to alme-boxes placed in churches on Christmas morning to receive donations for the poor. Since the alms were not distributed until the following day, December 26 became known as Boxing Day.
A New York Times style note describes how birds at all levels of the ecosystem prey on insects. Woodpeckers, warblers, sparrows, and other birds dig, scratch, and pluck insects from burrows and foliage, while fly catchers, swifts, swallows, and martins harvest on the wing. Night hunters like whip-poor-wills and nighthawks patrol crepuscular hours to take active prey.
A New York Times anecdote recalls Amos Cummings reporting an accident in which an Irish hodcarrier fell three stories. Police helped the injured worker as Cummings questioned the name, mistaken for the foreman, and the Irishman muttered about the hospital.
The Philadelphia Ledger recounts a witty tale about Professor Samuel D Grose once ill and then returning to activity. A patient greets him with concern that patients died while he was sick, and Grose replies with a clever quip about “they will fly by the Gross.”
A quiet man asks the know-it-all expert to share knowledge on a couple of topics. The superior figure grants permission, creating a pause as the exchange shifts from assertion to curiosity. The scene suggests humility can soften even a dominant intellect.
Camille Saint-Saëns discusses contemporary music criticism and peers while chatting with a young woman who praises a pianist. He notes the performer’s mood clothing posture and manner, then asks if she noticed his playing. The remark reflects his thoughtful moderating stance on artistic evaluation.
A reflective vignette traces moments of youth sailors and town life. It recalls friends, farewells, smiles, tears, and lines about change as sun and clouds drift, hinting at time passing and hopeful days ahead.
Rev Dr William T McBiveen discusses the intelligent use of Scripture in a vivid anecdote about a Tennessee encounter with a colored woman who named her son Judas Iscariot. He notes the Bible’s influence and recalls his own family history with sixteen children. The tale frames naming as a moral, cultural, and religious act with strong regional context.
Secretary Wilnon states farmers have paid debts to foreign bondholders. The report notes bondholder payments and confirms action by the agricultural department.
Veteran Joshua Heller reports relief from kidney trouble after using Dean Kidney Pills. He says the pills reliably ease attacks and endorses them as effective as two years ago. Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo sells at 60 cents per box. ad includes a note about a boy fleeing after a twig was bent.
A fragmented OCR fragment lists medical claims about deafness and ear care, then shifts to assorted ads for Defiance Starch, a Dakota land sale offer of 160 acres, and a seed company promotion. Includes stray quotes and miscellaneous sayings, reflecting varied local notices and commercial pitches.
Instructions describe a test using a Kinssa topped bottle and added sugar to expose water for four weeks. If the mixture turbidifies, it is unsafe to drink. if it remains clear, the water is considered safe.
A young girl who recently mastered her catechism laments her routine after saying she obeys the commandments to honor her parents yet finds no longer days. She notes nightly bedtimes at the same hour, expressing childish disappointment in the slow passage of time.
A Milan exposition marks the opening of the Simpson tunnel with invitations to the United States. The event highlights sections on earth and air transportation, marine transport, insurance, decorative art, and industrial workshop processes.
A curious occupation for a woman is that of a dinner taster. She spends part of each day visiting houses and tasting dishes intended for dinner. She suggests improvements and shows cooks how to better prepare meals.
A Memphis furniture man describes nervous spells alleviated by replacing coffee with Postum. He weighed 142 pounds before, but after a year on Postum his weight reached 165 and health improved, crediting the change to the advice of a physician and quitting coffee. The ad promotes Postum as a healthier alternative with a testimonial and a booklet titled The Road to Wellville.
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