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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Nov 08, 1902
Page
9
Eugene Weekly Guard notes a stream of wry observations on politics, science, and society. The column touches on trusts, Peary’s polar quest, noble matches, and a comic tale about a turtle aided sewer clearance, reflecting a mix of commentary and humorous anecdote.
A character from Arthur Sher burne Hardy quips that when two men argue he sees two donkeys running a treadmill and urges pen and thought over talk. The remark foreshadows that arguments seldom aid truth, though they sharpen expression for certain temperaments as exemplified by Giehotone’s language habit.
The article surveys glowing claims from modern science including longer life, healthier diets via respiration calorimetry, and government tests on food adulteration. It cites Paris and Rome reports on germ proof housing and sleep research, fasting supposedly easing old age, and an Illinois physician claiming to have raised the dead, all offered as evidence of future cures and renewal.
A Brooklyn kindergarten class heard a nurse and pupils discuss nerves during a physiology talk. A bright girl named Emily offered to answer, but a humorous exchange followed when she asked what is no nerve, prompting laughs as the teacher tried to regain order.
The Medical Society of Paris warns against the growing petroleum drinking habit. Initial theories linked it to alcohol taxation, but investigations show the trend existed earlier in certain districts and has spread rapidly. Physicians largely agree on the habit’s harmful effects though views vary on its impact.
A brief humor item from the Philadelphia Record features a playful exchange between two boys. The first claims to get rid of enemies by tossing shoes at his sister’s wedding, while the second counters by saying he only tossed his mother’s slippers.
Buenos Ayres announces 1901 criminal totals including a murder 244 attempted murders 1710 assaults and over 6000 thefts burglaries and related offenses The report notes the social context of business and personal circles influencing perception and attitude in a succinct local snapshot
The Washington flower distribution from White House conservatories and city parks aids Congress members and officials with cut blooms. Greenhouse staff and departments supply flowers for state functions and ordinary occasions, saving substantial costs, with the Prince Henry dinner costing far less than market prices.
A heated debate on water at meals features Dr Felix L Oswald dismissing the idea as a sanitary superstition. Proponents argue water helps digestion while others claim the body will compensate internally, with various authorities offering different views on hydration, absorption, and stomach comfort.
The Philadelphia Press notes the Navy Department cannot confirm Rear Admiral Thomas C Selfridge age. Since he joined in 1818 at minimum age 15, estimates place him between STAR and 100. His eldest son, Rear Admiral Thomas O Selfridge Jr, admits being 100 years old. The elder Selfridge was born in Hubbardston Massachusetts.
A roadside stone near Strabanes bears a warning about fording the river when unseen, recalling a Kent finger post. A Parisian woman allegedly breaks up a happy home with many pets after neighbors complain of nocturnal noise and crowing. A Philadelphia quip notes a woman’s bargain as something unaffordable yet offered at a loss.
Jefferson Hope recounts his life driven by vengeance for Drebber and Stangerson, detailing his methodical pursuit across cities. He explains his plan to starve them of opportunity, luring Drebber to a Brixton Road house and preparing poison pills for a fatal, calculated justice.
Riggedweed VII notes King Edward is keen on flying ships and Santos-Dumont but dismisses rumors of a coronation era air trip. A peer asks if the king will travel by air, and the monarch laughs, saying he will wear his earthly crown first and the coronation has not yet occurred.
A child asks what medicine is made of and the grandmother explains it comes from leaves roots and barks. The youngster then wonders if it is made from dog barks, revealing a quaint scene of a four year old and her grandmother sharing a tale.
A little girl washing her feet on a summer evening sees the moon under a cloud and bolts for home with a fear of the moon slipping and sliding. The tale captures a child’s vivid imagination and momentary fright as night approaches.
A brief Indianapolis News quip frames absent mindedness as thinking forward with a boy asking what it means and a father answering that it is when thoughts wander. The humor hinges on a simple cross between ordinary chatter and a childlike question.
In a Detroit Free Press item a tramp taunts a lady about his bravery during the war. He challenges proof of valor and offers a crude trade, saying he will light her gasoline stove if given a math problem. The exchange underscores sharp street dialogue and wartime memory.
A Philadelphia Press quip notes Mr. Klogeman attends church regularly, asking when he found religion. The joke: he did not, it is merely business, having loaned Rev. Gassaway ten dollars and now collecting it as pew rent.
Smith Um m Rather too good looking dont you think The dialogue depicts a witty exchange about a girl named Brown and her perceived cleverness and appearance in a terse conversational burst
An 19th century verse celebrating the American flag as symbol of freedom and national valor. The speaker envisions the flag rising from heaven to guide soldiers, inspire courage, and shine over battle and sea, with imagery of stars, colors, and the banner as hope and triumph across the nation. Poem attributed to Joseph Rodman Drake.
In a speech honoring the late D W Richardson working men are urged to take pride in manual labor. A lecturer recounted meeting a Scottish jurist famed for self culture and described a mason who laid stones with skill combining hand and mind. The tale links hard work to lasting achievement and recognition.
A congressman rebukes rivals by recounting a client who found a sample from a spring bottle. An expert chemist later reports no trace of paregoric, illustrating skepticism toward reform efforts amid national party bickering.
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