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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Jefferson Jimplecute
Location
Jefferson, Texas, United States of America
Date
May 26, 1906
Page
3
W. C. T. U. led by Mrs. H. A. Benefield will meet with Mrs. Julian Woodson on Thursday May 31 at 3 30 pm The talk emphasizes temperance as a virtue beyond abstaining from alcohol urging boys to be clean and temperate in all things for happiness and pride of mothers and town.
For more than twenty years Mr. J B Massey of 33822 Clinton St Minneapolis was tormented by sciatica. One application of Chamberlain's Pain Balm relieved pain and sleep became possible. Less than one bottle effected a permanent cure. 25 cent bottle offered by all dealers.
The piece favors prime rib roast and meat buying optimism, then pivots to light humor. It includes a quip about Pa and Ma Twaddles disciplining Tommy, a Chesterfield maxim, and a Springfield justice who jokes about cheap labor in a marriage service with a bridegroom paying $2.
Subscribing to The Semi-Weekly News and The JIMPLECUTE for one year costs 1.50 in advance. The deal covers 156 copies and promises news from around the world plus farmer and youth sections, market reports, and practical farm experiences. Subscribe at The JIMP Office.
An old ad copy touts Mrs WindLow’s Soothing Syrup as a universal remedy for teething pain diarrhoea and wind colic used for over sixty years by mothers worldwide. It claims swift relief and urges purchase from druggists at twenty five cents per bottle while warning to ask for the genuine product.
An advertisement asserts Chamberlain's Cough Remedy cures colds crongs and whooping cough. A cotton fire in Navasota is estimated to have caused $40000 in losses.
E L Burnett of Greenville and Vivian May Hooten of Hughes Springs married in Commerce on Sunday at 2 pm with Rev D J Aston officiating. They will live with the groom’s parents on South King Street before setting up house. The bride, described as pretty and accomplished, joins Greenville life as a welcomed addition.
A 25 cent box of Bucklen Arnica Salve cured a 23 year running sore on Mrs Lucia Wilke of Caroline Wisconsin, touted as the greatest antiseptic healer for piles wounds and sores. R M Smoot, linked to Lincoln assassination plots and alleged boat plotter in the Potomac mission, died at Fort Smith Arkansas aged 73.
A Tyler Texas business college offers a $1000 reward to any man who proves its 80 page White Feather Shown circular is false. The ad touts high quality training in bookkeeping, shorthand, and telegraphy with a tuition guarantee and guaranteed placement through an employment bureau. Also notes DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve widely advertised and a Blossom movement to form an independent school district.
An assortment of vintage health claims promotes Dr. King's New Life Pills and Burdock Blood Hitters with dramatic but dubious health guarantees. The text notes Nut culture growth in the south and a pecan grafting project in Louisiana, ending with a rural-tinged motto about duties performed shaping strength and character.
The city remains a dry town as Mayor Schmitz credits order since the disaster to the absence of intoxicants. An editorial note praises DaWitts Early Risers laxative pills as a liver cleanout. Denmark exports butter to England while importing oleomargarine due to price. Crow Drug Co promotes Kennedy's Lavative Honey and Tar cough syrup and notes St Gaudens as sculptor for Jefferson monument in Washington.
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