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This newspaper page contains 21 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Farmington Enterprise
Location
Farmington, New Mexico, United States of America
Date
Nov 06, 1908
Page
6
A fragmentary Bohemian Magazine piece features exaggerated cries for help and mock heroic lines. The speaker protests danger and vows to aid with improvised tools, framing a satirical scene around a would be rescue with a rope, measuring rod, and witnesses.
A salesman asks for a cheap item while Mrs. Henning searches the store for her husband. She asks about his direction, wondering which way he went as the scene unfolds in a lighthearted Bohemian Magazine vignette.
A Louisville Courier Journal quip notes that sixty percent of graduates marry their employers in the first year. The exchange reflects tensions around practical business training for young women and domestic expectations.
A Philadelphian recounts Charlemagne Tower noting Berlin police strictness. In a joke Schmidt and Krauss hear Muller drowned after a boating accident, and they remark that swimming in the river is forbidden by police. The punchline hinges on the universal ban.
A patron in a famous restaurant found a dead fly in one fried egg and calmly asked the waiter where the other fly was. The tale highlights a wry sense of humor rather than a complaint.
Mark Twain told inmates at the State Reformatory in Elmira a point using his gold watch but paused when convicts jeered that they had stolen watches. The crowd’s laughter reflected the irony as he acknowledged the misstep.
Nine year old Marjorie, unhappy with school reports, promised a dollar for scoring a hundred in anything. She falls ill, the doctor visits, and her temperature rises slightly above 100. She recovers, and she smiles, knowing the dollar is hers if she reaches a hundred.
A man faced a kissing offense before a justice of the peace. The young woman testified calmly and the court released him without fine or imprisonment, saying it had to restrain itself to avoid kissing the complainant.
Expert recollections reveal a city council of seventy with a mix of honest leaders and graft fears. The mayor’s secretary describes varied tactics to gain favors, the raucous galleries, and the careful balance of power among business men, reformers, and ward interests during council sessions.
Zinc coffins predominate in Vienna while the priciest are copper priced around $2,500. A bronze and copper coffin built for a Russian archduke recently exceeded $5,000 in cost.
The article urges testing white lead for purity and quality, offering a free testing outfit and book from National Lead. It also recounts Upton Sinclair's Lake Placid remarks on wealth, quoting his view that wealth brings true friends who value character.
Milford man Sylvanus Verrill testifies that a bad injury years earlier left his kidneys damaged and his back in pain. After taking Dean's Kidney Pills he regained strength, reduced pain, and eventually walked without crutches. Sold nationwide 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo NY.
On the coast of Holland Belgium and Northern France fisherwomen are a common sight with large hand nets and bright costumes. In Mann Kirke near Ostend they wear trousers loose blouses and shawls. They scoop up shrimps prawns crabs and lobsters carrying nets into the sea and wading to gather baskets full while remaining in water up to their necks.
A Newark Delaware man recalls seven years of eczema on his hands and failed remedies until Cuticura Soap and Ointment cured him after two boxes and one soap cake. He notes a severe condition where a slate pencil could rest in cracks. The testimonial dates to March 28 1907.
A patron in a fashionable restaurant rails against French dishes and asks for hash. The waiter corrects him with olla podrida as the proper term, while the ad closes with a medical cure notice for distemper and other animal diseases from Spahn Medical Co. Goshen, Jad.
A dialogue highlights risky schemes preying on retirees. One character challenges the ease of losing savings while another recalls numerous men involved in schemes, underscoring vigilance against financial traps.
Quote from the Atchison Globe notes the stubborn pride of singing voices. It observes that those unable to sing often resist encouragement, suggesting a humorous take on perseverance and ego. The line implies a character study of discordant performers and their resolve.
A Victorian note on a self-styled talking portrait by Mrs. Peck and her widower. A late Royal Microscopical Society member’s diamond writing device is shown in fragments, writing the Lord’s Prayer in microtext. Estimates place China's population near 400 million. one in four people on Earth would be Chinese if lined up.
Readers learn of a claimed cure for catarrh by a constitutional treatment. The ad promotes Hall's Catarrh Cure as internally acting on mucous surfaces with a $100 reward for uncurable cases, and lists testimonials and the manufacturer F J Cheney & Co. Also features other remedies and ad snippets including Allen's Foot Ease and Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
The General Demand of the well informed world is for a simple pleasant efficient liquid laxative of known value. The California Fig Syrup Co offers Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna, an ethical remedy with wholesome components, gentle yet prompt in action.
The London Standard notes a notable wedding at Craigenputtock home of Mary Carlyle, grandniece of Thomas Carlyle, linked to Pingle in Dumfriesshire near Ecclefechan birthplace. A separate line recalls a hobo stealing a box of soap from an unguarded freight car and discarding it into a river.
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