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This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Greeley Tribune
Location
Greeley, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Oct 24, 1912
Page
15
In a satirical London Answers column a fictional South American president Caspar the three hundred and second orders new uniforms after summoning an artist. Sketches show rainbow colors, with green coats, crimson vests, orange trousers, and bright plumes. The secret police uniform is revealed with yellow dress and purple trim.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer anecdote recounts a visitor from Boston and a local guide at a ball game. The local notes a curved pitch while the Bostonian calls it sinusoidal. They depart after six innings with the home team trailing badly.
A North side lumber dealer agreed to supply lumber to a stranger but found it full of knotholes and warned the buyer. The stranger laughed and bought it anyway saying the holes won’t matter at baseball grounds. He adds he was a kid once.
A state senator is pressed by a committee about road promises. He answers that airships are becoming common, so they should wait a few years, fearing roads may become unnecessary. The exchange ends with a remark on corn and weather.
In a brief dialogue, Mrs Uptown notes living conditions improved while Mrs Downtown confirms her long stay on the street they left. The exchange highlights neighborhood pride as residents compare life quality across areas.
A humorous dialogue features a new worker at an antique furniture factory. He explains his role by joking that he “1 Rick the new tables,” tests durability, and subjects each table to a century of wear in eight hours, highlighting the paradox of rapid production.
In Kansas City Star story Julia, a Sunday school pupil, tears up as she confesses giving fifty cents to a back door visitor she believed might be God. Her mother questions the act after discovering the missing coin.
Verena, Uncle Elijah napkin, Mr Plimmins manicure, Mr Spooner tight shoes, Mrs Chucksley boys, Bobby face, Clarence beard. Dialog hints at household idiosyncrasies and social chatter in a domestic scene.
A New York State farmer sought dental help in an upstate city for an ulcerated tooth. The dentist suggested nitrous gas, promising quick relief and minimal pain for a small extra cost. After consenting, the patient planned to count his money before paying, revealing his humor about payment.
A tramp sought food at a back door and claimed a steady job offer from a man in a large white house nearby. The work demanded starting at 4 AM to milk 17 cows, feed and rub down four horses, clean stables, and chop wood until the day began. payment was not discussed.
A girl asks how to tell a yacht from a sailboat and Captain Cleet answers with a humorous line about pantry provisions. If the vessel carries plenty of refreshments and cigars it’s a yacht. if it holds mostly plain victuals it’s a sailboat.
A satirical note explains how Willie-Pa, Mr. Jones, Mr. Smith, and Mr. Robinson riff on the "H. P." of autos. Jones reads it as high priced, Smith as hit people, and Robinson as half paid for, illustrating varied slang interpretations.
Progress in the dialogue as Senator Sorghum concedes that his repeated explanations of free trade and protection have brought him to a personal, growing understanding of the topic. The exchange underscores the teachable moment in the legislative session.
Consul Henry D. Baker reports on Macquarie Island as a promising penguin oil site leased by Joseph Hatch. About 80 million penguins exist, with oil produced by boiling carcasses in 800-bird digesters. Oil sold to binder twine makers in Australia and New Zealand amid shipping dangers and lack of harbor.
A reflective excerpt critiques gilded wealth and fashionable living as empty markers of status. It contrasts luxurious displays, grand houses, and European trappings with a cobbler's daughter’s humble origins, arguing true society should align with American egalitarian ideals rather than borrowed aristocracy. The passage warns against pretentious social performances and foreshadows a republic’s moral testing.
A letter from the Congo coast describes monkeys abducted by natives using beer to intoxicate them. Monkeys cling to humans as the scene unfolds, allowing a single bearer to carry off multiple animals in a chain. The beer is given in decreasing amounts to delay full awareness of their predicament.
A French newspaper notes stock exchange members singing God save the king. Punch calls it a total misrepresentation of national aspirations and voices protest against the display.
Lucinda notes the humorous chaos of straw hats in drizzle. Men hurry for shelter or improvise clever rain protection using doors, coats, or newspapers. The scene shifts to a Broadway-wrapped hat carried dryly, while others endure soggy crowns.
A large man boarded a Manhattan uptown subway car and dozed between two women. He leaned his head toward one passenger, who then discreetly produced a silver vinaigrette and masked the sleep with a whiff. The sneeze woke him, the car erupted in laughter, and the woman calmly read on.
A Chestnut street house furnishing shop window displayed bathroom items including a bathtub and a portable shower marked Complete ten dollars. A seedy man paid and took the shower on delivery. The next day a girl asked where the bathtub was after the shop had delivered and later reclaimed the ten dollars, returning it without comment.
A German inventor introduces a foot operated air pump to supply pressurized air to a wind instrument via a tube to the player's mouth. The device aims to reduce fatigue and allow continuous tones, enabling breath control without interrupting the musical flow.
Bangor Maine obituary recalls Reddy the lumber camp bear of Reddington who grew from a pampered helper to a famed Maine mascot. He learned tricks and dances under Peter St Pierre before a Christmas whisky binge led to drunken wandering and a fatal train strike near Ambajejus House.
EF Fuller, a Hartford tobacco importer, writes to a Bremerton realty firm seeking information on a 1600 acre Western ranch he claims lies at the bottom of the bay between Fort Orchard and Bremerton. Investigation shows the “farm” is underwater, guarded by Pacific reserve fleet anchored about ten fathoms deep. Fuller seeks value and potential buyers. no purchaser found yet.
Mrs Elizabeth Lewin of Graylock avenue Belleville New Jersey reported a theft after discovering her two strongboxes with 49 diamonds and other jewelry vanished from a closet inside her fortified home. The crime stunned her as she had guarded the valuables with iron doors bulldogs and double locked boxes. Police investigate amid claims of a ghostly presence and no signs of forced entry.
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