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Newspaper
Hayti Herald
Location
Hayti, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Aug 14, 1913
Page
6
A collage of puns caustic observations and wry jokes from the era. It riffs on vacation habits aviation traffic water recreation gambling and social norms. It notes Berlin taxation bandleaders romance bachelorhood currency reform and sports with a satirical edge.
The text notes that even Europeans living in permissive regions mock the idea of rapid American divorce. It suggests the person who claims a simple tan removal is skilled is unpopular among frequent beachgoers.
A Boston man’s fish story about singing to keep a town awake is treated as a humorous tall tale. The note adds that English may be advancing as a world language, yet the observer says civilized world eats in French.
An aviator in France frightened a cow during a flight, causing the animal to panic and die. The incident underscores the danger of aerial activity to livestock and raises questions about aviation safety near rural areas.
A terse recap outlines a championship match in checkers rather than baseball, noting key moves and the victor. The piece uses sportswriting cadence to convey stakes, tactics, and crowd reaction, reflecting the era's vernacular.
A playful warning notes that criticizing a weather man may provoke him to unleash rain and humidity on the public, turning light critique into a soggy consequence for readers. The quip hints at the comic power of meteorologists and the practical joke of stormy weather.
An eastern newspaper reports immediate efforts to quickly dispatch the numerous rats that chewed up several thousand dollars worth of blanks in a telegraph office.
Scientists say solar discoveries may let experts forecast floods and droughts months ahead aiding farmers, but public satisfaction hinges on mastering weather control despite imperfect conditions.
John Lind, Wilson’s representative, and Mrs. Lind with Dr. Hale arrived from Vera Cruz to confer with Huerta. A gunboat bombarded a city for about ninety minutes, causing heavy damage while an aviator was within range of the ship’s guns. Lind declined to discuss possible actions or details of his mission.
Nogales reports an unexpected bombardment near Empalme after Didier Masson's airplane engine failed over Guaymas Harbor. He landed in the Mexican side of the railroad settlement, becoming the first time his bombs reached empalme area as federal cannon and batteries joined in the exchange for about ninety minutes of shrapnel.
Washington reports President Wilson has no plan for mediation in the Mexican crisis. He told the Senate foreign relations committee that John Lind will not solve the situation but will press Huerta to honor promises for a free constitutional regime. Lind acts as the administration on the ground, with no intent to recognize Huerta.
Representative Charles M. Thompson a Progressive Republican of Illinois has introduced a bill in the house to require railroads entering Washington to electrify their locomotives within a twenty mile radius of the District of Columbia border.
Sacramento reports petitions challenge several important 1990s style statutes such as red light abatement, workers compensation, employers liability and blue sky laws. In Maine at Old Orchard the Gideons convention launched a national Bible distribution plan. 15000 Bibles ready for 600,000 targets in hotels nationwide.
Ulivi, an Italian inventor, draws French government interest by a claim that he can explode gunpowder fifteen miles away using ultra violet or infrared rays.
Captain Thomas W. Walsh of the New York police died last June after confessing to graft. His will shows an estate of only 18.82, far less than expected, with Grafter's Estate listed at 10.32.
Peace talks end with a modified frontier agreed by Servia Montenegro Roumania and Bulgaria after Premier Maiorescu pressured Bulgaria to accept terms. The line runs from west of Striman river through Strumnitza and Struma valley to the Mesta, leaving Lagos port and Kavala under Greek control. Reports say Bulgarians are disappointed yet relieved news reached Bucharest.
Washington DC Senator Joseph Johnston of Alabama dies from pneumonia. His death tightens the Democrats' Senate margin to one vote and delays appointive moves for his seat. Alabama legislature must pass a law authorizing a governor appointment before any successor is named. Hobson is seen as likely candidate for the seat.
The Lee Line steamer Peters Lee sank in 40 feet of water near Lake Providence after striking a barge between Vicksburg and Memphis. The vessel broke apart and went down in about three minutes, leaving 80 cabin passengers and crew to reach shore. The sole fatality was chief engineer Frank O'Neil.
