Amusing Funeral Sermon Mistakes Exhibit Town Feud In Jest
A Western town newspaper reprint mocks a funeral oration for a prominent citizen whose chequered career included roles as pioneer preacher mayor and deputy sheriff. The original sermon and the corrected version swapping many words expose the town’s sectarian tensions and a senate impeachment remark.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Shim
N. Y. Sun
Will and testament of Tim oDoolan from Ballydownderry
A 19th century will by Timothy Doolan of Ballydownderry bequeaths land to his eldest son Tim and shares to his daughter Mary and her husband Paddy O Regan. He allocates goodwill to Teddy’s widow and others and wishes burial near his parents in Ballydownderry chapel with thoughts on the afterlife.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Trishman
Timothy Doolan
Ballydownderry
Ballydownderry Chapel
Tim
Mary
Paddy O’regan
Teddy
Amerika
Peter Rafferty
Sparkling Diamond Gift Unveils Its Price
A blush and a proposal frame a scene where a maid accepts a diamond from Tom. He presents a receipted bill proving payment, satisfying curiosity about the stone’s cost and completing the flirtatious exchange.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Tom
Lack of Preath. Enduring Poverty After War For City Life
An old plantation mam moved to the city after the war and shared a room with three other families. She fell ill and a doctor diagnosed typhoid fever, but she quipped that the real cause was the lack of breath.
Court Calls For Clear Points In Case Dispute
In a Philadelphia North American item the court urges the two lawyers to focus on the disputed points of the case. The exchange features sharp insults from the lawyers with the court prompting practical analysis.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Philadelphia
The Milk in the Coconut A Comedy of Everyday Life
A short dialogue sketch where Smart man and Ordinary man meet after a long time. They reminisce about life and war talk, then Smart man pleads for ten dollars to last until Saturday. Ordinary man reluctantly agrees, then Smart man impulsively pushes for more money.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cuba
Philippines
Witty Replies By Women In History And Literature
A collection of playful and pointed retorts by Lydia Maria Child Rachel Harriet Martineau and others. The piece recalls sharp wits on marriage wealth public duty and fate with brief anecdotes and quotes from Victorian era figures.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lydia Maria Child
Croesus
Lydia
Rachel
Saturday Evening Post
Mademoiselle
Harriet Martine
Lndy
Earth
Lellam
Mise Martineau
Bedam
Practical Kitchen Workshop Ideas For Households
The article argues that most kitchens are limited by space and funds, offering low cost improvements. It suggests filling floor cracks with a flour water alum paste, installing a two top kitchen table with hinged kneading board, and using adjacent spaces like a back room or shed for storage to reduce walking and streamline cooking.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Haga
Clever kitchen closet hidden in plain sight
A novel closet under the stairs and integrated with a kneading board top creates hidden storage in a kitchen. Soapstone tubs can be covered with fitted boards and curtains, while shelves and cupboards on windowside walls hold blueing starch soap flour and other laundering and cooking necessities.
Not True in This Casey
A fragmentary note quotes a local speaker arguing against a stereotype about women. The remark is presented as part of a broader discussion in the page text.
Farmer Time Is Money Says Walling Time Worn
In a Washington Star excerpt a farmer dismisses poetry about his life noting that his days are taken by raising pigs and pumpkins for county fairs and preparing political platforms and new machinery. He says time is money and he has little time for literature.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Washington Star
The Old Man’s Occupation
The Old Man explains his daily work keeps him busy from daylight to dark supporting Jim the lawyer Bill the preacher Tom the liter ary man and Dick the doctor in a quirky reflection on his role in a town.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jim
Tom
Rule That Works Both Ways
The vegetarian notes that beef makes a man ox like, mutton makes him sheepish, and pork leads to envy. The turtlefed Alderman counters that a diet of vegetables tends to produce pretty small potatoes. Chicago News.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago News
Children burn edges of fog to make a new flag
A group of children lights matches and burns the edges of a small fog while one child holds it. A passing young woman asks what they are doing and the kids reply they are making a new flag, showing their patriotic spirit.
