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Newspaper
Freeport Republican
Location
Freeport, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jan 21, 1882
Page
3
A fragment from Br T c Hodge presents an amusing collage of historical instruments and characters. The text riffs on performers and dramatic stage props including harps, lutes, pianos, violins, and fans, weaving playful misreadings and obsolete spellings into a chaotic comic scene.
A narrator recalls summer hospitality in the country and the rude intrusion of a burglar seeking warmth in a stormy night. After a comic chase with boots left in the vestibule, a desperate, honest thief is caught by a patrol and later remanded, revealing the burglar’s stubborn return for shelter and a half crown.
Dr Hunter reports on a remote Indian tribe called the Teaf Wearers who dressed in Adam and Eve garb until a British officer in 1871 divested them with cotton. They burned their leaves clothing, showed no metals, and lived in tiny huts with males sharing a communal youth house.
Lord Houghton cites Sydney Smith's Yorkshire anecdote where a squire named Kershaw bets a guinea on mishearing a sermon. Smith teases the crowd by sneezing Kershaw in various tones, provoking unintended laughter from the squire and scandalizing the congregation during the sermon.
A New Year disaster reports the Atlantic express south of Spuyten Duyvil Creek wrecked after a rear Idlewild car collided with the Empire. Nine dead, at least three burned, including State Senator John A. Jacobs and Assemblyman Alfred C. Chapin, with other injured and dramatic rescues amid a raging blaze.
A satirical essay condemns the eavesdropper as a contemptible sneaks who pry into private talk. It ridicules their sneaky gait and suggests two ways to remove them, including physical removal. The piece also notes Hex Stevnen's seed germination findings on light and darkness for certain weeds, and ends with a village joke about a barber and butcher and a shared patron.
Villagers in Kingsbridge and Bouyten Duyvil fought a blaze that claimed multiple lives. Firefighting crews pulled bodies from the wrecked car and burning structures as authorities work to identify the dead including a portly woman and a newlywed couple Perk Falenting and Louise Gaylord who perished on a wedding trip.
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