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This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Farmington Enterprise
Location
Farmington, New Mexico, United States of America
Date
Dec 25, 1908
Page
7
A Nebraska poet humorously recalls how he addressed his wife's mother after marriage. He avoided "Mother-in-law" due to jokes and sacredness, choosing "Say" the first year and later calling her "Grandma" as his approach evolved.
The market report notes butter at 35 cents and cheese and syrups holding their prices. Bananas fluctuate with occasional drops while dried apples rise, yeast cakes rise steadily, and pork remains steady with hog prices mentioned. Chickens show a small gain as the market swells.
A mother answers her son about death and heaven. The child asks how he will button his pants to heaven, highlighting innocent curiosity about the soul and afterlife. The anecdote appears in Delineator and shows early 20th century humor and childlike questions about eternity.
In a doorway Mrs. O'Toole confronts a polite stranger asking for Mr. O'Toole. She grips a rough stick in her left hand as she responds with a wary greeting, then shifts the club to her other hand.
A quotation from the Atlanta Constitution uses a mock sermon about an elevator to heaven to lampoon racial stereotypes. The exchange features a white speaker and a response about the devil and a rope, reflecting era tensions and racist images in public discourse.
A brief menacing exchange highlights a fragile secret about a table linen kept in the family for over twenty years. The conversation implies hidden risk or shame connected to the heirloom, stressing caution and secrecy.
A punchline from Harpers Weekly notes the editor thanks for the drawings but cannot use them. The office boy explains the editor did not explicitly reject, saying only that the drawings “take them away, they make me sick.”
During his visit to Pocantico Hillis the Prolific Cardinal Logue was asked how many sermons a preacher could prepare in a week. He replied that an extraordinary man could craft one sermon, an average man two, and a donkey ten or twelve.
A humorous exchange as a woman asks a boy about his dairy. He honestly states the cow yields about eight quarts daily and he sells roughly twelve quarts, highlighting a simple, sharp business misalignment.
In a coastal village bar Sol Ketchmaid, a stern landlord, confronts Ned Clark and Henry Wiggett. Wiggett returns from sea with a wooden leg, claiming to owe gratitude to Ketchmaid for saving his life. A staged farewell to New Zealand turns real when Wiggett reveals no niece exists and remains in town, leaving the landlord exposed.
Cleaning and painting windows with a dry brush wipes away grease using fresh lard. Ammonia water cuts grease from panes. To remove stains from clothes rub with kerosene and warm water, then rub until stains disappear.
A tip for removing burned edges from layer or leaf cakes involves using fine sandpaper once the cake is set and before it cools. Place a paraffin paper cut to the cake’s shape to prevent sticking to the plate during setting.
A simple peanut salad mixes shelled peanuts soaked in olive oil with chopped celery and ripe olives. Serve in crisp lettuce leaves with a mayonnaise dressing for a light, savory appetizer.
Beeswax and salt prevent rust on flatirons and keep them smooth. Tie wax in a rag and store it for that purpose. When hot, rub with the wax rag then scour with a cloth sprinkled with salt.
Plain food item instructions describe Corn Dodgers made from Indian meal and flour with molasses eggs and soda. The batter is fried like pancakes and served hot with shortening and butter.
The well informed demand a simple pleasant liquid laxative with known good parts. California Fig Syrup Co offers Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna as a gentle effective remedy, sold by leading druggists for fifty cents a bottle. Also notes eye salve from Dr. Mitchell’s, sold locally at 25 cents.
A brief radio segment features a host voicing disbelief at a young caller’s profanity. The exchange captures surprise and aims to shock or amuse listeners with blunt language from the caller.
Mrs. R. C. Richmond of Northwood Iowa says she was a martyr to kidney trouble backache dizzy spells and head aches. After using Dean's Kidney Pills she reports the backache ceased and after three boxes no sign of trouble remains. Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY. Breaking the Ice Jennifer and George discuss proposals and the ice is broken leading to an engagement.
A Newark mother reports her six week old son's eczema improved after using Cuticura Remedies. Despite medical visits and skin specialists, his face and body were severely affected for seven years. After starting the remedies the irritation diminished and fully healed, with no recurrence.
An American and a Londoner banter about fog as they ride a Liverpool to London train. The Yankee boastfully likens fog to whipped egg for a float and coal soot for fuel while noting regional differences.
A dying man requests a monument inscription stating he worked for his living. The piece shifts to a Nuts column praising nuts for purity and absence of adulteration, noting clean shells and a charming image of trees in sunshine.
A fragmented advertisement offers a one hundred dollar reward for catarrh cures not helped by Hall's Catarrh Cure. It includes statements about the cure, endorsements from Walding Kinnan Marvin and a druggist group, and pricing at 75 cents a bottle. The text also cites testimonials and a joke quote from the Atlanta Constitution.
A young couple in a Sheffield railway carriage pose as a bridal pair but remain calm as rice shower erupts on departure. The groom loudly declares he has won the bridegroom's overcoat, leaving surprised passengers bemused by the faux nuptial scene.
Examine every bottle of CASTORIA for infants and children and note the signature In Use For Over 30 Years The Kind You Have Always Bought. The note adds a line on cultivating politeness and warns about corporal punishment as a way to make children smart.
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