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Newspaper
Ismay Journal
Location
Ismay, Montana, United States of America
Date
Sep 20, 1912
Page
2
A collection of humorous observations and quips spans topics from weather to health and travel. Notable lines include a jab at stubborn optimists, a remark on harvest shortages, a ribbing about goats milk and longevity, plus playful takes on earthquakes and nickels.
A cigarette smoker in bed is identified as a factor in a casualty at sea this season, with investigators noting the pattern. Officials say the exact circumstances remain under review as crews assess risk factors and safety measures.
A columnist questions how a ball club manager keeps his job amid criticism from fans in the stands who call him a superior baseball commander.
Des Moines plans screening of a choir loft to conceal singers ankles. Reports suggest mufflers may be added to hunting case watch covers if sermons extend.
Scientist notes grasshopper can leap 200 times its length but compares the political world as the time comes to jump on a bandwagon. The quip highlights the mismatch between natural agility and political opportunism.
A New Jersey woman spread whisky to intoxicate flies as a control method. She explained the logic that a drunken fly is easier to manage, comparing it to a drunken man.
A New York woman was struck by lightning and cured of rheumatism, a remark about the unlikely sight of rheumatic sufferers wearing lightning rods. The piece recalls a boy once punished for catching files in church who is now vindicated.
An exchange mentions a fish near Hawaii called humuhumunukuapuaʻa. The note also remarks composers and proofreaders may take interest in the humuhumunukuapuaʻa.
The text questions using a cat patrol at ports to curb rats and plague risks. It also recounts a Swedish king demanding the Indian Olympic all-around champion for the palace, only for the winner to refuse, creating an unprecedented royal embarrassment.
A Philadelphia man died during a joke telling incident prompting discussion on whether society should seek harsher retribution for risky or provocative humor. The account notes public interest in accountability for sudden fatal outcomes linked to comic behavior.
Limited readable text shows scattered phrases about a county treasurer and totals. The fragment mentions Sugita and Acastio with unclear context and no concrete actions, dates, or outcomes to confirm.
Joan hides in an ivy arching cottage orchard as a stranger trespasses into her private grove. He digs into a hidden past of initials on the grandfathers tree and reveals a Lambreth estate history. They exchange wary glances then plan tea and a formal introduction with the grandmother.
A section from the Iowa Homestead outlines building a 24 foot crib with a central driveway and grain bin, using a corn elevator and conveyor driven roof. It details timber sizes, roof slope, studs, braces, sills, and cross rods, plus installation notes and long term durability tips.
London antiquarians protest a plan to sell Cromwell's House carved staircase to wealthy Americans. The seven teenth century Highgate Hill mansion features a stair with soldiers’ figures and rich oak pendants, amid a history tied to Cromwell and Bridget.
A man on the riverbank near the Atchison waterworks intake is asked how many fish he has caught. He answers he will have another, replying in a terse exchange captured by the Kansas City Star.
The exact sand to clay proportions vary with sand quality but a typical mix is about eighty percent sand and twenty percent clay. A simple test uses two glasses to measure the clay volume by filling a sand tumbler with sand and then water to the brim. The water volume equals the clay needed to fill all voids. Mixing depends on subsoil, with easier work when the subsoil is clay.
A report from the director of the office of public roads lists the top five states for road improvement. The data highlights Wisconsin and New York among others with notable mileage gains and progress across the highway system.
A three pole hardwood device six inches through and seven feet long is lashed with chain to form a soil pulverizing drag. A plank seat is bolted to the center pole with an old mowing machine seat, allowing independent pole movement and easy housing when not in use.
Practical advices on crop management and feeding. Do not hoe beans when vines are wet. Weeds hinder clover and corn yields. Blood meal and peas provide protein. Sow clover in corn after cultivation. Alfalfa grows on good soils. Round shocks recommended for grain. Pick cucumbers regularly. Silo material Cypress noted for durability. Corn fodder should not be cut early. Hay-carn lessons from recent seasons.
An old advertisement claims Cole's Carboli salve stops itching and smooths the skin. Sold by all druggists for 25 cents.
While out motoring the other day the narrator encounters an old friend. The narrative snippet asks if the friend was hurt, implying a casual, observational chat about a past acquaintance and potential injury.
An advertisement touts Paxton Antiseptic as a help for clean mouths and sweet breath. It notes availability from druggists for 25 cents a box or by mail from The Paxton Toilet Co., Boston, Massachusetts.
A playful exchange notes a friend’s physique and humorously tags him with fishy eyes and a catching voice as a playful tease amid friendship banter.
Minnesota Eye Ear Nose and Throat Hospital located near White Bear Lake thirty minutes from St. Paul offers modern equipment for eye ear nose and throat diseases. The facility is steam heated and electric lighted with accommodations for 45 patients. Rates reasonable. For details contact Miss Swan head nurse White Bear Lake or Attending Physicians 833 Lowry Building St. Paul.
In a wry remark, officials note the delay stems from negotiations over shares of moving picture receipts. They quip that the two nations argue over percentages rather than declaring war, reflecting stalled talks and financial disputes in the entertainment rights arena.
A brief exchange notes a man cleaning machinery telling his helper to save the waste, implying unusual behavior or possible resourcefulness in a work setting. The dialogue hints at attitudes toward waste management in that environment.
In a sharp aside Mire Jinks keeps her image linked to a late husband. She repeatedly refers to him as “my late husband” to craft a dignified, widowly tone.
An English sparrow built a nest under Mrs. Mary Webber's eaves and carried a burning cotton string to three nearby homes in Lawrenceburg Indiana. The flaming string started fires on shingles at Mrs. Sophia Shafer's Otto McCright's and Emanuel Wuest's houses but neighbors promptly stopped each blaze with little damage.
A London scene shows a benevolent man helping a stranger who dropped a five-pound note. He asks about a reward but declines, noting that many lose money in a big city and that the claimant is the 131st to report such a loss this morning.
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