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This newspaper page contains 38 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Hamiota Echo
Location
Hamiota, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Jan 18, 1912
Page
3
A Vicorian style fragment shows a magistrate quipping to a horse dealer about a cut tail. The dealer seeks damages for a cut tail affecting resale value, and the magistrate replies that he must sell wholesale since he cannot retail a tail. The comic exchange blends medical quack ads and courtroom banter.
An exchange in a classroom features a student clarifying that results are what you expect while consequences are what you get, prompting a sharp remark from a speaker and a prompt interruption from a listener.
A wife accuses her husband of forgetting a task. He reveals a cloth tied around his finger this morning, meant as a reminder. The husband, puzzled, realizes he has forgotten how he injured his finger and exclaims with surprise. The exchange ends with the humorous misunderstanding.
An Ottawa briefing extols the Canadian Government Annuities Act as a prudent weekly or monthly saving. It explains guaranteed returns, life-long payments, and refund of deposits if death occurs before start date, with options for 10 years certain or life annuities.
A twelve year old boy submits a note from his mother to his teacher describing his truancy. The letter says the boy was involved in a fight and vandalism, was licked by a man and hunted by car drivers, and that the father and mother both spank him. The mother asks the teacher not to whip him until next time and notes the boy hopes to attend regularly in the future.
The text advises that a short person can gain height through judicious exercise and open air living. It outlines methods such as standing upright, bending the spine forward and backward, alternating bends to the sides, stretching arms, and jumping movements to stimulate spinal cartilage and promote suppleness.
Two Irish workers dig a sewer. The foreman notes the tall man and the small worker perform differently. The tall Pat asks why little Micky Dugan does twice as much work. Pat replies that Micky is nearer to the job, humorously explaining the discrepancy.
Pat declares Mecuinty a fine fellow and a great friend. He notes Mecuinty shook hands vigorously, grabbing both of Pat's hands and suggesting his watch and chain felt safer. Mick agrees, pondering the moment.
A woman tells her husband she never tells him the truth about a man. He doubts but says he will notch the piano when he learns of deceit. She retorts that she will not ruin the piano by admitting it.
Finnigan asks about grapefruit while Casey recalls trying it once and finding the fruit too hard to peel, a light exchange highlighting a humorous moment.
The text extols conversation as superior to silent reading and argues questions sharpen understanding. It cites Lord Bacon on inquiry and extols interroga tion as key to growth. It ends with a promotion of Parmelee's Vegetable Pills as a remedy for irregular life and digestive issues.
An essay on men and women gossiping with humor and a Dr Johnson anecdote. It recalls a valet assertion of enjoying ladies company for beauty delicacy and silence, then contrasts male chatterers including a park gossip, and ends with a dialect tale about Bill who jumps from a burning building awaiting tarpaulin.
An old advertisement claims deafness stems from inflammation of the Eustachian tube and catarrh. It asserts constitutional cure via Hall's Catarrh Cure, promising a $100 reward for non cure by catarrh and urging readers to send for circulars from F. J. Cheney & Co. Toledo Ohio.
The piece argues waste management in manufacturing rivals life’s broader challenge. It highlights ingenuity in saving even gold dust and, more crucially, the need to repurpose daily scraps and remnants to define a person’s life work.
The article contrasts Indian rulers with European princes noting the Maharajah’s simple dress and restrained personal expenditure. It observes his accessibility to subjects and generally democratic relations, while acknowledging occasional exceptions to royal marriage fervor.
A quaint tale recounts Dr. Boyd Carpenter before becoming Bishop of Ripon. A bashful young man and maiden sought Carpenter, asking if he was Mr Carpenter, and he affirmed with a playful response about carpentry and joinery.
A South African writer notes cows’ musical tastes vary with some preferring old melodies and sentimental songs while others favor modern tunes. A cow with little milk reportedly increased production listening to the Toreador aria from Carmen, another tripled milk on Lohengrin’s wedding march, while noisy cake-walls unsettled others.
A witty exchange notes a husband might quit buying cigars if his wife asks, while the wife counters that she would not press him if she loved him rightly and could influence him to stop. The humor hinges on proportional affection and practical persuasion within marriage.
