Somebody Sat on It
An elderly country man goes to the city to buy furniture and bargains hard. After inspecting the stock he buys some pieces. On a return visit he tests about half a dozen items and jokes that someone has been sitting on them.
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This newspaper page contains 56 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Jan 25, 1912
Page
3
In Dread of Piles Doomed to Surgery for Cure
The passage notes a fear of piles leading many to expect surgical intervention as the only remedy. It hints at widespread apprehension about treatment outcomes and patient uncertainty before medical options are clarified.
Dr Chase's Ointment Promises Piles Cure Without Surgery
A reader testimonial lauds Dr Chase's Ointment as a lasting cure for piles after doctors predicted surgery. The claimant Mawer of Boden Man says he was cured in one week and has had no relapse six months later. The ad claims quick relief and complete cure with persistent use at 0 cents a box through dealers and agents.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chase
J. Mawer
Boden
Man
Dr Chase
Dr. Chase
Doctor Urges Bed Rest After Club Case
A patient complains of serious symptoms and the doctor orders immediate bed rest with two daily visits. The patient jokes about joining a club last week, and the doctor remarks on the club case before prescribing a pennyworth of Epsom salts for a quick recovery.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lucky
Magistrate Exchange Sparks Lively Courtroom Moment
In a humorous exchange a defendant questions the magistrate about the honesty of a man seeking to photograph cheese while running a grocery shop. The brief confrontation highlights a light, odd moment in a legal proceeding.
Five Year Old Defies Mama Over Dinner Politeness
In a curious household scene Agnes, a five year old, is sent to her room for misbehavior at dinner. After thirty minutes with no remorse she is asked if she is sorry. She calmly replies that she will inform her mother when she feels contrition, declining further prompting.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Acces
Mamma
Agnes
Shoes for Sunday Speak in Church Fashion
Pierre a French Canadian tries on bright yellow shoes in a shoe factory saleroom. He complains they do not talk, unlike the desired pair that should “talk all the way up in church” and be stylish. The salesman notes the odd demand as Pierre rejects the fit.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pierre
A Scotch Tourist In Paris Uses Gooseberry Bargain
A Scottish traveler stranded in Paris buys gooseberries from a fruit hawker after failing to find his hotel. He shouts in Scots about fine grazers for pennies until a fellow Scot confronts him, asking if he believes he is in Glasgow. He gratefully asks for directions home.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Paris
Glesca
Ant cowboy bishop jokes end in donation mix up
A tramp seeks aid from Bishop Talbot in a church meeting. A clergyman notes the bishop's generosity, but the tramp ultimately reveals he gave a dollar for the bishop's new cathedral at Laramie. The moment shifts from expectation to humor as the group watches.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bishop Talbot
Laramie
Old Gentleman Finds Ticket In Mouth On Scottish Train
Scene shows a ticket collector and an elderly man delaying payment as he searches pockets. The man is teased by another passenger about memory, revealing the ticket was tucked in his mouth. The exchange ends with the passenger noting the ticket was “a fortnicht auld” and the date being sucked off.
No Movement, Keep Her Quiet, Says Farmer
A canvasser urged the farmer Giles to sign a petition for women’s suffrage. He could not read the document and finally refused, saying no, I don’t hold with movements. A woman that’s always moving is always getting in trouble.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Giles
Alius Amovin
Allus
Tonny's Injury Stems From Practical Joke Confusion
Report describes Tonny's injuries after classmates told him a large man in the smoking room was deaf and dumb. Tony approached with a smile and called him a fool, prompting confrontation when the man reacted.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tonny
Tony
Fond Father and Johnny Debate the Millennium Peace
Dialogue fragment shows a father stating the land will be safe for all creatures after the millennium. Johnny doubts and would rather be the lion than rely on that future harmony.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Johnny
It Does Not Take a Great Man to Be a Christian
A concise reflection notes that genuine Christian character is defined by humility and daily fidelity rather than fame or grand deeds. The aphorism emphasizes inner virtue over outward distinction.
