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Newspaper
Kansas Agitator
Location
Garnett, Kansas, United States of America
Date
Apr 24, 1903
Page
2
A miscellany of satirical notes and sharp witticisms touching politics, finance, and society. Items mention Ganett Kansas China stance, royalty in Lisbon, Hetty Green taxes, Venezuela loans, Cuba Americanization, and a comedic roast of figures like Nicholas II and Dr Parkhurst.
A Boston minister declares adoption of his third creed as he remains young enough to survey the field. He contemplates the full list and the chance to form a personal spiritual view beyond dogma and greed.
Four judges of the eighth United States circuit led by Amon M Thayer along with Walter H Sanborn Henry Clay Caldwell and Willis Vandeventer rendered a decisive anti trust ruling in the Northern Securities merger case. Their careers span from 1870s to 1890s across Missouri Minnesota Indiana and Arkansas with service in federal and state courts and notable public offices.
An amused exchange shows a commander instructing an orderly to inform Private Smith of an approved application though the man died months earlier. A separate market scene has a trader misnaming meat options, and a humorous exchange over a book promising marriage tricks.
The United States circuit court at St Paul ruled the Northern Securities Company illegal and enjoined it from voting stock in Great Northern and Northern Pacific. It decreed stock return to former owners and dismissed any effective chance to sustain the merger under the Sherman act. The ruling aims to curb rail line concentrations and sets a strong precedent for antitrust enforcement. The government plans further appeals only if necessary, while anticipating a lasting impact on similar holdings schemes.
James J Hill Pierpont Morgan Governor Van Sant and other figures offer brisk comments on a political clash. Day cites freedom from monopoly, Knox legal wisdom, Griggs calls it revolutionary, while Hill jokes about laughing last.
Beourltles company ownership of major stock in two firms pooled earnings for stockholders. Chicago Chronicle calls the decision revolutionary, saying it strikes at trusts and restores free competition across trade and transport. The piece credits Sherman’s anti trust law as effective, predicting no reversal by the Supreme Court.
The Morgan Hill led merger seeks to decentralize management of three rail properties while preserving control by the combine. The court analyzes how the deal affects competition, noting the Securities company concentrates power in a single person over the Northern Pacific and Great Northern lines, reducing rivalry.
A New York editor sent a wire asking Methodist Bishop C. C. McCabe in Fort Worth for his view on the Anglo-American alliance and requested no answer. Fort Worth resident C. C. McCabe replied simply with the message It's a d d good thing. The editor’s reaction remains unrecorded.
The grasshopper or derrick elevator used by the London Grain Elevator company at the London docks is designed to move corn from the holds of large American liners. An endless belt with buckets travels to lift 150 tons of corn per hour, drawing from the hold and transferring to coasting vessels or warehouses, likened to a stomach pump in readiness.
Delaware's new senator J Brank Aflee wins favorable views among colleagues. A friendly, unassuming jeweler from Dover, Aflee says he aims for practical results rather than fame. Meanwhile Barrie earns immense royalties from The Admirable Crichton and Quality Street, making him the leading English language playwright of the era. A separate notice reports a hapless find as a New York Tribune-filled bee nest hidden behind weatherboards.
A young hopeful recalls a trick by a stern veteran. An old pawnbroker story resurfaces as a birthday promise turns to irony when a new item arrives with the speaker’s name engraved on its case, revealing the old war behind the joke.
A fragmentary dialogue shows a speaker telling a doctor that he has sent for medical help to please friends, while expressing strong doubt in modern medical science. The other voice mentions the mile and a vet, noting faith is irrelevant to the outcome as cure occurs regardless.
A fragmented historical note references a person named Reuben and Sitas with dialect speech about seeking notoriety. The text suggests schemes to gain attention by painting a barn or other act when a new baby is not in the household.
A fragmentary dialogue recalls a remark about luck in odd numbers, referencing Rory O More. The speaker notes a poor reception upon returning home at 3 in the morning, alluding to a late night incident and a dismissive reaction.
A student of political economy says there are numerous opportunities for a young man in this country. The philosopher counters that such chances are wasted if the youth is inclined to make a fool of himself.
A witty exchange shows a young lawyer claiming a win in his first suit yesterday. He proudly announces his engagement to Miss Love as the Philadelphia Press notes the light moment.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer comic exchange recalls President Roosevelt never carries an umbrella and a quip about not suspecting him of taking the last three lost. The dialogue features Milas Mabel and Miss Ellen praising sociability and charm, framed in light humorous banter.
A short comic dialogue centers on a married couple, Mrs Prissima and Mr Prissima, trading witty lines about marriage and warmth. The exchange features Mrs Prissima noting her clever entrance and Mr Prissima retorting about keeping warm, delivering a lighthearted domestic vignette.
A 50,000 insect collection, origin worldwide and created by the late John Akhurst, remains unsold by the University of Chicago department of zoology. The collection is exceptionally valuable for its completeness and reflects years of meticulous labor.
Reverend John K. Nutting head of the Utah Gospel mission told the Presbyterian Ministers Association in New York that if Mormonism grows as it has in the last twelve years it will, within a decade, control the western United States from Canada to Mexico, a claim framed as a warning about demographic trends.
Tremont Temple church in Homton extended a near unanimous call to Rev. Clarence A Harbour of Rochester New York to its vacant pulpit. The decision was effectively unanimous and nearing final approval.
Local notice recounts Mr A B Smith's long illness with kidney pain and urinary issues. Doctors deemed permanent cure unlikely until four days on Dodd's Kidney Pills, with rapid relief and lasting recovery reported. Ends with unrelated humor about ideal apartment closets.
A comic note from a 19th century journal laments kissing going out of fashion. It argues kissing declined due to sanitary concerns and shifts in etiquette, suggesting science now underpins social conduct. The piece pokes fun at shifting norms and the persistence of propriety.
A Galapagos giant tortoise estimated at 400 years old and weighing about 400 pounds traveled by limited train from the Galapagos to a private zoo owned by Hon. Walter Rothschild in London. In captivity he is fed cabbages instead of cacti from his native habitat.
Frederick, Grand Duke of Baden, has ruled longer than nearly all European monarchs except the Emperor of Austria. He began regency in 1852 and became grand duke four years later.
A Lisbon doctor stirs debate by asserting at least 2,000 lepers exist in Portugal and travel as beggars, spreading infection between towns and regions.
A testimonial attests that Grape-Nuts food cured a man’s long standing bowel condition after five years of suffering. He abandoned drugs, relied on Grape-Nuts for breakfast and lunch, and later a varied dinner, reporting steady health improvements over about a year and a return to normalcy.
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