Juvenile Definitions Told at Hope College Dinner
Dr. Gerrit J. Kolien recounts humorous child definitions from exams at a Holland Michigan dinner. Examples include Perspiration a heat you feel all over and Monkey a little boy with a tail.
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Newspaper
Inter Mountain Globe
Location
Hulett, Wyoming, United States of America
Date
Jun 25, 1908
Page
12
Dr. Gerrit J. Kolien recounts humorous child definitions from exams at a Holland Michigan dinner. Examples include Perspiration a heat you feel all over and Monkey a little boy with a tail.
A London Tit-Bits item recalls the Eckstein brothers sharing drinks with a host who confuses Omar Khayyam with wine. The punchline lands when Abe Eckstein reveals Omar Khayyam is a cheese, not a beverage. Also mentions Garfield Tea as a health elixir for rheumatism and gout.
In Judge Speers district southern Georgia illicit distilling remains an issue with defendants like Joshua King appearing in court. King pleads guilty and faces sentence as the judge recalls biblical imagery before remarking on his claim to making moonshine.
In a witty Philadelphia Prean piece Lord Kitchener mocks a lord who offered an autograph on a scented handkerchief. He quips that the design would be his own and makes a sharp jab about hair pins, illustrating his disdain for what he calls effeminacy in men.
Ask your dealer for Allen's Foot-Ease powder to shake into your shoes. It soothes the feet, cures corns callous aging and sweating feet. Also promotes comfort in new or tight shoes. Sold at all Vints and shoe stores. Allen 8 Olmated OY address.
In a New York lecture to the Teachers College audience Mrs Ellen H Richards of Boston says the increased expense comes from changing notions of necessities rather than higher prices. She urges teachers to rethink essentials and prune excess.
A garbled, incomplete passage discusses keeping hands soft with borax and includes stray lines about saying good night and delaying plans. The text contains nonsensical or corrupted phrases and lacks clear events or context.
The Drovers Telegram reports Wisconsin moving to fund state slaughter of diseased cattle under the agriculture board. It credits the Wisconsin experiment station and state veterinarians, noting large scale tuberculin testing and mixed results, and predicts Missouri may follow with an aggressive campaign to cleanse herds within five years.
A Bay City Michigan mother recounts a long illness of her daughter described since infancy as a persistent itchy rash behind the ears and on the neck and face. After poor results from a specialist the family tried Cutira Remedies and reports the rash has vanished. May 20, 1900.
A folded agricultural note explains hauling manure promptly boosts value by at least 1.60 per load, while top dressing corn and meadows increases yields by ten to fifteen bushels per acre. It cites Iowa Minnesota the Dakotas Kansas Nebraska trials and notes Doan's Kidney Pills testimonial from John A Enders of Robertson Ave Pen Argyl Pa.
Home made cement instruction explains dissolving orange shellac in alcohol to form a quick setting waterproof cement for small repairs. Widow pension law grants $13 monthly to widows of Civil War veterans who served three or more years and married before June 27 1863, with no income limit. Pension Claim Attorney H M Atutter of Mville, Illinois, to provide blanks and details.
In a lively parlor scene, characters crowd for refreshments while Aunt Matilda prepares to sing, as George and Jack-Hello react to the gathering and the lingering tension of village social rituals.
The composer Hartman struggles with new surroundings as a noisy neighbor below disrupts his work. A chance meeting with a graceful, brown‑eyed woman reveals she is not the culprit, and Hartman’s inspiration returns, leading to renewed vigor in his opera and a hint of romance with his wife.
A Potterville church member Amos Budd drops a revealed bill into a charity box after mistaking it for a 10 cent contribution. Deacon Lane praises the act, but Budd says the note is owed to him from last year. Passenger traffic over the year reaches 475 480, up 1 100 from the prior period.
An ad style passage highlights Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a relief for women suffering from displacements inflammation and other female troubles. It cites testimonials from Mrs. Ellsworth and Mrs. Boyd and invites readers to write for advice from Mrs. Pinkham in Lynn Massachusetts. The piece ends with a humor gag about a maid and a man.
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