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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Jan 09, 1904
Page
3
A collage of quips and ad copy including Hood's Sarsaparilla claims for skin eruptions, a political dialogue about hiring for a government post, a "rule of three" joke about marriage, a Patience anecdote on marital help, and an auto ownership quip on starting reliability.
A collection of humorous lines collected from various sources. An old man seeks an injunction to split a marriage, a child learns table manners, a French window joke, and a patriotic remark about humbugging. The tones range from anecdotal wit to social observations with named outlets Atlanta Constitution Pick Me Up Washington Star.
A recipe passage describes Lemon Dumplings using grated bread suet moist sugar eggs lemons and a pinch of salt. The mix steams in cups for two and a half hours then served with sugar. Also recipes for Baked Almonds salted nuts browned in butter, with optional extra salt to taste.
A recipe set describes chocolate custard using two cups milk two eggs cocoa sugar vanilla and baking in a hot water bath. Also includes pepper sandwiches made by sautéing green pepper in butter then spreading between crustless bread slices with optional cream cheese topping.
A collage of kitchen recipes and farming notes. Cranberry fritters with milk and cranberry sauce, oyster stew on toast, baked apples with cream, ham on toast, dried beef brine, plus essays on sales at fairs, vermin control with yellowed whitewash, and cement barn floors with drainage furrows.
The Catholic Standard and Times reports Mr Chellusman and his sister accuse Mise Jill of hurting his brother by not replying to his many letters. Mise Jill replies she does not intend to wrong him nor to write him.
A surveying party in the Bay of Apia Samoa reports the discovery of 453 distinct fish specimens in the waters near Apia. The find highlights biodiversity in the region and may prompt further study by scientists and local authorities.
The dahlia was introduced into Europe for its bulb as a substitute for the Irish potato, which it resembles when baked.
A comic exchange shows a diner accusing the waiter of missing cheese on a Swiss sandwich while the server calmly notes holes in the bread. An ancient Egyptian papyrus from 4000 B.C. cites that calumnies should not be repeated and to guard speech to avoid ruin.
An ad-style summary explains rheumatism as originating in the blood, worsened by acids, with external treatments failing. It touts S.S.S. as the cure, claims quick blood purification, and offers free physician guidance, citing Urbana Ohio patient testimony of relief after S.S.S. treatment.
A collection of brief sermon summaries by Rev. Ray Palmer to Rev. T. D. G. Wyle and others, touching on sanctification memory home life humility and wealth. It outlines lessons on forgetting and remembering, the American home, lining up with God, unified life, prayer as soul action, temptations of wine wealth and women, love’s touch, labor unions, theft, humility, wealth through integrity, life’s two big questions, missionaries, sin and disease, trouble, and family devotion with guidance on regular prayer and scripture in the home.
Mrs Gibson mother of Charles Dana Gibson recalls her son’s baby’s birth and a young girl’s remark about needing to go home to care for her father and his wife and baby. The tale implies social commentary on men and knowledge, with a playful line about “grandma” and “papa.”
Letters praising Peruna as the universal catarrh remedy pour in from across the nation including the governor of Oregon who proudly keeps it in his home. The ad urges households to keep Peruna for coughs colds and winter ailments and to obtain Dr Hartman’s free book Winter Catarrh and the Peruna Almanac for 1904.
Sufficient reasoning and sensational claims flood the page as Hall's Catarrh Cure is touted as the sole positive remedy for catarrh a constitutional disease. The ad promises hundred dollar rewards for cures and urges internal use to affect blood and mucous surfaces. A Bohemian church in Seidlitz features a chandelier made of human bones.
A fragmentary OCR passage cites Layard noting that Assyrian records were on bricks with characters so tiny as to require a microscope. It mentions excavations yielding such instruments and references Dr. Kline’s nerve tonic and a bridal marriage remark. It also advertises Mrs Winslow’s soothing syrup for children.
An old advertisement touts Piso as a remedy for coughs colds and consumption. It urges readers to buy at druggists priced at 25 cents.
A deft pickpocket pockets a man’s watch and purse while a plainclothes officer calmly detains him, remarking that he takes people as he finds them as tensions rise in the busy thoroughfare.
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