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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Farmington Enterprise
Location
Farmington, New Mexico, United States of America
Date
Aug 07, 1908
Page
4
A collage of humorous quips and anecdotes from the Civil War to modern times. Jests range from a martinet general to a waiter tale about a duke and a rare sirloin. Wry exchanges about attire and appetite punctuate the lighthearted fare.
A four year old staying with a hostess tries to pray at bedtime. Unable to be helped she says the line Please, God, sense me I can't remember my prayers and I'm staying with a lady who don't know any. The exchange ends with a humorous retort about wings and heaven.
A historical quip questions if granting women the vote would lead to women seeking office. The speaker doubts this, imagining women serving ice cream for outsiders in a dismissive scenario.
The article explains thinness as a digestive issue caused by hyperacidity and poor fat digestion. It links stomach tarrrh to delayed digestion, harming pancreatic juice, and suggests Peruna before meals to speed digestion and prevent fermentation, followed by fat-forming foods to restore fullness.
A writer admonishes a mother over her son Theodore’s exposure to vulgar phonograph records and curb temptations from rude companions. The missive urges proper speech, refined taste, and even fashion fixes to prevent dowdy appearances and preserve Theodore’s moral upbringing.
Reconstruction of a Dublin scene recalls a hotel waiter told to serve soup to all guests under house rules. A visitor protested the blanket command, while a steward insisted soup was mandatory, creating a comic clash amid a king’s Irish sojourn.
Young Elsie recounts a trip to Washington with her father. She describes supper at a grand hotel where senators and representatives were present and champagne was served. She praises the deportment of the Black waiters who served the wine.
Matthias Campbell, Civil War and two Indian wars veteran and Colorado pioneer now in Blair Nebraska at 218 East Nebraska street, says his back pain and urinary stoppage improved after his wife and he used Deans Kidney Pills, prescribed for advanced kidney trouble. Sold by all dealers 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
A misheard comment reveals class and race tensions in a Boston household. A white wife directs her black cook Matilda to serve oatmeal for her Scotch husband, prompting Matilda to question his heritage. A separate exchange shows a child asking about idioms and a sailor's answer about crossing a bay.
An early 20th century notice touts Hall's Catarrh Cure as a constitutional remedy for deafness caused by catarrh and inflamed Eustachian tubes. It also promotes Allen's Foot-Ease for foot issues and mentions lottery payouts in Mexico City.
A clipped remark notes that women with head troubles would consult a milliner rather than a physician, reflecting a humorous stereotype about remedies and gender roles in the period.
A garbled OCR fragment cites Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup as a teething aid for children, claiming softening of gums and wind relief. The text is muddled with misspellings and unrelated phrases about farmers and potatoes, offering no clear historical context or outcomes.
In a courthouse discussion locals mourn the loss of a famous log distillery dating to British rule. Linsuel Jacklin notes sentiment shifts, recalling past drunkenness and the role of whisky in law, politics, and trials, including the tale of the famed lawyer Tom Marshall.
A judge and older men debate the past, arguing that liquor shaped life, crime, and politics. Uncle Ben recalls farm life with hard work and scarce technology while Limuel counters with modern improvements. The speaker warns against liquor's influence on elections and public morals.
The speaker warns that even respected statesmen can be drunk at times and urges youths to choose water over liquor. He recalls a personal misadventure with barbed wire after drinking and contrasts beer with whisky, noting temperance calls and the dangers of alcohol in a didactic, folksy reminiscence.
A very good horse can cover 60 miles in ten hours if the vehicle is right and the turnpike road is in good condition.
The London water system draws from the Thames and Lea rivers along with local springs and wells to provide freshwater. The setup relies on multiple sources to ensure steady distribution for the metropolis.
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