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Newspaper
Francesville Tribune
Location
Francesville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jul 16, 1908
Page
5
A collection of witty jabs and satirical quips on politics, censorship, census pessimism, Mark Twain, Martian news, Philippine salaries, and rising tombstone prices. The piece uses humor to critique public life and social trends with a light, local editorial voice.
A New York storekeeper laments fifty robberies in forty two years and jokes about moving. A Baltimore man with appendicitis is found to have no appendix, yet the operation costs money. The Duke of Abruzzi plans marriage to Miss Elkins in October amidst political concerns. An Indiana post mortem shows a stomach of six quarts, prompting notes on soil productivity.
A New York scientist argues many believe they find a soul mate but then doubt any guide that might reveal how to identify a lasting match. He critiques reliance on certainty and urges cautious exploration of compatibility ideas.
A Reading train struck a wagon driven by an eleven year old. The brake man on the locomotive saved the boy by catching his arm as he fell. The incident is cited as proof of the value of athletic sports and courage. The text also comments on King Manuel of Portugal, urging him to focus on uniting with his people rather than dynastic alliances.
A London specialist told the Daily Mail that non inhaled cigarettes are least harmful while inhaled smoke is highly dangerous. He warned young men feel heart effects sooner, and that better cigars increase risk. He even advised cabbage smoke over Havana cigars.
Spontaneous hay fire damages George Carney’s barn near Wabash. William Osbey dies from a heart shot at a Evansville camp meeting. Washington imposes tuberculin tests for dairy cows. Gas strike occurs near Washington. Fatal shooting tied to neighborhood trouble in Vincennes leaves Mamie Baker dead and two others under arrest. Indiana coal mergers crown Brazil Black Coal leader James McClelland as head of the new combine. Fireworks celebration in Lafayette ends with 12 year old Harry Sweat killed and others injured by a skyrocket accident.
Howard Jones, a farmer near Folsomville, was instantly killed by a lightning strike as he was leaving his barn. His wife Mrs Jones, standing within about thirty feet, was unhurt.
Two telegraph operators E. E. Williams and F. E. Termain of Garrett were instantly killed when struck by a Lake Shore Express at Pine Station as they walked the tracks and failed to notice the approaching train.
Edward Weed, 5S years old, near Cromwell, angered when farm laborers damaged a large amount of corn during plowing, went home and drove his family out before hanging himself.
The Laporte sheriff received an inquiry from C. A. Lindboe a lighthouse keeper at Grasoerne Fyr Norway regarding his son Olaf Lindboe 31 who came to Chicago from Norway in 1904 and then to Laporte to work for Mrs Belle Gunness.
The State Board of Health bulletin reports Indiana's May death rate at 11.8, down from 12.6 in the same month last year and below 12.2 in the preceding month, with missing data noted for the May and prior month months.
Residents of Winona Park and Kosciusko county gather for a temperance Sabbath at a summer resort marking the end of a prolonged fight against saloons in the county with all establishments leaving business.
Harry Stephens of Wabash stole a horse and dozed off while driving it. He awoke in the livery barn owned by Charles Barnhart and was promptly jailed.
The Indiana Republican State Committee intends to arrange at least one Roosevelt speech in Indiana if the President chooses to campaign there for Taft. No concrete plans have been set for Roosevelt’s appearance in Indiana.
Robert Shaw, 73, of War Saw, claims a new device that places railroad tracks in line without altering grade. He says the mechanism can perform the work of ten men with crowbars and several railroad officials are negotiating for its sale.
A denatured alcohol can exploded in Daniel Gallagher's kitchen in Fort Wayne injuring his wife and daughter Ella. The father with Mary and Kate Gallagher burned hands trying to rescue the mother and other daughter. Ella died soon after and the mother died two hours later.
Indianapolis merchants urge Democratic and Republican leaders to scrap Saturday night parades and rallies this year saying weekend political demonstrations disrupt store business. The Merchants Association cites interference with weekend shopping and customer traffic in its letters to party chairmen.