Two 18 month old twin boys at the Children's Homeopathic Hospital in Philadelphia are said to suffer from pseudoleucaemia, also known as Wodgkin's disease, an ailment of the lymphatic glands marked by an increase in white blood corpuscles and a severe drop in red blood cells.
London authorities urged Turkey to abandon Adrianople Fortress as powers pressed Constantinople to respect the London treaty. Diplomats demanded adherence to the agreement after war broke out among Balkan allies.
Sheriff shuts down Jackpot Wyoming, arresting its mayor and councilmen while residents flee or vanish from the country in a sweeping action that leaves the town effectively empty.
Edward Harrison and Paul Fowler were executed by hanging in Fort Worth Texas for the murder of Ernest Knesch a year earlier. Fowler smoked until the end and watched the preparations with a smile as the sentence was carried out.
Chicago detective find bloodstained clothing under a porch at 121 East Fitzhugh Street linked to the disappearance of Mrs. Grady a former Cincinnati actress missing nearly two years. Grady, 32, says wife left after a trivial quarrel and has heard nothing since. Edna Reynick of Cincinnati aids search but Grady refuses information. A separate Washington report notes 100 million dollars more aid to banks for moving crops, with McAdoo stating the government can afford the move and bankers praising the relief plan.
Robbers entered the residence of a wealthy farmer near the city while he was away and tortured his wife to reveal money reportedly hidden there. After binding her, they clipped her hair with sheep shears. The wife and a 12 year old daughter were home. They took $6 in cash. bloodhounds pursued the trail.
Seventeen people were drowned off a German beach at Swinemunde when a power catamaran capsized in sight of hundreds. Twenty two aboard, five rescued. A sail on the craft and a sudden wind shift caused the accident as the Kaiser had just passed the beach in an automobile.
Kk. M. Blank faced dis honesty charges in a suit by his children. He allegedly caused fatal harm to himself during a public safety incident and wrote I die to prove my honesty in a farewell note.
Clara Bosken, the divorced wife of Patrolman Peter Shaller who was shot and killed in a quiet Cincinnati street, was formally charged with his murder.
The first international peace treaty under Secretary Bryan's plan has been signed between the United States and Salvador. It will soon be sent to the Senate for ratification and consideration.
In Chicago Illinois traders anticipated the government crop report and pushed September corn to a new high for the year. Prices rose from an initial gain of 14 cents to 72 1/2 cents, then eased slightly to close at 72 cents, the highest close since the drought fears began.
Ottumwa Iowa The Webb Kenyon law prohibiting shipments of liquor from wet to dry states is declared unconstitutional by State District Judge F M Hunter The decision holds the statute delegates interstate commerce regulation to the states a power Congress alone can exercise and cannot be delegated by states or express companies
John Shrank, who shot Theodore Roosevelt on October 14 1912, is bankrupt. Six weeks after the shooting he was committed to the Northern hospital for the insane at Oshkosh Wisconsin.
In the supreme convention the Knights of Columbus voted to keep the headquarters in New Haven and chose St Paul Massachusetts as the 1914 meeting place before adjourning.
The piece reports a Yankee fever of progress in Palestine and ancient Chaldea with irrigation projects on the Tigris, motor boats on the Euphrates, and a growing Baghdad railway. It notes fifty American reapers, sewing machines, and medicines selling alongside rugs and bricks, as a vast railway from Scutari to Basra nears completion. 72,000 workers toil on three sections, advancing toward Mosul and Hasra as the Wingdad railway promises vast growth.
Dr. W. L. Murray, a veteran Methodist Episcopal preacher at Epworth church, suffered swelling from a bouquet he inhaled while carrying flowers to a sick friend. The bouquet reportedly contained poison, causing facial swelling that spread from the nose to the rest of his face with palm unaffected.
A test by the state board of health examines eggs three years old in Trenton New Jersey. If the board survives a $4,000 loss, the ancient stock will be released from cold storage for disposal or use.
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