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This newspaper page contains 31 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Garland Globe
Location
Garland, Utah, United States of America
Date
May 18, 1907
Page
5
A jumble of comic quips and old-time advice fills a column with jokes about wives being tendered by misused methods, smokers at social events, counterfeit notes, grand juries, bonnet purchases, and a night scene of cats and dogs near a shed.
A breezy portrait of a boastful man and his inflated persona appears in a Brooklyn Eagle feature. The tone skewers self aggrandizement with humor and local voice.
A Washington Star snippet depicts a bustling family scene with a father back to riding a wheel, a mother purchasing a new car, and children rollerskating, illustrating lively domestic activity and public interest in contemporary trends.
Senator Sorghum notes the public loves a speaker who risks saying something bold. He cites the sporting instinct of Americans and suggests listeners anticipate consequences of bold rhetoric.
A quotation from Washington Star recounts a humorous exchange where one speaker says another’s use of long words kept him from understanding his accusation. The tale emphasizes roundabout phrasing and embarrassment in telling the event.
The Zulu leader Yeast Dinizulu entertains guests using a graphophone and plays a built English organ himself. The piece notes a decline in missionaries as a related cultural observation.
In Dreamland a reporter asks how it feels to be counted out. The defeated pugilist responds he was a billion miles away, implying detachment from the moment. The Chicago Tribune frames the remark as a wry aside about distraction and focus.
In a brief exchange quoted from the Chicago Daily News a veteran bachelor jokes about his wife’s weight, while a rival suitor retorts that she weighs nothing. The quip underlines social teasing and banter in a lighthearted context.
Yonkers Stateswan reports Patrice notes her husband continues daily soup intake. He remains active but not as she recalls.
A humorous note from the Chicago Journal contrasts proverbs about will power with a quip about marriage stating that a husband says a will may be blocked by a refusal.
A Greenwich man tells of a Connecticut farmer who drove a jet of hogs to Greenwich and sold them for the amount offered before he left home. The farmer remarks that it did not make money, but he kept the company of the hogs on the trip.
Molly asks how to reform him and Dolly suggests marrying him. Molly reacts with shock at the proposed heroic remedy.
A fragmented snippet mentions May Redivivun and Mary with a child's tale tone. It refers to Mary wearing buns and making sandwiches from them, hinting at a surreal or playful narration about everyday objects and objects tied to a railroad context as a quirky aside.
The exchange features Mrs. Torkins noting Charley’s likely inability to count winnings from a track bet. The Wallace Star quotes the discussion as light anecdote about gambling, wealth, and arithmetic.
A candid friend notes shifting phrases as critics target your paralamony. The reply dismisses the critique and outlines a plan to become rich like magnates, hoping magazine writers will praise frugality once wealth is achieved.
Not Lucky features dialogue snippets where characters tease a brother about luck and a rae bit's foot while a Yonkers official voice chimes in with a counter remark about bare lips.
Col Howze directs a new senior class club at West Point to foster self-reliance and mature conduct after graduation. The first class may use a dedicated room for reading writing and recreation during study hours with a board of cadet governors regulating rules.
The Jamestown exposition in Hampton Roads features permanent state buildings funded by many states including Virginia with $500400 and New York $150000. Its main structures include a 160 by 296 foot auditorium, a palace of manufactures, a palace of machinery, and a seven building Arte and Craft Village. A flagship water area with two government piers and a cross pier supports aquatic sports and a 1864 Merrimac Monitor replica. The event runs until November 30.
In a brief Harpers Weekly moment Hobby asks his father if the world is truly round and whether it can ever end, prompting a thoughtful exchange about geography and fate. The exchange captures a child’s curiosity and a father’s patient reflection.
A family dispute escalates as a parental kick halts an attempted elopement involving a girl and family friend. An elderly relative questions the progress noting the suitor’s involvement and intent. Authorities or witnesses quoted in the Baltimore American provide the terse account.
The English Way and Beacon Railway servants in England are stated to receive 1.5 million dollars annually in tips. Egbert and Yonkera Slateaman note some funds go to attendants to supervise your owl trunk as per the report.
Quote from judge about avoiding sea sickness by canceling sailing dates. The remark highlights a practical tip about maritime travel with a humorous sting. It frames travel advice as a legal quip, implying frustration with schedule changes.
A review of baseball nicknames across the American League highlights how fans know stars by handles such as Nap, Sully, Wild Big, and Curveloas Wonder. The piece lists players from Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, New York, Cleveland, Philadelphia, and Washington with their popular epithets and occasional origins.
Baxter competes with Jake Beckley for St. Louis at bat while Cleveland gains Liebhardt as a pitching addition. Detroit’s Charlie O Leary bats eighth with limited success. Cleaveland’s Wells Clark and Wakefield provide strong hitting support. Jacobsen shows improved pitching though winless. McGuire builds a flour mill at Albion ready to start. New York Americans have yet to play a National League club. Cincinnati releases pitcher Jack Kennedy to Louisville. Philadelphia recruit John O Connor suffers brain congestion after a head injury during a bunt attempt. Cy Young bets he will win more than half his starts this year and better the club’s winning percentage.
A fragment reflecting on good breeding as a blend of sense, nature, and self-denial for the sake of others. It compares manners to morals, noting civility rules that enforce good conduct and curb bad behavior, citing Chesterfield as authority.
A well dressed man known as the Father of the Poor distributes 100 bowls of soup each morning near the Halles in Paris. He tastes the first bowl himself, then departs in a fast motor car, leaving grateful poor people in his wake.
The Philadelphia Ledger reports J. G. Simpson, an alleged bookmaker, begged Lieut Wheeler to return a horse chestnut he used as a token. Released for lack of evidence, Simpson cried to reclaim the nut, saying he could not race without it. He appeared more glad to get the chestnut back than to be discharged.
A fashion feature highlights women’s apparel that blends with spring blooms and budding trees. The piece notes coordinated outfits echoing seasonal colors, with suggestions for fabrics and accessories to match the outdoorsy, festive mood.
A god-faced man questions a heavyset bachelor smoking and reading a newspaper about letting his son smoke, drink, or face temptation. The bachelor replies he has never considered these issues, revealing he has been a confirmed bachelor for twenty years.
Cowper Thornhill of Huntingdonshire England rode 213 miles in 12 hours 17 minutes on April 25 1745 to win a wager of 500 guineas.
A discussion of Germany being governed by one emperor, four kings, six grand dukes, seven princes and a count. Each sovereign holds varying levels of power and privileges, maintains a capital and court, with capitals ranging from small to substantial cities.
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