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This newspaper page contains 8 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Hamburg Reporter
Location
Hamburg, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Jun 25, 1909
Page
8
A satirical tale contrasts a greenhorn sailor with a captain over a big contract and misinterpreted vegetables. It ends with the sailor joking about a future workload as he jokes about the ship and its crew. A separate note praises Defiance Starch for laundry efficiency and fabric stiffness.
A joke recounts an absent minded professor who rings his doorbell, learns from a maid that the professor is not in, and quietly replies that he will call again, then hobbles down the steps.
A dramatic quarrel over an engagement ends with Arn earnest warning of suicide and the manager offering to listen to her recital. He then draws a revolver from a desk drawer, revealing a tense confrontation.
Richard Glyn, a young midshipman, falls for Lady Arabella Stormont amid a web of duels and schemes. Giles Vernon schemes to run away with Daphne Carmichael as Sir Peter Hawkshaw plots to keep his wards safe.
An examination of the Royal Yacht Squadron reveals a plutocratic barrier where wealth cannot easily grant access. Candidates must own two yachts and endure a selective ballot, with social gatekeeping and discreet qualifications beyond money shaping who enters this revered circle.
Four year old Fred visits his uncle on the farm and recalls chasing geese and a big goose dinner. His father tests plural understanding with four goose versus geese and Fred answers with a playful mispronunciation. The joke hinges on the singular goose versus plural geese form.
An Irishman and a Scotchman argue about living in a prohibition state. The Tishman quips that a camel can go eight days without drink, while the other replies that no one could go eight hours without a drop, ending the discussion.
A playful exchange features a suitor attempting a wordy appeal to a typewriter already claimed by another. The humorous banter centers on the notion of an inanimate object as the object of affection and engagement.
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