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Newspaper
Eugene Weekly Guard
Location
Eugene, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Apr 26, 1902
Page
9
A dense column of witty aphorisms and brief observations touches on politics, society, and travel. It cites England princesses, a German-American alliance talk, Hawthorne in Rome, Obiter dicta on gentlemen and ladies, and a June papyrus ticket from ancient Egypt found by Chicago scholars. It blends humor with scattered news items and cultural commentary.
A discussion on magazine binding methods contrasts wire bound American monthlies with thread bound foreign journals. It cites the City Savings Bank of Detroit failure by vice president F Andrews and presents William J Onahan’s view that thrift and honesty are the sound path to wealth. Onahan, former Chicago Comptroller, emphasizes steady purpose over risky schemes as the sure route to financial security.
A seven year old boy visits the Girard College lodge with a telescope bag and a cigarette. The lodgekeeper Pelxoto explains that only orphans may enroll. The boy quips that to get in he would have to kill his father, revealing a dark joke about the admission rule.
A February morning at the University of Michigan features an instructor calling roll for an eight o'clock class. No response to the name Mr. Robbins prompts a quiet smile as the instructor quips that it is early for robins. The anecdote, about Moses Colt Tyler who would later teach at Cornell, shows his boyish spirits in a gray dawn.
In New York at Theater Republic during Aa You Like It performance, Barton Hill, a veteran actor, plays the banished Duke. Audience buzz centers on his portrayal and stage presence as the critic notes his strong command of the role.
A London paper notes the candy craze as the latest fashionable import from America. It laments theater parlors lacking chocolates and sugared almonds, saying no theater party can last half an hour without such confections.
In Monte Carlo a special cemetery at Satelle for gambling victims who commit suicide has over 200 graves dug. The article notes a harsh view of debtors and religious idle as it spars on themes of morality and money owed to a washerwoman.
A survey of major authors reveals Thackeray Dickens and Kipling earned substantial sums from serial rights and copyrights, while many writers in the rank and file earned far less. The piece notes high payouts for classics like The Master Christian and David Copperfield era returns, contrasts with modest lifetime earnings for Austen, and explains typical royalty ranges from 10 to 25 percent, plus serial rights.
A traveler recounts leaving Grand Island City on June 6 and passing Columbus. He notes a rope ferry charging a dollar and a half per team, with cattle swum across. The ferry operator jokes this is Californy enough for him as large companies head west leaving abandoned cattle and gear in their wake.
An old Windsor reception recounts Queen Victoria asking if actors would like refreshments, and the actors replying they would only want applause when pleased. A slight hand clapping and foot tapping followed, prompting comic remarks from James Wallack who misheard as shelling peas.
A cavalry recruit with no riding experience is ordered to stay mounted. He is hurled from his horse by a stern sergeant who mistakes a riderless moment for disobedience. Murphy answers that he did dismount, prompting a call to the guardhouse.
French students mock a cleric on a Rue de Rivoli omnibus. The priest remains silent until disembarking and bids au revoir. A student misinterprets the line and the priest reveals he is the Mazas prison chaplain, promising a future meeting.
In the north of Scotland a 20 square mile expanse of Culbin Sands resembles a miniature Sahara. From Nairn to the Findhorn a shifting desert hides former farms and a village buried in one night by a sand storm. Remnants of buildings and old domestic items surface as dunes shift and local memories recall a terrible night.
A summary of historical epochs divides humanity into six eras: from Adam to Noah, Noah to Abraham, Abraham to David, David to the Babylonian captivity, Judah’s captivity to Christ’s birth, and Christ’s birth to the end of the world.
The piece notes that water covering an acre at one inch depth weighs 101 tons and then shifts to a wry reflection on gender roles and secrecy. It contrasts practical facts with social pretensions and personal honesty.
A narrator recalls Lacroix lane once noble, now polluted by Steinhardt’s dye works. He meets Mr. Birley and hears a Bastille link through De Lacroix, tracing a family saga of fortune, decline, and local conflict amid parish life and a theatre of lectures by Mr. Freeman.
The text notes Bath’s limited time for rumination and visits to Tipmerley Hall before Whitsuntide, a major Lancashire festival when mills pause and workers enjoy a week of rest. Money saved from Christmas funds summer clothing purchases, and many take seaside jaunts or participate in large, popular Sunday school activities marking the break.
Mr. Steinhardt confronts Unwin with brusque Germanic style after a conflict involving Mr. Freeman. He asserts control of the village, warns against disrupting his work and people, and demands Unwin stay within his boundaries or leave. The scene ends with Steinardt insisting he must be master in the parish.
The New York Press recounts Dr Edward King of Lincoln visiting Bournemouth and a comic tale vouched by a canon of Ely. It includes General Booth Tucker on a ship near Port Said and a passenger misidentifying two Tuckers, prompting his sharp distinction as the Dam nation Tucker.
The Mobile Register urged Mississippi lawmakers to accept Mrs Davis' offer and purchase Beauvoir, Jefferson Davis' home. It notes the house and grounds have been neglected with only a custodian on site collecting small fees from visitors.
Englishwomen form charity sewing clubs with renewed zest following the Duchess of York’s return from a tour of the colonies. The Ophir reports an astonishing output of flannel petticoats and wraps sewn at home, with a future queen having helped during her trip alongside her ladies in waiting.
Mrs Susan Holloway of Chinnati is noted for a family pattern where three brothers and six sisters each have six fingers on each hand. She has a baby girl with a similar condition, and her mother grandmother and brother’s infant son share the same peculiarity. John Daniell of York disclosed a 34 year marriage.
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