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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Mar 30, 1901
Page
9
The Eugene Weekly Guard reports reflections on wealth, philanthropy, and societal power with mentions of Queen Wilhelmina, Carnegie, and industry topics. It notes dangers of investment swindles, the Zionist movement in Palestine, and a critique of money as power, alongside domestic concerns about pie and family harmony.
A wife’s complaint about poor cooking leads to a domestic clash described as a minor assault. Judge Crane, citing a Massachusetts recipe, advises reconciliation and shares the famed mince pie receipt. The piece argues pie skill should be taught, praising humble, wholesome pies across states and urging women’s clubs to prize pie making.
In London the Distributing Kitchens Limited offers a mobile luncheon service that delivers vegetarian meals to busy professionals within four miles of Victoria Street. A yellow cart arrives with a stove, electro plate service, and a selection of over 1,000 dishes. The attendant provides napery and dishes, then collects the return tray and cutlery later in the day.
A mining engineer extols Dutch Guiana’s snake diversity from harmless parrot snakes to venomous types. He recalls camp life risks, snake avoidance, and protective gear, noting many bites occur on the leg and detailing first aid with ammonia and a tourniquet. He philosophizes on fate and heraldic ambition in a concluding, unrelated flourish.
Italian orientalist Professor De Gubernatis woke to find his purse gone on a Parma train journey with 1400 francs missing. Spaniard Alfredo Garcia of Barcelona, a silk merchant, was arrested after his baggage showed theft tools and cigarettes. The cigarettes allegedly contained a narcotic substance causing no initial discomfort to regular smokers. The suspect was detained, and the professor recovered nothing.
A Irish son in a downtown New York jewelry shop asks for the best wedding ring for his bride. The clerk asks about the size and material, but the customer insists on privacy and retorts that it is none of the clerk’s business. The anecdote reflects a humorous, overheard exchange from a busy store.
The average woman treats every photograph as sacred and preserves it so long that the original subject becomes unidentifiable, leaving the commissioner of the image with little chance to claim kin or memory.
A western millionaire returning to New York with family sought a family crest and heraldic tree. After hiring a genealogy firm and visiting the New York Historical Society, he traced four generations but found nothing particularly noble. A librarian suggested checking the general quarter sessions court records for earlier ancestry clues.
A collage of vignettes features Lord Kitchener rebuking a Pretoria officer over eyewear, Sarah Bernhardt's improv Camille in a French town, Gov. John J. Bagley praised for honesty in Kalamazoo, Talleyrand and Mme de Staël quips, traveler M Devon, and St. Louis Republican editor John Knapp on press ethics and avoiding ad revenue from Bright's disease.
During dredging at the mouths of Morlay and Shoalhaven Rivers in New South Wales gold is found in alluvial mud. Workmen and authorities confirm rich gold content and the mud is processed by an automatic gold saver to recover the metal. The plan aims to offset dredging costs with recovered gold.
L. O. Howard, head of entomology, was flattered when a gentleman asked for a copy of his report for a scrapbook. Howard replied, seeking which report, and the admirer said any would do, showing casual interest in his work.
An Indianapolis Journal quotation argues that a man earns respect not from ancestral pride or lineage but from starting from nothing and becoming somebody. The remark emphasizes self-made achievement over noble birth.
A collage of humorous lines and cartoon captions from various early 20th century papers. Jokes about Polly and a tree, Mr Skyler and kisses, engagement rings, preachers and naps, rent costs in New York, regular habits, battleship rescues, and an American judge in London. Strong, dated humor with playful misunderstandings and social quips.
A collage of fragmented quips from various papers features soldiers returning home, animal banter, slang, and jokes about shopping and conductors. The text riffs through misheard phrases, musical titles, and humorous exchanges, preserving a snapshot of humorous clipped banter across publications.
A collage of short humorous lines and headlines from various papers including Philadelphia North America Detroit Journal and Puck featuring dialog about salt cures bad form listen and train robber jokes. Fragments mention Marjorie, Danka, and humorous exchanges about work meals marriage names and a theater role.
A collage of humorous clippings and quips from various papers contrasts satire and gossip. It includes banter about a horse theft verdict in Yonkers, a jibe at an amateur theater review, praise for actor Stormington, a sly horse dealer joke, a doctor patient exchange, and a memory piece about a western Massachusetts woman known for two marriages.
Fragmentary text mentions a large sponge with measurements in the Mediterranean and references to a ship and a landlady demanding advance payment. The garbled source reads as a stray ad or dialogue with unclear context and no definite event or date.
Prominent New York tobacco figure Freduetica Harrison returns from Cuba and asserts the United States will fuel a rebound. He notes war damage, but predicts expanding tobacco growth, cheaper prices, and rising transport investment will mobilize capital, improve crops, and bring favorable markets as Cuba rebuilds its industry.
Professor Arthur Thomson argues a middle view on primitive man complexion. He cites Dr A R Wallace that early humans were likely Magaloid and that migration and climate shaped the range to fair brown and black varieties. Climate, diet, and life affect pigment with red freckles appearing in those with red hair.
A Vienna researcher demonstrates peat fiber's strong, elastic fibers suitable for carpets curtains and wall coverings. In Ireland peat fabrics imitate linen warmth and are durable yet clean, with potential to diversify Ireland's textile sources and materials.
Edward Moore, a blacksmith of Ulster County New York, claimed a horse seized fifty dollars from his vest pocket and swallowed it along with a mouthful of hay after he fed the horses. The episode occurred as he checked on his stables and prepared to feed.
Fragmentary OCR text mentions laxative usage and a garbled phrase possibly "Well instructed" or "welgtd" with obscured context. No clear names, dates, places, or events identifiable from readable segments.
The readable fragments describe a brief item with unclear names and events. It mentions a person or group and a local setting, suggesting a small news update. Details are fragmentary, but the piece appears to report a minor occurrence or note without a clear outcome.
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