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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
May 31, 1902
Page
4
Fragmented ad style text discusses medicine price and dose value. It mentions cost and the idea that medicine must be measured, claiming high effectiveness at low expense, but the readable portion is incoherent. No clear events, people, or organizations are identifiable.
An advertisement style note extols Hood's Sarsaparilla for debility and eruptions, claiming energizing effects and reliable cure promises. It also nods to other era quips and a teething remedy mention by Mrs. Winslow.
The State Journal reports Jester and Jimeon discuss Jester-Dobster's recent painting which the artist cannot identify the subject of when viewed later.
Mrs Henry Peck berates jokes about women giving husbands cigars for Christmas. She questions the idea and notes Henry is in the hall shaking hands with himself, reflecting a playful quarrel captured in the Baltimore American.
An old advertisement touts a foot care remedy by asking dealers to stock Al 's Foot-Fase Apowder. It claims to relieve swollen sore hot calloused and aching feet with easy use for ingrown nails. Available at druggists and shoe stores with a sample free offer. Address Allen 8 Olmsted LeRoy 8.
The minister M. Millerand declares a general price reduction for telephone service across France. Paris sees annual rates drop from 80 to 60. Pneumatic message charges fall from 10 to 6 cents.
A Harlem Life note recounts a balcony incident where Mr Gayboy’s coat sleeve brushed red paint from a freshly painted post during a dance. The exchange questions if he approached the post and the punchline notes paint on his waist.
A wealth surge prompts a man to seek a spelling aid from a typewriter salesman. The salesman offers a device that blurs doubtful words when a key is pressed, promising help for spelling errors.
The obituary notes birth on May 3, 1875 and death on Friday March 19, 1902 at 9 30 p m central time. It frames the passing as moving to an eternal abode beyond the skies and marks the date as his 27th birthday in heaven.
A survey of bread folklore shows cross signs used since pagan times, Christian protection beliefs, and rites around kneading troughs, ovens, and special days. It traces customs in France Germany Brittany Gottland and relates them to modern hot cross buns and pancake Shrove Tuesday practices.
A House fracas shows Rep Payne of New York pushing for a conference committee on a Senate passed bill with minor House amendments. The maneuver hinges on the Ways and Means chair guiding selection by pinning a slip with preferred names to the document, a tactic the speaker then reads aloud.
In a light moment before a legislative session, Mr. Payne hesitates as colleagues tease him about names for the conference committee. He finally nominates himself along with Mr. Dalzell and Mr. Richardson. The chair then appoints the trio, and Payne seeks to keep the record calm and unremarkable.
A New York physician urges women to seek fresh air and proper ventilation to prevent colds and improve health. He warns against airtight rooms with heavy draperies and recommends cautious exposure in cold weather with light skin care. He notes complexion quality improves with healthy air and modest outdoor time.
A nurse sues a physician for malpractice over morphine prescribed in therapeutic doses. The jury halted the trial deeming the action unwarranted, noting the nurse knew morphine risks and continued use independently. The Philadelphia Medical Journal warns such suits could unsettle medical practice and blames no clear fault on the physician.
The first great drought on record occurred in 678 with two subsequent years of almost no rainfall. In 870 springs in England dried up making outdoor work impossible. During 903 and 904 nuts on trees roasted as if in an oven, illustrating severe dry periods.
A man who weighs 170 pounds has ten years without gaining two pounds yet endures daily remarks about getting fat. He recalls entering a store to file a kick only to hear there was a mistake instead of being told he made one.
A plea for maternal responsibility in guiding daughters to medical advice. Mrs August Pfalzgraf describes her daughter Lydia E B Pinkham's Vegetable Compound relieving two years of irregular menstruation, headaches, side and leg pain. The note touts the product as unmatched for regulating monthly troubles.
A Plain Dealer quotation notes LT misheard Biffkins about church attendance. The minister asked for reasons for not going, and Biffkins remains home to write them, signaling a humorous dispute over plans.
A doctor tells a mother she may not reach forty. Miss Judson clarifies the remark as a joke about turning thirty nine, not a fatal illness. The dialogue centers on misinterpretation and humorous miscommunication.
Clara recalls a difficult rejection as Maude probes. Clara explains she did not mean the remark, but he took it seriously and demanded clarification. The brief dialogue reflects social miscommunication in small town discourse.
