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This newspaper page contains 10 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Holbrook News
Location
Holbrook, Arizona, United States of America
Date
May 14, 1909
Page
7
An old advertisement extols Wabvinal Constipation remedy as aiding natural functions through regular daily habits and proper nourishment. It warns to choose genuine products and suggests the remedy supports nature rather than replacing bodily processes.
A printing firm’s discarded almanac eyelet shards inspired confetti making after workers tossed the colorful fragments. Separate items discuss cures for fits via epilepticide, a tale of two tramps wary of lodging houses, and a teething remedy promoted for children.
A writer notes bachelors praise extravagant women to justify not marrying while considering dowdly partners. An herbal remedy ad touts Mother Gray’s Australia Leap as a regulator for female weaknesses and urinary issues with a cheap sample offer.
The account recalls Knox describing an impudent politician, then shifts to a Brownsville boy John Gaines who mocked an 1812 veteran with a wooden leg asking to borrow it for hockey. A tangent ends with school humor about sea salinity and a chalky teacher exchange.
A great ocean liner limps into port as the captain describes the fore foot injury and the ship’s tack, scowling at reporters on the bridge, a typical portrait of a stern captain and peril at sea.
An assortment of classified notices lists patent attorneys GB Harpham and Brooks Lidders with addresses, trunk and bag ads, home industry promotion by G A Whitney, second-hand tents and camp furniture, Yuma Imperial Valley land opportunities by E P Teas-Gale, wallpaper sale by F J Bauer, hotel rates at Hotel Wilson, cash for books by Holmes Co, barber training by Moler College, books bought and exchanged by Knox & Richanis, and assayer services by Joan Herman with location at 82% S Main.
A vintage home remedy prescribes mixing one-half pint whiskey with one ounce Sarsaparilla syrup and one ounce Torts compound obtained from a druggist. Take a teaspoonful before meals and before retiring for a blood cleansing preparation.
The dialogue mocks minstrelsy with a joke about a ward caucus like a valise and a basso singing a sensational ballad. An advertising aside promotes Dr Kline’s Great Nerve Restorer and a free trial offer.
A narrator expresses disgust at a supposed onion invention that lacks any smell. He notes that even when he eats onions, they fail to emit their typical odor, mocking the idea as ridiculous.
An advertisement for Malthoid Roofing promises easy installation with complete supplies and no repair or large labor bills. It touts durability from the world’s largest makers, offers free roofing samples and a free book, and invites readers to write to the Los Angeles factory at 516-519 Semry Building.
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