Small Philosopher Teases Baby With Worldly Wisdom
A toddler quotes a childlike philosopher who tells a baby in a crib that life is hard and it will take many tries before anyone notices. The mother remains unaware as the scene unfolds with gentle humor and pathos.
Suburb Bond Sparks A Personal Stand Over Wheel Want
A dialogue fragment shows a character pressed for a luxury purchase a wheel. The other character questions the value of previous world changing promises and dismisses a suburban lot as insufficient. The exchange hints at strained priorities and power dynamics within a domestic setting.
Family dialogue with playful prayer request
The passage presents a domestic exchange where one person urges another to share prayers with a sister. The sister jokes about asking the Lord to take care of himself lest everyone fall to pieces, reflecting light humor in everyday speech.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mamma
Papa
Dewey Relates Old Privateer Tale At Manila Dinner
Admiral Dewey tells Chichester a Vermont privateer story from the 1812 war to illustrate that excessive confidence can mislead in war. The tale centers on a barkentine named New Jerusalem catching a line of battle ship by windward surprise. Dewey ends with a toast to good health and prudent caution.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Manila
von Diedericks
Chichester
Dewey
Vermont
Eountry
New Jerusalem
Tropics
Poetry and Prose on the Porch Inquires About Ice and Coal
A humorous Chicago News quip has Mr. and Mrs. Pondering debating celestial wonders yet fret over dinner logistics. He muses on the vast universe as she jests about ice, beefsteak spoilage, and tomorrow’s mackerel and coal orders.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pondering
Mrs. Pondering
Chicago News
Merchant seeks punishment for thief who overprices goods
A Chicago Tribune excerpt shows a magistrate questioning a merchant who admits ownership of stolen goods. The merchant expresses indifference to the loss while insisting the thief be punished, arguing the theft was foolish since the items could have been bought cheaper.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago ‘Tribune
Alcohol Lamps Replacing Wax Candles in Silver Desk Set
Delicate cut glass alcohol lamps with silver tops replace wax candles for heating sealing wax at the writing table. The dainty, clean lamps are easily snuffed and sold as matching sets with inkstand, bristle penwiper, and mucilage bottles, a pretty change from solid silver.
Fifty-Dollar Class Poet Hits the Edge of Irony
A writer marks poems at fifty dollars each and earns no repeat buyers until an editor pays the first fifty despite the joke. The editor later floods publishers with ten pieces priced at five pounds, proving the arithmetic of the fifty-dollar class and the enduring satire of value.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Herary
Javen
Two Marketing Lessons and a Pet Monkey Burial
An excerpt discusses pricing strategy and brand superiority, arguing public choice favors the better article. Chamberlains Cough Remedy is cited as trusted for coughs and colds. A Baltimore pet monkey received a formal burial with pallbearers and floral tributes, including an empty chair and gates ajar.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Baltimore
Pain Balm Relief for Chest Pain and Lame Back
A cold accompanied by chest pain signals possible pneumonia. Apply Chamberlain's Pain Balm on the chest with damp flannel to relieve pain and avert pneumonia. The same method also cures a lame back in a few hours. Sold by Emmert & Burrell.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chamberlain
Emmert & Burrell
U S cows produce butter yield figures
Estimated 11 million dairy cows in the United States yield about 125 pounds of butter per year each. Total butter output around 1.875 billion pounds, averaging roughly 18 pounds per person in the country.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
United States
Seraapidic patchwork ad leads to mixed health and debt notes
