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Newspaper
Farmington Enterprise
Location
Farmington, New Mexico, United States of America
Date
Apr 17, 1908
Page
6
Comic dialogue features Larry warning Pat about a dangerous needle fly and Pat quipping about sitting awkwardly, using dialect and playful banter in a rural humor sketch.
Mrs Brache asks about staying in the city. Mrs Gunson replies they only stopped to view sights. Mrs Brache insists they must see her husband before leaving.
A light dialogue notes that rats are said to judge music, and the speaker mentions not having a rat in the house since acquiring a phonograph, reflecting humorous domestic chatter and contemporary tech.
Ascum questions a Boston proposal while Yerner defends it. Yerner recalls telling of a beating heart and the girl tests his sincerity by feeling his pulse. The exchange captures a flirtatious scene with local humor.
A Boston physician recounts billing a patient after eight visits and later checking on progress. The doctor notes the patient improved and advised plain eating and early nights. The patient replies the bill had already dictated his care.
In a rough haired exchange Boozey invites the Salvation Army to host a free dinner for the poor tomorrow. Boozey declines to attend citing lack of work.
At the Franklin Inn in Philadelphia a young sonneteer congratulates Owen Wister on his Washington studies. Wister replies with a Washington story about a St Paul’s student who failed algebra, and the master reminds him that George Washington was a surveyor and later President at a similar age.
Dialogue captures Frost remarking procrastination as a fault and Snow prompting a request to "mention one" followed by Frost naming funerals as an example. The exchange reflects their playful banter on tasks and obligations.
Two Irishmen in a New Jersey town talk about a tight mayoral election and a close alderman contest. They joke that both candidates Mc Glory and Mink are unpopular and well known, implying voting for the other.
An English cathedral towns essayist notes a marble slab in Tetbury Gloucestershire. The inscription reads Beneath lie the remains of several of the Perkinses late of this parish. Particulars, the last day will disclose. Amen.
Consul James E. Dunning of Milan reports that 452,328 Italians emigrated in the first six months of 1907. Of these, 195,198 went to other European and Mediterranean regions while 257,130 migrated to trans-oceanic destinations.
A quote from Col. John F. Bishop recalling his Tennessee grandfather and a village man’s drunken mispronunciation during a street encounter. The parable-like exchange ends with the minister’s skeptical remark about the Almighty’s involvement.
A woman recounts her brother suffering eczema for three summers and being cured after using Cuticura Ointment. She notes another Indiana mother whose child recovered from severe eczema with the Cuticura Remedies, with dates from 1907.
In a brief exchange, Willie notes the arrival of automobiles in Borneo while M predicts a rise in wild-men numbers as a consequence. The remark hints at cultural and environmental shifts tied to new technology.
Philip R. Bangs of Toledo tells of a revival in Texas where a worker claimed visions of Heaven and Hell. The boss questions him about white and black peoples in Heaven and Hell, depicting whites lounging and blacks praying with golden slippers.
A Washington man traveling for business visits New York then Connecticut where he questions an 80 year old native. The elder reveals he was born two miles away. The exchange leads to a joke about weather predictions as a safe profession.
A Pennsylvanian patient credits his doctor with introducing Grape-Nuts and Postum revealing a remarkable recovery from indigestion. Within weeks his spells vanished and his energy and mental clarity improved, a transformation attributed to the product from Postum Co. This testimonial also references The Road to Wellville and Battle Creek, Michigan.
M Maurice Gehri a Swiss professor born April 11 1885 at Morges who taught French in Vollonia was arrested as a revolutionist in 1906 and sentenced to life transportation. He escaped with two companions on September 17 1907 fled toward Vladivostok reached Japan then Switzerland telegraphed for funds and arrived home weeks ago to reunited parents.
A derailed 20 car pulpwood train broke loose on a siding near Copperville Maine and sped toward Portland, pursued by a locomotive from the Night Flyer. After a dramatic uphill climb toward Shelbourne the pursuer hooked on at 100 yards, applying air brakes to halt the danger with a near miss to the passenger cars.
News from Hiawasse district Pulaski county reports the birth of a baby with two heads to Mr and Mrs John Meredith. The mother mourns in tears and sleepless grief while neighbors discuss a dream offering relief and hope that surgery might remove the extra head with no injury to the natural head.
A westbound Pennsylvania railroad train crew witnessed a deer sprint ahead of the locomotive for about a mile after a curve sighting. The spike buck plunged into the river with floating ice and swam to an island, seen near the Carr farmhouse previously.
A Preston Minnesota farmer, Charles Larson, kept a hen from his flock that developed a human nose with nostrils and a human mouth below it. The bird had no comb, its cheeks appeared pink, and its head was fashioned by a taxidermist after chloroform.
A fragment quotes Alexarcor Pove remarking on shared human empathy and Christian sentiment, reflecting on how no man would endure another's misfortune. The line evokes a moral stance on compassion.
An 81 year old Virginia settler from Salem recalls back pain and kidney trouble after lifting a heavy weight. He credits Dean's Kidney Pills from Foster Milburn Co. of Buffalo with restoring his health after months of misery. The advertisement notes 60 cents per box and availability from dealers. A side note mentions a long running feud between Browns and Perkinses over a deceased cat, ending with a peace-making note and a misattributed reply.
A collage of old advertisements and quips touts Hallett’s Catarrh Cure Cheney’s Medicine Castoria Garfield Tea and Boomer’s Troches. It includes a grimace toward public monuments and a sentimental note about a writer’s monument, plus motherly advice about infants and teething remedies.
The piece surveys President J G Schurman views on elective college courses noting a freshman's immaturity in choice. It pivots to satirical anecdotes from Rural New Yorker and Sunday Magazine about seeds and tariffs, a Connecticut Irish tale on weather vanes, a joke about a wife, and a reflective line from E C Burke.
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