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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Fairfield Tribune
Location
Fairfield, Iowa, United States of America
Date
May 09, 1900
Page
8
A barber warns of near fatal mishaps in his chair citing a dramatic case where a father in ether woke to blood as his daughter died. He explains sudden movements often cause dangerous cuts and notes barbers occasionally repay misfortune with injuries unseen. The piece ends with a Persian prince anecdote and a skeptic’s laugh.
A brief quip from the Columbus State Journal notes Brown and Jones debating why one did not laugh with the others. Brown explains the joke was on him as he avoided the laughter while the rest found it humorous.
A prominent Sunday school organizer visits a top nose and throat specialist for polyps. The physician promises a quick cure without surgery if she agrees to follow directions, insisting she smoke cigarettes. After a week the growth vanishes, though she remains no smoker.
The Chicago News critiques Chinese inquest practices noting that coroners must have a dead body and may stage sham inquiries. It highlights absurd signs for poisoning such as feeding rice to a chicken and claims these methods fail to prevent crime.
A showman bets a bystander with a dog that he can reveal a lion. The man reveals he is blind, pockets two sovereigns, and leaves, proving the lion was not present. London Answers reports the scene with the crowd and the wager.
A scornful reminiscence recalls a plantation school lesson where a kindergartner misreads a pictorial primer. Polly spells ox by sight of the ox’s tail, showing how imagination and context guided early literacy under a prewar matron’s teaching.
A Kansas City Kansas inventor Samuel Peppard built a wagon rigged with two sails to travel from Oskaloosa toward Denver during the Colorado gold rush era. The craft weighed 350 pounds with a 10 foot mast and 11 by 8 foot sail. On trial runs it reached speeds of two miles in four minutes and covered 50 miles a day with crew of four, facing skepticism from locals before starting the main voyage.
The article advises choosing diet types aligned with activity. For brief intense efforts do high protein to support muscular work. For steady daily exercise prefer low protein and high carbohydrates and fats to sustain long effort.
A Philadelphia Record quote asserts advertising is always necessary to draw profits from a business venture. The text argues profits are the permanent object of financial investment and that every successful merchant has found advertising essential.
A Swedish student in Berlin meets a charming young woman who pretends to be his cousin for three days. She confesses at departure that she is not his cousin, revealing the real man behind the veil as Otto von Bismarck. The ruse ends as the mail coach departs.
A European visitor in New York recalls meeting former business partners now in menial roles. She recounts encounters at a hotel, restaurants, riding schools, and carriages where glamorous figures like M le Baron de Trois Etoiles and Graf von Truemmer-Schloss appear modestly but retain elite status back home.
A note on Oliver Goldsmith writer of Retaliation with Garrick epitaph lines and remarks by Johnson in Black's Life of Goldsmith. It notes Goldsmith died April 4 1774 and burial site in Temple churchyard remains unknown with Johnson praising his greatness despite faults.
Joseph M. Terry of Peconic New York has donated a valued relic to the Suffolk County Historical Society a ivory paper cutter once used in Daniel Webster s Marshfield Massachusetts library The cutter passed from Webster to Charles Taylor a farm manager s son then to Taylor s family and finally to Terry through proximity to his home
A minstrel notes most songs honor roses love and mothers while none center on the old man. He recalls a rare example Father Dear Father Come Home With Me Now where the old man appears drunk in the first verse, as cited by the Atchison Globe.
A New York Sun excerpt recalls Culloden West Virginia where the town engineer altered metes and bounds to push liquor supporters inside the town while temperance backers found themselves outside the new line. The zigzag map now marks a contented, divided community.
A Morgan Street mother brings her 5 year old son Edward for a portrait. The boy resists the session and hurls a tearful complaint that echoes a dentist visit. The mother appeals to calm him as the photographer prepares to shoot.
The artist painted a allegorical picture named Joy with model Uncle Ephraim. He promised a half dollar and the finest pallet if successful. A sudden inspiration hit when he saw a fat possum on South Water Street, turning the work into a magnificent success.
The Saturday Evening Post recounts Lady Churchill’s sharp reply to a British politician. She notes American men are intelligent and patriotic, thus not needing women as an educating force in politics, implying women’s political roles differ by country.
A Washington Star quip imagines Mr. Meekton citing his wife Henrietta's defense of critics. The joke hinges on Henrietta saying the people who criticized her are the ones who would feel small if they knew her remarks about them.
A Washington correspondent asks who is best to approach for inside government information. The reply: the secretary of the interior. The Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph records the exchange as a quip on access to official channels.
The Century quotes Napoleon Bonaparte at St. Helena telling Dr O'Meara that accepting a throne in England would force him to execute thousands to stay in power. He says oceans of blood would be needed, he is aging, seeks retirement, and doubts what he could do against Europe.
In Ecuador's Pacific slope forests a palm yields hard white vegetable ivory nuts. Germany buys two thirds, with the remainder going to the United States France and England. Harvest occurs in the rainy season as rafts carry nuts down swollen rivers. Indian and mixed-race workers process the crop. Unpeeled nuts sell for about 60 cents per 100 pounds.
Rat tail tendons provide strong suture material. A single tail yields five to six tendons usable as they are, easily threaded for wound closure.
In a Philadelphia Press item Fay confesses she accepted a cheap appearing proposal from May-How, noting the suitor looked so inexpensive that she could not resist. The exchange reveals a lighthearted, ironic tone about a social engagement.
Market gardeners around Paris cultivate the dandelion on a very large scale and sell it for good prices in the market. Irish stew is a dish never seen in Ireland.
A literary man back from Pennsylvania coal country reports hearing the most ungrammatical sentence yet. In a Schuylkill mining village a man asks children to come home as their mother calls. The largest girl replies with a dialect line that humorously defies standard grammar.
The New York Tribune advises a simple eye care regimen for dogs prone to watery eyes. Use cold rainwater as a wash, then apply a lotion of rochelle salts dissolved in distilled water, with about three drops twice daily.
The article notes that sword blades forged at Toledo by the Saracens could be coiled into a spring and would instantly regain absolute straightness when freed.
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