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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Greeley Daily Tribune
Location
Greeley, Colorado, United States of America
Date
Nov 03, 1908
Page
4
A collage of humorous anecdotes and brief sketches. It includes a tale of John Simmons seeking whisky for his secret fishing cork, reflections on war and peace, stories of razorback hogs, and quips from actors and gentlemen. Notable names appear in anecdotes about Macdonald, Throckmorton, Dickens, and Frederick the Great.
In a heated House dispute over filibustering James G Blaine faced a sharp taunt from a fellow member. The enraged remark about supper in hell met Blaine's cool reply inviting the challenger to Democratic headquarters in Maine.
An optimistic hunter and a companion got lost in Maine while on a hunting trip. Night fell and they had no food. One man spoke with a straight face about ham and eggs if they only had ham and eggs.
Hilary Harkness, a persistent office seeker described as the lowest type, died manfully with long hours spent chasing a $5 000 office. His widow and daughter ran a candy shop to support him, and the town editor offered a witty epitaph: Here is Hilary Harkness, in the only place for which he never applied.
In a tale from the Memoirs of the Earl of Nugent Goldsmith uses playful nicknames to critique a poor actor. Nugent and Goldsmith discuss a performer labeled Goose for goose like waddle and Bellows for loud passion, Bull for strong voice, and Frog for croaking delivery, noting the actor remains good despite the ribbing.
A woman describes saving for England and buying gypsy wagons with bunks a kitchen and sitting room to roam the country sleeping outdoors or in the wagon while artists and friends pursue a nomadic life. A separate note by Albert White Vorse discusses ballooning and the thrill of cloud views vs earth below.
Gideon Lane offers a well gaited horse from his livery stable to a summer resident. He claims the mare is safe for family use and can carry children without misbehavior. The buyer seeks a spirited horse, but Lane insists the animal is reliably calm yet responsive enough for a lively day.
A Jewish writer Jacob E Ehrlich discusses the number thirteen citing religious associations including the thirteen attributes of the Most High and thirteen feast days. He notes Haman’s execution on the thirteenth of Ab and mentions priestly milestones tied to thirteen in the community.
A London Sketch dialogue shows an old golf professional telling Jones he has started late and overindulged. He urges hard practice for two to three years to perhaps glimpse mastery, while warning Jones may never fully grasp the rudiments of the game.
A visitor asks for Mike Clancy at the quarry after a premature blast. Costigan says Clancy is gone, and the visitor notes he went in a certain direction.
A guest heckles a waiter asking how long he’s been employed. The reply reveals the waiter has worked there about four weeks. The guest retorts that this implies the order was given to another waiter.
A terse ancient observation notes the difficulty of finding a man without flaws as being like a fish without a backbone. The saying underscores steadfast character and resilience.
An anecdote from a Chicago Record-Herald clipping shows a black farmer, unable to read or write and with no money for a year, gleefully singing a ditty about an impossible balance sheet then pockets the note and walks away content, whistling at his penniless state.
A heated exchange erupts on a public transport vehicle as a mother defends her infant while a man in a gray suit mocks the baby’s cries. The gray suited man bolts while the mother calls him an ugly gorilla and a beauty-show fraud, revealing sharp street confrontations in London.
The article notes that surf birds from Hawaii, a paradise of the Pacific, normally rear their young in Alaska’s tundra. It explains that the turnstone, the black bellied plover, and the Pacific golden plover undertake a yearly migration of about 4,000 miles to Alaska.
The City of Greeley lies miles north of Denver and about forty miles from the Rocky Mountains. The description notes its location at the feet of the mountains and references general information about the city.
The piece extols a Weld County county seat as an irrigated boom town with fine churches, shaded streets, miles of concrete sidewalks, and vast industries. It highlights sugar beet, vegetable canning, potato starch, and railroads, noting a prosperous civic life with daily newspapers and a thriving commercial district valued around 8380 00.
Minutes describe annual secretary duties and monthly meeting dates on Fridays and Tuesdays. Names appear as officers and clerks with periodic openings for attenders and vote reminders. The text lists various roles and dates associated with the organization’s archival record.
Entertainment schedule lists Colorado and Seether performing in Greeley with tickets around $100. Showtime is 6:00 pm at the venue, located near Denver. The listing mentions a Paige Atollines event and notes TM and Post coverage.
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