Fragmented quotes and an early 20th century ad jumble
The text provides a mix of conversational quips about dancing and social cues, plus an advertisement for Cuticura soap claiming skin health benefits and multipurpose use. It reads like a collage of jokes and a brand pitch from an era.
Unique Specimens Prose Quip From A Cemetery Satire
A Kansas City Star quotation features Professor Pate claiming the only thing that walks from the tomb is a mourner who won t be buried and Festus Pester adds that only thing returning from the cemetery giggles and escapes is the widower who plans to remarry, in a wry joke.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pate
Festus Pester
Kansas City Star
Not Responsible for Wearing Apears or pacages Sign
Diners in a city restaurant enjoy a bold warning sign behind the counter reading Not responsible for Wearing Apears or pacages. An unrelated medical line promotes Wrights Indian Vegetable Pills claiming to restore regularity without griping.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Wright
Irish American Front Window Flowers Reach Across War Divide
Mrs Flannigan proudly displayed geraniums in green crepe paper while her neighbor showed red white and blue paper for her France stationed son. Facing dual loyalties she ultimately kept a united display as green ribbons bound each pot.
Folding chair fiasco turns classroom comedy
A lecturer recounts a humorous mishap as a folding chair collapses sending him toppled over the desk during a Shakespeare life talk to juniors. Pupils check he is uninjured before laughing at the awkward moment.
Dew's Vitalizing Effect on Grass and Air
The piece argues dew carries oxygen and forms oxides during creation, giving dew a refreshing quality in early morning air. It notes grass under full leaf trees struggles due to lack of dew formation, not soil nutrition or shade alone, suggesting dew is blocked by the tree canopy.
Unexplored Libya Proclaimed As Italian Provinces
Italian Libya now comprises Tripolitana and Cirenaica along the northern African coast between Tunis and Egypt. The northern edge sits near 35 degrees north while the southern reaches into the unmapped Sahara.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Libya
Tripolitana
Cirenaica
Africa
Tunis
Egypt
Indiana Primary Returns Show Wood Narrowly Ahead In GOP
Indiana voters favored Leonard Wood over Hiram Johnson by 6107 in GOP presidential preference ballots across 3387 precincts. Local notes report Elkhart population growth, high school oratorical winner Miss Norvilla DeHaven, and farming leaders planning a May Indianapolis meeting for uniform county policies.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Leonard Wood
Hiram W. Johnson
Frank O. Lowden
Warren G. Harding
Indiana
Wood
Johnson
John G. Brown
Monon
Indiana Federation of Farmers’ Associations
Indianapolis
Purdue University
Archibald Armstrong
Jesse McCord
Newcastle
Ralph W. Yost
Sherig
Hamilton
Ontario
Hall's Catarrh Medicine Promises Deafness Cure
An old circular claims catarrh causes deafness by inflaming the Eustachian tube and promises a $100 reward for any case of catarrhal deafness not cured by Hall's Catarrh Medicine. It advertises the product and free circulars from F. J. Cheney & Co. of Toledo Ohio.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hall
F. J. Cheney & Co
Toledo
Ohio
Wild beasts kill about fifty in India as govt offers rewards
The piece notes that in India wild animals claim about 50 lives daily and that authorities pay standing rewards for killing the dangerous beasts. It says sanctuaries are impenetrable and efforts can only curb their numbers in crowded areas. The ad then pivots to an eye remedy and a humorous dialogue between Mother Elsie and a child.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
India
Diamond Dyes Offers Simple At Home Color Solutions
An advertisement touts Diamond Dyes as easy to use for wool silk linen cotton and blends with a color card available from a druggist. It promises fadeless rich results even for first timers and urges buying only Diamond Dyes for guaranteed outcomes. A parallel quotation features a prisoner's remark about escape from stone walls and iron bars.
The Verdict on a Mother and Son in Music Honors
A courtroom joke surfaces as a mother asks if her son is ripe for musical honors. The judge replies with a sharp quip, “Ripe? No, sir, he’s rotten.” The exchange highlights courtroom wit in a light moment.
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