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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Freeport Daily Journal
Location
Freeport, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Apr 17, 1900
Page
7
A collage of light humor and dialogue from early 20th century papers. Jests on mind over matter, mistaken fights, alimony dialogue, comic misunderstandings, and a pocketbook twist, featuring voices like Washington Star Ohio State Journal Puck and Chicago Tribune.
A Black migrant to Boston in the past faces poverty and rejection until a front-door bell reveals kindness in unexpected form, as a white householder directs him to the kitchen then the narrator proclaims finding his own white folks at last in a moment of gratitude.
In a rural exchange Uncle Silas laments the fading day. Aunt Serena questions the sentiment as Silas reflects on Abner's geology noting that each day brings humanity closer to a future when the sun cools and earth freezes.
Mrs. Stubb calls from the window, puzzled by the lawn cutter cutting grass too short. Mr. Stubb recalls the worker's past as a city barber, offering a humorous take on the unusual job switch reported by the Chicago News.
A drunkard’s encounter unfolds with Stubb recounting how Temptation came to him. A parlor window scene reveals an old lady with corkscrew curls as Fenwood descends to the cellar to fetch a bottle of French brandy. The moment underscores the pull of liquor on the tempted man.
A satirical piece portrays a failed cure scene where a bottle of medicine leads to comic misfortune as the aunt contracts three new diseases after reading the wrap. The dialogue underscores misadventure and the peril of fraudulent remedies.
A New York Times article surveys clever methods used to dodge customs duties on diamonds and alcohol. It details coating diamond backs with varnish to lower apparent value, heating stones to dull lustre, and hiding spirits in landaus and wedding carriages. The piece also notes the Paris Smugglers Museum with varied concealment devices and humorous disguises.
Prince Kraft recalls Germian artillery at Gravelotte where many guns were winged with broken wheels yet not withdrawn. Injured guns were quickly repaired with nearby wagons and returned to action, preserving combat effectiveness despite heavy shelling.
A young man leaves home for a naval career seeking admiral rank. After six years at sea with no promotion his suspicions grow. He blames bureaucratic obstacles as the reason for his stalled rise and orders his next move.
A historic breed story traces the Whyo cat from a mistreated, nearly tail-less rescue on New York's East Side to a prize winning presence at the Cat Show held in Madison Square Garden. The cat, later named Whyo, grew from a 14 pound origin to about 16 pounds with a bulldog-like chest, bowed front legs, a flat face, four white stockings, and lynx ears with fuzzy edges and a high plume.
A rural chemist finds coal dust substituted for black antimony in a common drug. Twelve samples from druggists show only one true black antimony. others mix coal dust with chalk or sand. Substitution likely from manufacturers, not local traders, with origins from both East coast and West. The New York shop supplying the substitute serves grooms and coachmen for horse powders. Red antimony, visually different, is chemically identical and is produced by precipitation.
The text proposes a method to induce sleep by picturing another person asleep, claiming stronger drowsiness as the image becomes clearer. It advises giving up the struggle to sleep, noting that anxiety about insomnia worsens fatigue, and that ceasing the effort often yields rest and recovery by morning.
Fessenden, worn by a long Senate session, declined Lincoln’s first plea to become Treasurer. Lincoln urged public confidence and noted a smooth path with able aides. Fessenden, after consent, insisted on leaving room for a successor. He accepted reluctantly as duty, serving until a fit replacement could be found.
A physician advises sea bathers to tailor bathing time to individual tolerance, noting many overstay to their detriment. Avoid whisky after bathing to preserve sea water benefits, which aid the stomach kidneys and liver, and can relieve indigestion insomnia and dyspepsia. Clean sea water offers tonic and sedative properties with two or three swallows helping most bathers.
An elderly Indiana farmer, devout and averse to swearing, endures muddy roads and foul-mouthed teamsters while guiding balky mules. In a moment of despair he prays aloud, declaring that if the stubborn mule does not move in a minute, he will cast a vow in earnest.
A fragment from the Chicago Record describes Oniek Cure and a tale of a husband’s insomnia. The doctor left medicine for Lenry to administer every half hour through the night, implying a medical or domestic effort to cure sleep disturbance.
A Detroit Free Press line contrasts a girl’s band with a girl's heart. The playful exchange frames a light, humorous clash of imagery about gender and perception in a quote-driven snippet.
A wry Indianapolis Journal humor line asks what to do about a skeleton in the closet and jokes about handling it. The piece also notes a home remedy of hot milk before bed to prevent sleeplessness and observes that modesty causes more blushes than real shame.
Marion Crawford reports in Century on the pontiff’s private rooms, noting a small bedroom with marble columns a writing table an armchair a kneeling stool and wardrobe. A private study sits on a carpeted platform with side tables and a rare straight backed chair. A tiny room holds an old lounge and an ornate easy chair. The apartment sits on the second floor, level with Raphael’s loggie, with Cardinal Rampolla above it.
An ad claims Kroley's Honey and Pare cures the wrippe cough and makes you strong and well. It lists H. J. Moogh and W. F. Jungkunz as endorsers in a garbled LaGrippe era promotion.
Poem by M. Idseer in Womankine extols a woman’s power over men through beauty. It lyrically describes eyes, hair, lips, neck, arms, and figure, asking if she knows her charms and the influence they yield over strength and pride.
The piece touts Banner Salve as the greatest healer for skin ailments and lists H J Moogh and W F Jungkun as guarantors. It notes an average of four employees per senator and a senate salary bill near $500 000 yearly with many clerks on short six month terms. It remarks clerks and messengers are not overworked, even during sessions.
Prothonotary J I Carson of Washington Pennsylvania extols Kodol Dyspepsia Cure as a reliable remedy for stomach trouble. Cairo diplomat H J Moogh petitions against Paris expo chorus dancing dervishes, alleging disrespect to Islam. Cairo governor said to oppose their departure. Banner Salve advertised as a universal healer. Restaurant patrons and waiters debate dining etiquette and perceived rights at the table.
Try Grain O grain O coffee substitute. Children may drink it without injury as well as adults. It imitates rich mocha aroma but is made from pure grains and gentle on the stomach. Sold by grocers at the price of coffee. Folding hat patented by a Rooteh woman using transverse plaits and a central crease to form brim.
Try Allen's Foot Ease a powder to shake into shoes. It cools swollen feet relieves soreness blisters and callous spots making walking easier. Sold by druggists and shoe stores for 25c trial package free address Allen S Olmsted Le Roy NY
Ladies can find the lowest prices on Easter hats and spring millinery at Mars Batonty located at 193 Van Buren St. The ad touts latest styles for spring and summer.
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