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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
May 05, 1900
Page
7
A jumble of local notices and cultural quips from the Eugene City Guard. It mentions Campbell as proprietor, a note on Europe’s coal famine benefiting American wine owners, and various literary and social allusions. It also recalls a New Orleans lover paying £120 for a Philadelphia telephone serenade.
A literary note recalls Dante’s line about despair at the landing place on St Helena, but the remark says the situation is not that extreme yet still admonitory about the locale.
A preacher promotes sermon telephone listening from home. Grace M Dodge mocks businesswoman faults and cream puff lunches. A 1800s pauper lunatics exhibit in Houston sparked debate. Dr Butler freed patients from degrading treatment at the almshouse.
An American traveler reports inconsistent post service in Turkey. A head postmaster charges a “periodical” eight cents for Mussulmans but a back-issue 75 cents for heretics.Outside, a clerk dismissively calls the head postmaster an ass and offers to mail the paper covertly, highlighting corrupt practices.
Porto Rico exports more coffee by volume than any native product. Gen Roy Stone notes much coffee is sold as genuine Mocha and Java. Most farmers own a coffee patch, harvest berries for family use, bake the berries, grind to powder, producing a beverage as dark as ink and as thin as broth. Postwar natives have begun American-style brewing, but many still follow traditional methods.
The piece condemns the long-running Spanish priest scam in which American targets are contacted with tales of buried treasure or legacies from a Madrid priest. It notes a U.S. branch of the swindlers and incidents where readers take the letters seriously, despite the scheme being exposed many times.
Edwant Bok in the Ladies Howe Journal argues the current open deer policy for marriage in America cannot endure and demands a direct, timely response. He rejects discussion of divorce as untimely and futile, urging decisive action instead.
An expansive feature recounts Yaqui resistance in Sonora as Mexican forces under Gen Torres clash with Yaqui bands. It details Yaqui history, leadership under Tetabiate, treaty promises, gunboat engagements, and the costly battle near Guaymas where hundreds of Mexican soldiers fall and the Yaquis retreat to the mountains, signaling a difficult conflict ahead.
A celebrated newspaper man famous for discipline preserves chaos on his desk. Though he upholds method in his employer, he only cleans his pigeonholes once yearly, on Washington’s Birthday. One year he delays until Feb 23 and explains that missing a tidy routine would set a bad example, then proceeds to write an editorial on the tariff.
A Longmans Magazine writer laments excessive adjectives clinging to nouns in modern prose and poetry. He notes overdressed readers and critics misusing words, contrasting with a French critic who avoids adjectives, letting simple terms like good or bad stand out.
The account portrays Yaqui people as clean, tall, and dignified workers in Sonora. It notes high wages locally, harsh taxes, and Mexican sovereignty viewed as intolerable. Uprising follows treaty violations by Mexicans, Tetablate slain, Yaqui resistance growing with skilled tactics and bold courage.
An anecdote from Chicago recalls Booker T Washington stopping at a hotel. William, a longtime white hotel guest, recalls meeting the famed Black educator and hears he opposes tipping. The boarder mocks the idea, while Williams reveals Washington’s stance as shared by the guest.
A collage of light humor and social quips. Cartoon captions contrast old and new world dates while a witty dialogue on misnamed places and social manners unfolds. Exchanges include mock declarations of centuries starting dates and playful misunderstandings at the opera and home.
Percy Sappy quotes Mrs Makassare inviting participation in an upcoming amateur theatricals next month. Jack Bluntley urges a hit while Sappy laments little time to study his part in this playful exchange.
Nell confides to Nell about plans to marry Harry though not yet formal. Jesse learns of the engagement rumor and notes Nell seems changed.
A quirky remark from the Old Codger notes winter’s thaw despite forecasts. The joke mentions a bananas with a tarantula on it turning up in the newspapers, attributed to Puck.
A brief field remark likens batting to letting the ball strike the leg to claim base safely. The speaker emphasizes letting oncoming hits settle, pitching strategy, and a nod to Captain Now and Sam in the exchange.