The Gold Coast Climate and Exports
The Gold Coast, a British colony on Africa's west coast, suffers unhealthy heat and humidity with swamps and lakes. European residents face intermittent fevers while natives endure fewer illnesses. The region, a gold producer, relies on rich soil for cocoanut oil, bread fruit, corn, yams, limes, oranges, and other crops. principal exports include palm oil and gold dust.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
The
Gold Coast
Africa
Youth seeks work after moral lesson on idle hands
An enterprising youth asked a Hallefax politician for a job. He claimed his moral teaching warned that it is dangerous to be idle. He told the gentleman he hoped the official could find him employment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Halifax
Whitby Jet Industry Declines From Past Boom
Whitby on the North Sea coast near Leeds England long known for jet production. Fifty years ago jet industry employed about 1500 people there now fewer than thirty work in production, mostly older workers. Rough jet price has risen from 25 cents an ounce to 75 cents to 2.50 dollars per pound.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Whitby
North Sea
Leeds
England
Telescope Husbands Quip At New York Dinner
Col. Robert M. Thompson dangled a sharp jab at feminism during a Tr cent dinner in New York. He said women in the movement often choose "poor sticks for husbands" and offered his follow up about a "telescope husband" who is drawn out seen through and then shut up.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Robert M. Thompson
New York
Colonel Thompson
Food preparation tips from a bygone era
The text lists old kitchen practices including storing honey in darkness to prevent granulation, cleaning japanned trays with sweet oil and polishing with a soft cloth, and serving brown bread and butter sandwiches with fish salad. It also mentions adding oxgall to water to brighten colors for items soaked in it before washing.
Home Laundry Tips From a Careful Housewife
A careful housewife shares laundry practices using an apron pocket for needles thimbles thread hooks and eyes. She repairs minor tears while waiting for irons to heat and finds ironing beforehand makes repairs easier than after folding. Ink stains may be treated with sour milk and lime can bleach white fabrics if traces remain.
Cleaning Painted Surfaces With Naptha
To remove old paint wet the area with naptha and repeat as needed. When the paint softens rub the surface clean.
Butcher Quips With Board of Trade Over Meat Request
A board of trade operator asks about morning meat. The butcher replies he has bear steak and beef described as bully. He is pressed for lamb as the customer requests a specific cut.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Larry
Board of Trade
Saving Time, Saving Health, and a Dyspepsia Habit
A speaker recalls saving ten minutes daily at lunch for twenty years, only to learn that those minutes now help nothing. The narrator admits spending two hours daily in an antiroom of a dyspepsia specialist, revealing a life weighed by wasted time and health concerns.
The Artist Seeks Electric Help For Portrait
The Artist asks an electrician to assist with a portrait of you, miss. The Miss-Why asks for flashing eyes as the artist had requested, prompting a playful exchange about the artwork.
Hospital Carter and the smuggled powder plot
A fragment tells of Carter borrowing a match from a stranger for transporting powder to old quarrels. A passerby remarks on Carter's costume resembling half mourning. The exchange hints at a concealed operation tied to a night patrol and a grim joke about exhaustion.
Quote on virtue and diamonds sparks a dramatic showman moment
An evocative passage contrasts prudence and luxury with a dramatic stage direction. A Comtesse D Hocudetot style remark critiques women who trade virtue for jewels, while a showman invites both sexes to witness Aztec giants, imagined descendants of an extinct race, shaping a perplexing tableau.
Cat in Flight Study Inspires Airmen Descent Tricks
An untrained household cat falls from a third story windowsill but remains unhurt, calmly staring upward as a passerby retrieves it. The anecdote suggests cats instinctively know how to land and that such skills could guide future aviators in emergencies.
Little Man Accuses Wife in Court Over Cruel Treatment
A wizened man stands before the magistrate charging his wife with abuse while his assertive wife questions where they met. He evasively claims she "overtook" him rather than meeting him.
Juror Disrupts Trial Then Is Recalled
A Cleveland lawyer recounts a trial moment when a juror suddenly rose and left the courtroom. He was arrested outside the building and brought back. The juror explains his confusion amid opposing speakers and states he would not leave until completion.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cleveland
Jones
Clean Stomach Clear Mind Turmelee’s Pills
The stomach drives vital functions and disorder blocks the whole system. Restoring stomach health is essential, and Turmelee's Vegetable Pills are promoted as the best preparation for this purpose. General use for years has earned them a leading place in medicine. A trial will attest their value.
