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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Sep 19, 1903
Page
6
Fragmentary text discusses diamond prices and Evelyn awakening sparks. Mentions cacao consumption, pods with fifteen to five beans, and cacao trees. Notes Havana charcoal trade and yellow fever cautions. Ends with a personal dialogue about belief and devotion.
At a Larchmont Yacht Club reception, Jo Mas Lipton led a humorous moment with a specially written song and a parody on Tommy Atkins. The crowd, including Clay M. Greene, enjoyed the clever verses and lively performance.
An assorted item notes West Africa as particularly unhealthy while Aden, Singapore, and Hong Kong are hotter in parts. It mentions death rates and factors like temperature and humidity as health determinants, then shifts to unrelated fragments about Queen Anne rings and a stray dialogue involving police and witnesses.
A fragment notes Jief Millican praising a witty woman described as peculiar and asks how she differs from others. The Cincinnati Enquirer is referenced with no additional context or quotes.
Carruth, a 30 year old farmer’s son from Weir, was blind since birth and recently regained sight at Glasgow Ophthalmic Hospital. He describes color, especially green, and faces with new clarity, notes the shock of movement and pain, and expresses a belief that a creator made the scenery before him.
In Philadelphia Record two politicians debated the origin of mugwump. One argues it means a big Algonquin chief from 1854 Republican slant toward Cleveland, the other claims it is Southern slang for a tadpole bullfrog in transition, a nondescript creature.
A humorous Baltimore News item contrasts an expert who guesses hide contents with a machine that weighs and computes the square measurements exactly in metric and standard systems. A Towson man shouts anthracite as winter is mentioned, prompting laughter.
A reflective note on how discussing a great calamity after it passes can ease its weight, offering perspective and relief. The text contemplates communal processing and the healing effect of shared narrative following hardship.
Miss Muriel Armitage of Detroit a district organiser for the Royal Templars of Temperance writes that after five years of uterine irregularities and hysteria she found relief by using Peruna. She says six months of treatment restored health and strength after doctors failed. The letter asserts Peruna cures catarrh of pelvic organs as it does nasal catarrh, attributing overall female ailment relief to catarrh cure.
A vintage advertises Peruna as a permanent cure for catarrh including pelvic catarrh and associated nervousness. It claims many women suffer long with pelvic catarrh and urges readers to seek Dr. Hartman’s free advice at The Hartman Sanitarium in Columbus, Ohio if not satisfied.
Mrs Newed requests cheese and exposes a cheese full of cholera like boles. The grocer defensively asserts the standard weight. Mrs Newed refuses to pay for a pound containing a half pound of boles, accusing the cheese of spoilage.
Phyllis recalls a rich young man dancing with her five times at a charitable ball last night. She downplays the attention as inconclusive. A thief reportedly took an umbrella today, the umbrella she had been carrying all week, as quoted by the Philadelphia Press.
In a witty exchange the eternal woman asks which great man wrote Woman is Heaven's Best Gift to Man. The henpecked husband retorts that the author was no great man at all and calls him a chump.
A dialogue on engagement reveals tension between privacy and transparency. One person argues perfect trust is beautiful while the other calls it idiotic for sharing income and prospects. The exchange ends with a joke about losing personal spending control after disclosure.
George and his father plan to set an alarm for 10:30 tonight. The son asks if the ticking had been monotonous and annoying the other night.
Lake Batticaloa in Ceylon is noted as home to musical fish whose sounds rival harps. A crossing boat reveals clearer melodies as oars dip, while Everett Foster recounts in St Nicholas how a winter trip in Yellow Stone Park led to a tale of a boy who caught a trout and cooked it in Nature's pot, delighting tasters including the narrator.
A historical estimate puts the number of opium smokers in the United States at about 1,000,000. Officials note public health concerns and potential impacts on social and economic conditions across major cities.
The town Redditch dominates hook production with about 500 million hooks made there. Weekly output around 10 million hooks range from large shark hooks to tiny trout fly hooks. Bend diameters are about a sixteenth of an inch, and a thousand hooks fit a standard thimble.