A brief aside captures neighborhood chatter as Mrs Ascum is described as a curious neighbor get involved in others affairs sparking local discussion in Philadelphia.
A brief Washington Star dialogue quotes a willing worker reminding that money talks, and Senator Sorghum replying gloomily that he wishes the group would select another phonograph occasion now and then.
A fragment from the Statesman quotes a joke about a man and wife named Mr. and Mrs. Crimsonbeak. The exchange suggests marital dynamics centered on earning money through dancing and the husband being compelled to perform if funds are scarce.
The text extols S. S. S. as a blood purifier and tonic for all ages, claiming restored circulation improves digestion and nerves, cleanses impurities, and rebuilds the system. It cites Urbana Ohio resident Mr. BE B. Kelly and Cape May New Jersey resident Mrs. Reary Fiegfried, plus others, asserting cures for eczema cancer of the breast and boils, and offers free medical book and advice from The Swirl Specific Co. Atlanta GA.
A dialogue from Life depicts Bronche Bill and Rough Robe arguing over a mistaken lynching. They admit the accused was not the thief of the boss, and Bronche Bill warns to be careful with imagination.
A Chicago Tribune reminiscence recalls a cook vowing revenge after being charged. She shocks the kitchen by dropping her shoes into a hot air pipe, triggering a week of mysterious disturbance before the family learns the cause.
Wederly questions Singleton about sisters seen with him. Singleton confirms three sisters, two by annexation and one by birth, a humorous exchange cited by the Chicago Daily News.
A loud drummer in the samoker proclaims his firm ships more men pushing its line of goods than any other nation. When asked what they sell he names baby carriages in a bold boast reported by the Syracuse Herald.
Exchange between a farmer and a city man from the New Orleans Times-Democrat reflects daily toil and a wish for rest. The farmer claims long hours from daylight to dark while the city man jokes about ennui and a craving for it.
A reader’s fragment from the Ohio State Journal presents a brief vignette where a kind gentleman asks a sobbing boy why he cries. The boy says his mother is scolding his little brother for something not done, fearing retaliation if the brother tells on him.
A quip from the New York Weekly recalls a cautionary tale about choosing a spouse, stating that to select a good wife one should avoid descendants of a certain famous woman, and the young man agrees to heed the counsel.
A playful exchange near the piano as Mrs Black is teased about beauty and marriage. The gentleman remarks that homely men often have the prettiest wives, reflecting a humorous social aside from Tit-Bits.
Clara Barton, delegate to the Red Cross International Convention, receives a massive gold cross mounted on red white and blue ribbon from Nathalie Queen of Servia. The cross bears the Servian coat of arms and the 1876 accession date. Barton replies with thanks praising Servia and noting her upcoming voyage to Geneva for the congresses.
A country tale, vouched by a Jobs DTlopkins University man, tells of a family monkey seen returning home on a summer day drenched in raspberry jam. The primate overturned a cooling bowl, rolled in the jam, and spent hours licking the sticky sweetness while the neighbor’s broom chased him.
A Flemish watering place famed for a Presbyterian church and a roulette table sees a faithful gambler invest all his money on a hymn number. The number hits, a village buzz, but the next Sunday the pews empty quickly as most flock to gambling while a few stay to sing. The tale ends with the village folk paying a dear price for the episode.
A regular coal company customer visits to file a complaint about slate and clinker in coal for his furnace. An office slip misread as a personal insult causes the customer to flare, though staff clarify the note referred to the coal eye coat being faulty rather than the man.
Some men attend games to see the home team lose, while others go to great lengths to obtain foolishness. The remark reflects a sharpedged view of sports spectators and their motives.
Minnie E. McAllister of Minneapolis writes that after years of back and side pain she used Peruna on a doctor’s advice. She reports rapid improvement in one week and seven weeks of faithful use, claiming full recovery and gratitude for restored health. The piece warns against cheap imitation remedies offered by druggists and urges obtaining Peruna only through Hartman Sanitarium in Columbus, Ohio.
A dialogue between a lady and her dressmaker from the Boston Herald notes the modiste refuses to reveal professional secrets while describing a costume in colonial style for a ball.
The Washington Star notes Bankins speaks softly about life while recurring hard luck tales reveal his shrewdness. He avoids overlong funny stories, avoiding the impression of loafing.
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