An assortment of old ads and statistics claim Foley honey and tar relieves throat and chest soreness with a guaranteed claim. A government debt figure tallies $855,000,000 paid off by Iughind over ten years, ranking third among debtor nations behind France and Russia. Banner Salve touts healing for chapped hands and rough skin. A medical forecast predicts New York State death tolls may futurely exceed cancer deaths if current rates persist.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Iughind
France
Russia
New York
Voice Restored by Fo ley's Honey and Tar
Benj Ingerson of Hutton Indiana says he had not spoken above a whisper for months until Ley’s Honey and Tar restored his voice. It is widely used by speakers and singers. A favorite Eskimo dish mixes ice cream from seal oil with snow and frozen berries and a touch of fish egg for flavor.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Benj. Ingerson
Hutton
Ind
Foley
HH. J. Moogh
W. F. Jungkunz
Congregation disturbance caller urged to obtain Foley remedy
A note asks the person who coughed during Sunday service to contact H J Moogh or W F Jungkunz & Co to receive Foley's Honey and Tar. The product is claimed to provide relief.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
H. J. Moogh
W. FF. Jungkunz & Co
Foley
Homeseekers' Excursion Tickets Offered on Select Tuesdays
The Chicago Great Western Railway announces homeseekers excursion tickets to be sold on Tuesdays November 21 December 5 and 19. For information contact F. H. Lord G P T A Chicago or A G Fitz agent Brewster House. 1-15dt1 5.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago, Great Western Railway
F. H. Lord
Chicago
A. G. Fitz
Agt
Brewster House
Dodd's Dyspepsia Tablets Promise Stronger Health
An ad extols Dodd's Dyspepsia Tablets as a cure for dyspepsia indigestion biliousness and other stomach ailments. It claims tablets improve digestion energy and mental clarity after meals and cites Dr R B Strong praising the remedy as highly efficacious from a council of leading physicians.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dodd
R. B. Strong
New York City
American Journal of Health
Florida Bound Double Daily Fast Trains Via Southern Railway
Southern Railway offers winter excursion service to Florida with double daily trains from Cincinnati and Louisville, through sleeping cars to Jacksonville, and connections via Queen and Crescent and Plant systems. Kansas City to Jacksonville limited in 38 hours, and through tickets available with maps and schedules mailed free by agents in Louisville and Washington.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Southern Railway
Southern Resorts
Cincinnati
Louisville
Chattanooga
Jesup
Plant System
Jacksonville
Knoxville
Asherville
Savannah
North Carolina
St. Louis
L. E. & St. L. Railroad
Air Line
Kansas City
Birmingham
Atlanta
Plant
THE
Florida
Midland Route Tourist Car service resumes Chicago to San Francisco
The C M and St P Ry resumes the Midland Route Tourist Car with a Friday 10 35 p m departure from Chicago and a sequence via Omaha Colorado Springs Salt Lake City and arrive San Francisco the following Wednesday 9 45 p m Eastbound service leaves San Francisco Saturdays at 8 a m and arrives Chicago Wednesday 8 25 a m G H Hearrorp GP and TA
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
C. M
St. P. Ry
Midland
Chicago
San Francisco
St. P
Omaha
Colorado Springs
Madison Line Passenger and Freight Train Schedule Notes
The excerpt lists daily train operations with multiple lines. It notes trains to Madison and Dodgeville with daily service except Sundays, and freight trains that do not carry passengers. It specifies schedule times for various trains arriving and departing Madison and Fresport, and references westbound trains from Chicago with freight-only services.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Madison
Passuwoma
Madisonisisiss Osei
Kewwas
Freeport
Elkhorninectisscee
Chicago
Rockford
Janesville
Hilwaukee
Ato
Makea Eleaa
Racine
Ilwaukee
Ivea
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Preath
Womert
Small Philosopher
Banner
H.d. Moogh
W. F. Jungkunz & Co
VIA
J.C. Beam, Jr
Adams St
Chicago, I
A. Barry
Ouisville, Ky
W. A.tors
Washington, D.C
H. Taylor
Louisville, Ky
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Bveck
Rock Island
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Kan
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Tcket
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