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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Ismay Journal
Location
Ismay, Montana, United States of America
Date
Apr 11, 1913
Page
2
A collage of satirical items from The Ismay Journal including London ragtime mania and jokes about smallpox on banknotes, sailors in pajamas, alimony, a prison term for eighty years, a $26 beating fine, and various quips on princes, eggs, and aging dates.
A jumble of brief items notes telephone rates between New York and San Francisco at 18 dollars per minute, England barring women from practicing law, and a Frenchman claiming a cold light invention. Also mentioned are unused hopes for parcel post to move ashes and provide a morning shakeout.
A Chinese lecturer tells American women to eat birdseed for breakfast, joking it suits operatic divas. A New Jersey minister counsels young people to marry, saying money should not stop them. The speaker notes the advice is unnecessary as most do not follow it.
More baby carriages were sold during the last year than ever before. The commentary laments perceived risks and societal concerns tied to self-inflicted danger and race tragedy.
The text states that presenting to the English court costs 600, while in this country it can be done for as little as 1 dollar, highlighting a stark difference in expense and implying a comparison of legal procedures and fees between jurisdictions.
A Denver woman has obtained a divorce from her husband who is already deceased, illustrating a legal action to sever ties despite the spouse’s death. The case underscores complexities in marriage dissolution when there is no surviving partner.
A Harlem dentist and his wife argued as she refused to rise to start the fire. Neighbors described a heated scene despite the absence of the blaze.
A St Louis waiter saved tips to buy a hotel. The story notes his prudent plan and suggests securing a job within his own institution to guard against failure, highlighting frugal entrepreneurship and risk management.
A California painter who took his own life left a note stating he wished to die in Italy. The message referenced Palermo and contrasted with places like Oshkosh Keokuk and Montevideo, suggesting a personal longing for an Italian burial place.
Lawyers discuss what constitutes a fair fee with outsiders seeing the profession as earning the maximum possible. The debate centers on ethics, disclosure, and reasonable charges in practice.
A southern man declares love can end poverty yet warns that affection alone cannot sustain such change. The remark blends idealism with pragmatic doubt about social aid, urging action beyond sentiment to address hardship.
Bees mailed to the San Francisco post office escaped and created a brief scare for mail carriers and officials who argued about the mail as a general carrier.
Italian dirigible P2 photographs Matmata and Medenine troglodyte villages behind Tunisia's desert front. American traveler Frank Edward Johnson describes cave homes, court yards, water cisterns, and the kaid’s hospitality while noting women’s influence and local trade, including Jewish wine merchants.
A pioneer defies doubters by designing and refining aerial craft despite repeated failures. His freak devices finally soar above the skyline earning praise, wealth, and fame as he retires from the fray while others rise. He contrasts with Orville Wright as he enjoys fortune and recognition.
The exhausted postman stops at No 23 to deliver two dozen house blinds and a patent washing machine plus an iron gate for the front yard. He apologizes that the portable garage must wait for his next delivery.
A quip notes that if offered fame or fortune a man would choose fortune and seek fame later. An advertisement for Dr Pierce's Pleasant Pellets claims to cure constipation by treating its cause and thus the disease, touting easy intake.
A proverb notes that wrongdoing brings a tough road yet rarely leaves the guilty entirely alone. It reflects on isolation and consequences shaping a life of crime.
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