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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Jun 09, 1900
Page
9
A column of scattered quips and social observations from Eugene focused on vanity, fashion, health fads, and moral debates. It include jabs at advertisements, a New York fatalism, and a provocative Chicago va grant case, ending with musings on women's labor and masculine fear.
A Pennsylvania preacher lamented few marriages in his parish, blaming bashful young men for not marrying. He later faced letters urging courtship and marriage. The piece argues low wages, not avarice, hinder nuptials, notes country towns see similar rates, and mocks the flood of proposals received by a Chicago schoolteacher claiming celibacy rises because men never asked.
A satirical piece argues that vanity and loudness across genders fuel absurdities. It envisions scientists using phonoscopes and soap-bubble experiments to cure singing or talking excesses, with Sing Sing as a drastic, ironic remedy.
An account by Dean C. Worcester describes capturing a large Philippine python. The snake, about 22 feet long, was lured by rattan snares and restrained, then exposed to chloroform. After a quiet struggle, the serpent was stabbed to the heart to end the ordeal.
Washington special recounts a commotion as Iowa Senator Gear’s slouch hat is kicked away by Senator Stewart and later misplaced while Gear is headed to his committee room. A page retrieves it after Gear asks where his hat stands, the page replying he is standing out.
The Baltimore Americas notes a gageman claiming a sure cure for influenza. Robbe-He is urged to verify the discovery and check the grip on the claim.
A playful exchanges ends with a promise to refrain from further kissing as a woman refuses further advances and the suitor agrees to stop. The dialogue centers on flirtation and boundaries.
Max Pemberton’s Feo heads to book form while Toomey and Others by Robert Shackleton gathers East Side stories. Lorna Doone manuscript passed eighteen firms before acceptance and Harris Dickson’s The Black Wolf's Breed debuts. Katharine Hinkson’s The Dear Irish Girl praised by A C McClurg & Co. Constance Garnett translates Turgenef. Turgenev edition includes Garnett intro. William Rath Ridge’s As Brewer of Laws slated via Macebian Company.
Waw-nleep-eshee-ka also known as Richard C. Adame declares citizenship futile amid battle with John D. Rockefeller and Standard Oil over 300 square miles of Indian Territory oil lands. He hires Walter S. Logan and Harx E. Harby to pursue a United States Court of Claims case, doubting justice. He recalls broken white man faith since 1682 treaty and vows to relocate no more.
A brief quip from a Detroit Journal item features a physician’s poke at aging, noting the aches and hactligs of old age are common this spring, reflecting light local satire on health and season.
Two schools of vegetarians divide on what to eat. One group favors foods grown underground while the other prefers vegetables that grow above ground.
A British correspondent recounts General Cronje surrender after a ten day stand at the Modder River near Paardeburg. The account notes Maj. Gen. Prettyman leading horsemen past hospital tents and a frail procession carrying Cronje on a small pony. The piece also comments on Boer attire, governing concessions, climate, and a joking remark about laziness as a common ailment.
Dr. Sambon and Dr. Lowe of London plan a summer experiment in the Roman Campagna to live among malaria to test the disease. If they return unharmed, it would mark a dramatic insight into the world's deadliest illness.
A seated reception in a town square shows Commandant Cronje and Lord Roberts exchanging brief salutations. Cronje’s bulky figure and heavy whip hint at authority as Gen Crouse sits impassively, while Willie Mae notices and the text drifts into discussions on malaria and mosquito-proof housing with speculative governmental aid plans.
A local dispute reveals Mr Williams demanded two dollars from Mr Colwell with threats if unpaid. Colwell refused to fight, offering to pay when subscriptions come in, and described Williams knocking their hat, then following with abuse and a tin can strike. The editor notes dignity remains intact.
In a late sojourn in Honduras said I BE Givens to a Washington Post reporter it came to the conclusion that it was a paradise for a lazy man. Every thing grows luxuriantly with little labor on the part of the natives and many crops do not need replanting more than once to eight or ten years. The country offers fine inducements to enterprising men but it is hard for a white man used to civilized ways to go there and dwell among an ignorant people who are 100 years behind the times.
The text discusses Li Hang Chang and Hong Chang with a claim of vast wealth. It presents gendered opinions on women's memory for attire and men’s tolerance of their wives' temper, contrasting quick judgments with longer social conversations.
Doctors fear malarial fever will be wiped out, saving millions, but mosquitos work at night. Malaria remains the great tropical scourge causing sickness, death, and social stagnation across Africa and British India, with about five million deaths annually.
The Josledalsbroe glacier, Europe’s largest, sprawls about 350 square miles in Norway. Its ice branches creep toward valleys near corn fields, with Brigedalbroe among the most accessible arms. Distant views reveal grand slopes framed by dark peaks and birch trees, while locals note humorous quips about widows and surplus rooms atop the ice.
A humorous weekly feature presents quirky, vivid vignettes of human nature from notable writers. The piece includes playful lines about death and a parson’s quip on whisky, reflecting lighthearted social wit and moral witticisms.
A four year old asks if time stops when a clock halts, prompting reflections on time. The Philadelphia North American notes a very disastrous smash with insufficient funds to pay the receiver’s dividend. Mme Cosmetique is identified as a famed beauty expert near a plane.
The dialogue pokes fun at cookbooks with pictures and plates. A fair customer questions the need for illustrations while a bookseller disputes them. A Bran gag about a lever and a political orator elicits laughter from the gallery. Dix jokes about a betraying confidant on annual footing with the original trustee.
A humorous dialogue unfolds with a visitor remarking on the room's prettiest picture in the mirror before the hostess. The exchange shifts to commentary on money, liberal praise, and a playful mispronunciation about a ring purchase, ending with a light cultural jab about Popcorn packages.
A fragment from a Chicago News item depicts a dialogue about feeding children and the burdens of a laborer with ten mouths to feed. The excerpt contrasts parental concern with criticized provision, reflecting social strain over sustenance.
A Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph excerpt recalls a surprising scene with a mule used for hauling and a man riding it, followed by frantic dialogue aboard a sinking ship as last requests and debts loom. The passage blends humor and peril with dated nautical chatter and a comic aside about a note due.
The text blends fragmented dialogue and stray phrases from various papers, mentioning Philadelphia Press Chicago News Washington State and personal remarks about shoes and fashion. It reads like a collage of overheard clippings and stray lines without a single clear event.
A fragmentary humorous piece from New Lippincott recounts ditsy family quips about sewing errors, debts, and a rattled teacher asking what ff could mean when f stands for forte. The scene hops between a noisy household and a teacher’s classroom, preserving a period voice and local color.
In a fragmentary reminiscence Joho Muir recalls urging Mr Emerson and companions to camp in the woods for a night. They fear cold and illness, while Muir praises sequoia beauty and nature they would witness. Ultimately the house habit wins, despite the allure of adventure and cultural allure.
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