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Newspaper
Graettinger Times
Location
Graettinger, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Oct 20, 1904
Page
4
A collage of contrived quotes and anecdotes from late 19th century publicity, including taunts toward Secretary of War Ragt, testimonials for Dodd's Kidney Pills, a wagging remark about a senator and a humorous exchange involving Benvenuto Cellini. The piece also notes a Russian state church report detailing church counts, ranks, and funding, concluding with a literary citation.
An advertisement extols Grape Nuts as the best nourishment for rebuilding strength after typhoid fever and bowel trouble. It features user testimony claiming rapid recovery, renewed energy, and the ability to perform housework and sleep well. The copy asserts the product provides pre digested starches and notes a claim about digestion being accomplished by grape sugar.
The brig engages a rival with bow guns as Ben Martin eyes a distant foremast hit. Ashore in Lean Taland Laroon meets a hospital, plans for men and plunder, and a one eyed patient named Puffa Burningtoo joins the crew. Burnington arrives and ties with the crew as tension and intrigue rise aboard the ship.
A Germain conductor on a Thied avenue car encounters a noisy crowd approaching Grand Street. A Swede, an Italian, a Ching man, and an Irishman dispute fare, loudly mispronouncing English as the crowd reels toward the stop. The conductor remarks on vocal ignorance before the Times notes.
A garbled, oblique excerpt cites Lun tyrant and biaquent amid scattered names like Damocter and Rivera. Mrs. Des moelos sharpens her panel with a razor as a baffling scene unfolds, described in a stream of fractured phrases from the New York Tribune.
The text discusses Jesus the Prophet and the danger of missing spiritual insight. It centers on Naaman’s faith and pride, the widow of Zarephath, and the failure of Israelites to perceive God’s works. The oblique narrative connects Luke’s gospel themes with Old Testament examples, highlighting belief, humility, and divine mercy despite human misunderstanding.
In the winter of 1903 a young woman suffered four months without normal feminine functions. Weakness, headaches, and despondency followed. A physician failed to cure her until she tried Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People, restoring health by May. The ad promotes these pills for women and offers a free booklet.
An assemblage of notes on canals from Suez to Corinth and Cronstadt, comparing lengths and routes, followed by an advertisement for Doan’s Kidney Pills claiming curing kidney trouble and backache with a testimonial from Captain S. Dy Winter of Pittsburgh. The piece blends travel lore with a medical pitch and local business references.
The dialogue centers on a daughter reading a controversial novel described as advanced, with mentions of heroines marrying for money and politics. The exchange contrasts societal and sensational themes, hinting at a heroine entangled in a political marriage plot rather than conventional romance.
An odd dialogue fragment shows a business woman debating with a partner about identifying gentlemen and addresses. The lines mention Miles Lackbay and Nat Baskbay with a sense of secrecy and a plan to assemble envelopes and mirrors, ending with a cryptic annual name figure 687,148.
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