The famed British prizefighter Bendigo found religion and became a missionary. His past lingered in his methods, as a group accused of atheism drew his quip. He asked what atheists were and then, reacting, exclaimed Hold my coat.
An article extols Dr Williams Pink Pills as a cure for St Vitus dance in children and adults. It includes a testimonial from Mrs. Chas. Phipps of Pelee Island Ontario about her daughter Edith improving after taking the pills, with pricing and distributor details.
The piece argues politeness is a daily duty equal to paying bills. It condemns rough speech at home, urges civil answers to questions, and praises the words please and thank you for easing interactions. It stresses remembering small courtesies in everyday life.
The product is regarded as highly potent against summer complaints and bowel inflammation. It is claimed to be the best medicine for both young and old sufferers, with a reputation unmatched by other cordials for the purpose.
Mrs Dearmond jokes that suffragettes in power would feature leaders on postage stamps, while Mr Dearmond fears the idea of women ruling. The dialogue reflects gender politics and domestic humor from a historical newspaper snippet.
A notice proclaims simple testimonials rather than interviews, from well known people across the country, praising Minard's Liniment as the merits of household remedies. It is issued by Minard's Liniment Co Limited.
Two men banter about painting choices in a casual street scene. The first asks what the second is doing and the second replies he is painting pictures. The first questions the quality while the second praises a small figure with a notable feature.
An anecdotal log describes a telephone exchange in China where an operator asks what number the caller desires and uses formal rhetorical language. It notes a courteous apology for a busy line and the exchange resumes after the caller responds.
A business owner reflects on bringing his son into the shop to teach him the trade. He notes the effort is paying off as the son now guides operations, marking a marked success in the family business.
The piece explains royal spending on entourages and suites for King George and Queen Mary, noting costly arrangements such as telegraph wires, numerous staff, and lavish menus. It cites examples of $10,000 for new lodgings, $750 for telegraph, and $1,600 to $1,500 for a luncheon table for ten, plus expensive music and hosting costs.
In Preston Ontario locals operate a natural Turkish bath using a sulphur rich lake. The sweat lodge is a four foot pit lined with stones and covered by a tent. A fire heats the stones and lake water is sprinkled to produce medicinal steam, with fees paid to the bath preparers.
A wife demonstrates inventive uses for sramophone records costing much money. She winds wool from a skein using the gramophone reel and pins, then plans to place a bath brick on the records to clean knives. The husband remains astonished at her ingenuity.
An uneasy exchange unfolds as a caller presses about a mistress, prompting cautious replies and implied doubts about trust and truth. The scene hints at secrets and personal stakes behind the questioning dialogue.
The orderly room scene ends with a colonel sentencing "Ten days C. B." and then "one hundred sixty eight hours" as the delinquent Tommy mutters defiance. The private questions the colonel, while the hogshire light infantry joke and the text veers into quack medical cures for sore throats.
A man at the gate motions for calm and explains a young visitor has courted his daughter for six years. He fears startling the timid suitor tonight and says they are taking precautions as a proposal looms beyond the straw scattered on the roadway.
A bitterly cold night frames a scene with a shivering outcast pleading for relief while a comfortably clad man named Hoggenheimer dismisses requests for money and a bed. The dialogue reveals stark social disparity as the beggar seeks shelter.
A humorous exchange features a little boy asking about the crowd of women and a girl explaining they have been upstairs to pee the baby and that this new baby may attract attention as the latest fashion news.
In a scene from Olivette Cecil pledges to face danger for her, insisting the bulldog is not yet dead. The pair push onward as the dog remains a looming threat.
A poetic meditation on sunlit seas and ships beyond earth's horizon. The speaker urges companionship to a wandering life, celebrating tides, dawns, and a shared home and altar in the sea. Attributed to L. W. Smith in Success Magazine.
A vivid, if humorous, exchange shows a druggist cautioning about microbes on bills while a clerk quips about the clerk's salary. The dialogue highlights distrust of disease transmission and office wit from a faded, worn scene.
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