I was in wretched health and my blood was in bad order with ulcerated gums. After using 8 8 8 I gained appetite and strength, and my health improved quickly. Two testimonials claim a three bottle course cured long standing tetter after other doctors failed, with no relapse in fifteen years.
An archaeologist and the national museum sub director F Rodriguez visit remote Puebla to study a newly found ancient city. Dr Nicolas Leon reports the ruins are world unknown, extremely old, and reveal quadrangular pyramids built to cardinal points with stone shelves and courtyards. They uncover bas reliefs, stone and iron figures, pink painted wares, and obsidian tools.
A Coast Survey office photo reveals a tiny precision instrument that measures lengths at a millionth of an inch. It uses a series of small mirrors to reflect light into a scale, producing a refined reading.
The eccentric capitalist, retired with a fortune, reportedly purchases mortgages on two story houses owned by widows or orphans. He never forecloses or collects interest, yet appears satisfied with the investment, and observers wonder if he may reap large returns later.
A daring thief enters the London home of a plainspoken man and aims his pistol. The owner quips that moving proves he is alive, prompting the intruder to threaten death. The exchange reveals a tense, darkly humorous moment in a burglary.
A historical note contrasts gambling among American workmen with the much higher prevalence in Great Britain, referencing the Moseley commissioners and implying stricter attitudes or oversight in the U S.
A brief meditation on how idioms confuse what we wear and do not wear. The narrator notes oddities in phrases like coat before vest and signs about wiping feet, while a father warns a son about warming his jacket to mean pantaloons, highlighting quirky speech habits.
Miss Van der Whoop Yes speaks of being the youngest member of one of New York's oldest families, with Miss Binns replying that indeed it is the oldest family, if she is the youngest. The exchange hints at social lineage and rivalries within a storied urban circle.
A humorous aside in the Baltimore American quotes a husband urging his wife to depart as the children prepare to recount their latest clever anecdotes. The lighthearted line captures domestic humor and family pride reflected in a 20th century local paper.
In France the quail is called the bird of prophecy with a belief about its calls predicting crop prices. An old advertisement touts Piso’s Cure for Consumption as a cough suppressant priced at 25 cents.
A humorous exchange contrasts a wife and husband on women aging. The wife notes a joke about wrinkles signaling a husband’s character, while the husband retorts that nature marks a woman with lines to reveal her spouse.
Electric lighted trains with unequalled service offer low fares to Chicago, Dubuque, Des Moines, Kansas City, and the Southeast. Write to J. P. Elmer G. P. A. Chicago for information.
The Australia ornithologists union works to secure protective laws for birds at risk of extermination. It suggests reserving certain islands for the nutmeg pigeon. Mothere will find Mrs Winslow's soothing syrup best for teething children this season.
Dr. J Cheney & Co of Toledo advertise Hall's Catarrh Cure as the only cure for deafness caused by catarrh. They claim deafness results from an inflamed mucous lining of the Eustachian tube and promise 100 dollars for any case cured by their remedy. Circulars offered free.
A Chicago Tribune joke notes a man arguing with his wife over a new plane's interior. She criticizes a too large pantry and excess closets, and the evening ends with him winning the medal for the biggest lie.
No matter how hard your cough or how long you have had it, Ayer's Cherry Pectoral is the best remedy. It warns against waiting until consumption and urges readers to buy a bottle today. Three sizes offered: 25c, 50c, and $1. All druggists.
A Chicago Daily News snippet shows a doorkeeper questioning a visitor with a baby carriage in a lobby. Mrs Murphy replies the baby is not admitted in arrrume, while the program notes babies are excluded from a theater seating area. The ad copy mentions Dr Kline and nerve cures.
A department manager and a store proprietor debate a new worker’s diligence. The proprietor notes the newcomer is a mighty hard worker, and the manager confirms the observation with a cautious response about his work ethic.
Referson Machine Co advertises merchants and engineers in Portland Oregon offering Parsons Hawkeye automatic self loaders stump pullers and sawmill machinery. Includes details of engines boilers and mills with a general appeal for machinery inquiries and orders.
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