The Civic League forms plans to make Richmond a dry town with a large committee overseeing the effort. Details remain secret while the group weighs a blanket remonstrance method.
Mrs. Salina Dunfee, 82, issues a horseback riding contest challenge to all women over 80 in Wabash county during the old settlers reunion on September 2 in Wabash.
May or Wilson of Noblesville announces a Sunday policy shift after Civic League advice. Ice cream and soda may be sold on Sundays while cigars tobacco groceries and markets remain closed. He was the first Indiana mayor to enforce strict Sunday closing for thirteen months.
A. W. Denny of Anderson high school and Francis A. Walker of the City School Board travel by boat from Anderson toward the White river’s mouth to assist a government inquiry. Dr. Barton Everman of the U S Fish Commission commissions the trip to study muskets beds and fish species aiding the pearl hunting industry.
Daniel Heugel of Boonville, owner of a wheat thresher, was clothing stripped by the cyclone fan of his own machine. While oiling the spindle near the large cyclone, the sleeve of his amputated arm caught in the fan and his shirt and all garments were sucked into the blower as he narrowly escaped injury.
The famed Ben Hur beech, under which Lew Wallace drafted much of the novel, was cut down after years of decay. The tree, once a standout in the general's yard, had shed limbs until only a barren trunk remained before the ax fell.
Governor Hanly issues a proclamation banning cattle into Indiana unless they carry a signed health certificate from their origin. State officials accuse Ohio and Illinois dealers of dumping tubercular cattle into Indiana. Prof. Bitting reports tubercular cattle reached Indiana and entered dairies. enforcement will rely on a law allowing prohibition of incoming livestock not officially inspected and disease-free.
A garbled dialogue from a Chicago News piece shows a burly waiter and a diner from Sandy Springs debating a menu. The exchange centers on unfamiliar items and a cryptic phrase Hop kickers on TT, leaving the scene puzzling.
Publication presents a witty adage attributed to Becker in the New York Sun noting that the school of experience holds no reunions because it has no graduates.
Will Carleton’s verse depicts a longtime church sister lamenting over a new organ and choir with comic misfortune. The speaker, once central in hymn singing, is displaced by modern church music and humorously contemplates death as she voices pride in past service and fear of future silence.
A Philadelphia Press item recounts Atlantic City fishermen bragging of tiny cods tagged with copper wires. One man tied his name to a small fish. the next year a heavier cod bore the same tag. Another used a tin whistle and later a fog horn on a similar backstory of unchanging growth.
The Chicago Record Herald notes the great nebula in Orion as a striking celestial sight with glowing streams spirals and star groups. Lick Observatory research shows the nebula receding from Earth and the Sun at eleven miles per second, a motion barely perceptible over a century due to its immense distance.
The passage presents Samuel addressing Israel at Gilgal, defending his integrity as judge and prophet, and warning that requesting a king reveals ingratitude and disloyalty to God while urging the people to serve Jehovah with all their heart. It recounts the thunder and rain as divine judgment for asking for a king and outlines the nation’s moral failure and Samuel’s farewell duties.
Fashion editor notes several skirt patterns with numbers 2432 2442 2426 1587 2201 and details on style, size ranges and fabrics. The piece ends with a request for patterns Paris No. and asks reader to enclose ten cents with name and address.
A humorous compendium from the Atchison Globe on social etiquette and foibles. It notes that finger bowls cause awkward moments at parties and that many avoid events for fear of the table accessory. The piece blends wry observations on etiquette, gender norms, and everyday manners.
A vessel on her trial trip makes four runs over a measured mile two with and two against the tide. The average speed is derived from these trials to determine performance.
A humorous dialogue wonders why astronomers, though eyes strain under stargazing, tend to have strong eyes. The professor replies that their strong vision is the reason they become astronomers. The text ends with a reflective line about foes and fretful fear.
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