Dysentery Cordial Promises Quick Restoration
An ad extols Dr J D Kelloges Dysentery Cordial as a simple powerful remedy to cleanse intestinal canals of dysentery germs and protect the lining, claiming it restores healthy condition and should not be without.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. D. Kelloge
Nighttime Fire Fears Spark Family Vigil
A worried mother waits as a father climbs stairs to comfort a restless child. The child in nightclothes returns with a hushed plea to keep quiet while claiming the father is deeply asleep, revealing a tense, intimate domestic scene amid a firefighting crisis.
Child Converts Park Offer For Fourteen Hundred Multia Dollars
A boy sits by the roadside and offers a park to a passing man for fourteen hundred multia dollars. The Big Man agrees to take it. An advertisement touts Holloway's Corn Cure promising relief for deep-rooted corns or warts when used as directed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Holloway
Plan to Cut Bills Faces Restraint of Trade Fears
A couple debates a plan to reduce monthly expenses while worried that an agreement to limit spending could be seen as price restraint by courts. The dialogue raises concerns about legal exposure and practical savings.
Minard's Liniment Advert Says Testimonies From All America
An advertisement from Minard's Liniment Co Limited promotes testimonials from well known people across America, claiming the product as the best household remedy and urging readers to consider its merits.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
America
Minard
Minard’s
Liniment CG. Limited
Willie and Teacher Explore Helping Others
A brief dialogue shows Willie and a teacher discussing their purpose on campus. Willie insists they are here to help others, and the teacher agrees, framing their role as service to the community.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Willie
Midlands Clergyman Aid Hut Noted For Kindness
A Midlands clergyman known for charity placed a wooden hut at the grounds entrance to aid tramps. He found a traveller had eaten part of a loaf and left a penny with dirty scraps reading that the penny was for the next man.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Midlands
Tassir Tramp
Lover Distractedly Demands Help From Fanny
The scene shows a distressed speaker asking Fanny for aid as he can no longer endure a looming expense. A voice from outside pleads for a reply, pressing Fanny to respond and reveal the burden he must bear.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Father
Mrs Ramsay Macdonald a keen helper in social reform
Like Mrs Phipp Snowden, Mrs J Ramsay Macdonald, wife of the Labour leader, is a clever woman deeply involved in social reform. She has served on district and industrial councils and campaigned for her husband since 1906, winning votes and friends with her bright personality. She loves blue-books and her children fashion discarded parliamentary papers into boats houses and animals.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Phipp Snowden
J. Ramsay Macdonald
Leecester
Pyramids Visited Amid Hieroglyphic Graffiti
Mrs Dashaway Yes recalls visiting the Pyramids in Egypt where their surfaces were described as literally covered with hieroglyphics. Mrs Newrich adds a playful jab asking if they feared some signs would get on them.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mrs. Dashaway
Egypt
Pyramids
Mrs. Newrich
Ash
Matrimonial Process Parodied as Calling the Belle
A witty exchange compares marriage to making a telephone call. Cynicus notes that adoration, ringing, and giving your name humorously mirror courtship rituals and the suitor being admitted. The dialogue uses playful satire to comment on social customs.
Genesis Reading Sparks Question on Early Math
A six year old named Harry asked his mother whether people in ancient times did arithmetic on the ground while reading a chapter of Genesis. The verse cited is And the sons of men multiplied on the face of the earth.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Harry
Moving In From Verandah and Back Steps
Dialogue snippet shows two people discussing proximity to a father figure as autumn begins. One notes getting closer, the other confirms a slight advance with a shift from front verandah to back steps. The exchange implies family tension and seasonal change.