A fragment from the Detroit Free Press quotes a man claiming telepathy with his wife, joking that she will anticipate his thoughts at dinner. The phrasing hints at a humorous or satirical voice within a broader column or feature.
A six week old marriage provides comic turmoil as the wife helps her drunken husband up the stairs at 3 am. The bride questions, in a muddied exchange, what she married him for, highlighting discord in a humorous domestic moment.
A Philadelphia Bulletin item notes Mrs Brown's maiden landscape painting effort as she explains to a visitor. Mr Brown remarks on his long marriage while discussing the work. The anecdote highlights domestic humor within a quiet art moment.
A humorous exchange about a purse found by a man who declares I am the finder. The note asks no questions asked while the clerk suggests no questions answered. The fragment hints at a playful Lost and Found column moment from a Philadelphia era.
A fragmentary dialogue shows Beses-Jack claiming knowledge while Nell-Indeed! presses for truth and demands silence. Cully appears challenging, hinting at oppressive atmosphere and strained relations within a social circle.
The Chicago Tribune vignette centers on a dyspeptic guest who cannot eat much. A waiter suggests a few onion chops as a compromise, while the guest questions his appetite and the host reads the scene with resigned humor.
A fragmentary item from the Phily Press quotes a playful exchange on meter and diction. It features Mrs Ben Evlent and Harvard Hasben joking about missteps in verse and language, with a stray line about feet first. The snippet captures a light tonal aside rather than a full report.
An incident described by witnesses reveals a misnamed airhole filled with water when examined by Tomdik and others. The story notes confusion over the object’s identity and actual contents.
A man debates a clock that seems slow as it nears 11 with a woman who plans to catch the 11:30 car. She reveals the clock is twenty minutes slow, sparking his painful realization that she may not reciprocate his longing for love, in a scene reported by the Chicago Times Herald.
An exchange questions the jury verdict on a drowning death. The reply states the jury concluded the man died with water on the brain, per the Philadelphia Bulletin.
Comic quip attributed to Jones after a fall on icy sidewalk prompts his reply about overshoes. The Detroit Free Press notes the line as an example of public wit.
A compact Life magazine quotation contrasts two foreigners joining churches to fit in with Americans. The first quote implies a foreigner can simply join one church, while the second recalls belonging to many churches as a rhetorical counter. The excerpt illustrates assimilation themes in mid-century American media.
A terse quote asserts that in disputes between two women the outcome rests with death alone, reflecting a fatalistic view of the clash of wills and the stakes involved in a gendered duel of words.
A humorous note from Fllegende Blaetter presents a scene where a husband begs a brigand to return or at least provide a receipt for stolen goods to avoid his wife crying and causing trouble. The quip highlights gendered expectations and comic logic.
A Detroit Free Press snippet quotes a parent asking if the Jones boy is bright while noting he minds his father and mother’s words, reflecting concerns about obedience and childhood behavior.
A Washington Star quote features a handwriting expert debating if two letters were written by the same author. The expert notes uncertainty, saying he has studied them but has not yet been retained by either side in the case.
A tense scene erupts as a man in a mob shouts at another man, demanding to be shown the husband. A bystander asks what will be done if the man is found, and the reply jokingly suggests introducing him to his mother-in-law.
A humorous exchange about counterfeit money shows a man admitting he never gets stuck. He jokes that when he finds a bill he keeps it in his pocket and his wife appropriates it.
The Sweet Young Thing jokes that if present at the Browns’ golden wedding celebration last night war timony would change. The Savage Bachelor retorts that matrimony is real and notes the couple have endured each other for years, preventing any grand display.
The text condemns the Russian peasantry as utterly degraded and improvident, starving and ignorant with extreme superstition. It notes distrust of reform, heavy drinking, and widespread ignorance. Middle class Russia is scarce, with small shopkeepers charging high rates, manufacturers foreign, and large trade dominated by German bands.
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