Irish Bank Tale Opens With Finnegan Laugh
In a city bank two Irishmen recall Finnegan in a joke about St Peter and a million years. Finnegan asks for a penny as St Peter explains value of time and money. The tale pivots on humor about eternal wages and earthly coin.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Finnegan
St. Peter
Baby's Own Tablets Endorsed as Safe Family Remedy
Mrs. O A Wheeler of Northlands Sask praises Baby's Own Tablets as a reliable home remedy supporting stomach and bowel issues. The testimonial notes the product keeps her baby well despite distance from a doctor and promotes it as a household necessity. Sold by medicine dealers or mail order for 25 cents a box from The Dr Williams Medicine Co Brockville Ont.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
O. A. Wheeler
Northlands
Sask
Dr. Williams’ Medicine Co
Brockville, Ont
Sweet country scene draws a small town girl
A town young lady praises the country life calling it sweet. She admires the peasant's return to his humble cot, the sturdy figure against the setting sun, the faithful companion at his side, and the plow resting on his shoulder.
Minard's Liniment Cures Colds in Worried Morning
Mrs Wise asks Delia what ails her and the servant explains an earache. The exchange hints at draughts from keyholes in the house.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Minard
Delia
Mrs. Wise
Natural Wash Tubs and Soda Fountains Described
Description of a rock isle in Clear Lake California with a perpetual soda fountain and natural wash tubs, washing machines, and ready-made soap. Yellowstone Park offers easy family laundry via boiling springs, clothes boiled in a stout bag and left to wash, then removed clean without rinsing. A local quote references Willie and a man in love.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Clear Lake
California
Yellowstone National Park
Fragmentary Tea Time Exchange
A garbled dialogue fragment shows a mother answering a child about playacting with another girl at tea and sharing sweets, revealing a playful but imperfect scene with a teasing remark about greed.
One Syllable Of Speech Destroys Love More Than A Man
A quip attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr or similar cites that one syllable from a woman's speech can dissolve more love than a man's heart can hold. The remark reflects on speech and affection in romantic contexts.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Comtesse D’houdetot
Oliver Wendell Jhimes
Women Seek Marriage as Revenge Motive in Deceptive Affairs
A provocative remark attributes a pattern to women who, misled by men, pursue marriage as a form of retaliation. The quote frames marital motives as a social tactic rather than an individual choice, reflecting gendered perceptions.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Marquis de Leaummanony
Tenderness as Path to Virtue
Quotation pairing Fuller and Parkhurst on virtue. The first urges moderation as the silken chain through all virtues while the second says brightness comes from keenness but true goodness from tenderness.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Parkhurst
Immaculate servant flawed by sudden panic
An observant waiter, famed for flawless service and precise voice, slips into nervousness one evening. He misorders every dish, jars a guest with a toppled salt, then quietly asks the master to leave as his house is on fire.
Seafarer Offers Advice During Seasickness Attack
A lady passenger asks how to help her husband during a seasickness attack. The captain replies tersely that Tuin’s necessary and he will do it, indicating a planned remedy or procedure aboard.
A Young Lady Describes An Elementary Geometry Book
A young woman laments an elementary geometry book full of ridiculous puzzles and scratchy drawings. She notes nonsensical diagrams and letters stuck in every orientation except straight as a Christian alphabet.
Restore Glass with Ammonia and Scrub for Shine
To clean old glass apply ammonia then scrub thoroughly with a brush. Rinse with clean water, dry, and polish to make the surface look like new.
Also Mentioned on This Page
H. H. Nightingale
Melinda Street
Toronto
Isaacstein
Leamington
Wreck
Ww.n. U.c
Golg Coast
Whitby Jet
Pm Sched Limited
Hace
Mr. Subbub
Ofire
Farver
FE. W. Grove
Lea
Murine
Maries Eye
WALL
Murine Eye Remedy Co
Chicago
Peter
Neal Bayerid
Internatiotal
Joma Rownie
International Stock Food
Etroeg
International Stock Food CO
Toronto Ontario Partch
Canada
Winnipe
Mei Fc
CAG
Isaheo
Workd
Shawer Land
Berg Machinery Mfg. Co. Limited
Arlington
F. E. Karn Co., Limited
Ont
Euclid
Winchester
Winschester
Winchester Repeating Arms CO
New Haven
Eddy
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