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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Oct 20, 1899
Page
2
A collection of wry aphorisms and observations from Emmons Co Record criticizing hot topics from the Yaqui conflict to Morgan's trust. It notes St Joseph marriage licenses, Pullman inheritance taxes, Klondike gold seekers’ ruin, and a critical view of defense spending.
Our consular agent at Valencia reports Spain's wheat crop very poor with sizable imports from Russia the United States India France and others. Sugar remains a problem as demand outstrips home factory capacity despite high tariffs. In the first five months of 1899 Spain imported 2000 tons more than the same period last year. Foreign refined sugar despite the duty competes with Spanish product. Spain exported to the United States in the period but imported over 6000 tons from territory effectively United States Cuba and Puerto Rico.
A landmark contract between Pressed Steel Car and Carnegie Steel totals 150 million dollars for ten years of 1000 tons daily steel plates and highlights the boom in iron and steel. Industry growth dwarfs fifty year per capita pig iron use, while a new poet rises to fame bringing reflections on fame and faith.
A six year old girl, Alice Pedro, narrowly escaped tragedy near Sunnyside Park when a Newfoundland dog pulled her back after she tripped on the Clark Street tracks. The dog drew the motorman’s attention just as a southbound street car approached, preventing a collision and likely saving the child’s life.
The tale recalls Theodore Roosevelt chasing three thieves who stole boats from his Elkhorn ranch area and fled down the Little Missouri. Roosevelt, Happy Bill Sewall, and Bill Dow tracked 150 miles, captured the trio with an old German helper, and delivered them to Dickinson authorities after a tense stand at a frontier meeting.
Henry Ward Beecher contrasts the cynic with the religious man and argues that while cynics see only fault in others and profit in virtue, glimpses of goodness remain in the corrupt heart of humanity. He compares cynicism to frost on flowers and expresses hope that light can spring from past eruptions in the human soul.
A Louisiana resident recalls that flies avoid rooms with castor oil plant leaves placed around homes and shops, noting dead flies nearby. A South Carolina source credits Japan lilies with banishing flies, while an old pharmacist claim says Persian insect powder dispersed in a room can kill many flies and drive rest away. The advised routine is to spray insect powder into the air each night before leaving.
A survey of table manners across nations notes refined English and American dining as exemplary while detailing Russian use of natural tools, French bread disguising proper knife use, German daring knife methods, Swede chopping then forking, Italian spoon use for vegetables and sometimes fish, Japanese chopsticks, Chinese nails, Greek rapid large bites followed by quick bites, and resultant indigestion concerns.
Oklahoma farmers abandon horses for harvest chores. At the 101 ranch in the Cherokee strip, Joe Miller hired twenty neighboring tramps to operate machines, cutting costs by half. His 5,000 acre Miller wheat ranch is described as among the largest in the world.
Engineers in Milwaukee floated a bridge to a prepared foundation with precision within a quarter inch of its intended position. The operation required under two hours from start to settle on the piers.
A fragmentary dialogue shows a sharp exchange about weight and value. The speaker mocks the other as corpulent and questions being treated like a bargain counter article, highlighting a tense, clipped interaction.
An engaged pair quarrelled and delayed making up. He visits the house on business and asks to see the father. She answers at the door, prompting a playful exchange. The piece closes with a moral about fidelity being the strongest argument against infidelity.
A citizen protests arrest of newsboys for pennies bets while larger gamblers escape punishment. City official replies invoking the proverb about taking care of pennies while letting dollars take care of themselves. Indianapolis Journal remarks on perceived unequal enforcement.
In a lecture, Lord Kelvin reported that recent investigations estimate the earth has housed life for about thirty million years, reflecting scientific views on the planet’s antiquity and biological duration.
A short classroom exchange explains a fort as a place for soldiers to live and a fortress as a place for soldiers wives to live, illustrating basic definitions in simple terms.
A dispute among Parsees in India concerns whether to bury the dead or expose them as per ancient Vendidad law. Orthodox adherents defend exposure, while modern Parsees largely reject the ritual. The Vendidad also prescribes harsh dog-related rituals, including severe punishments for harm to dogs.
The article notes Ja Nansen plans a Antarctic voyage with an expedition to be organized and ready to start by 1902. It mentions 1,298 scholars connected to Sunday school sessions referenced in the piece, indicating broad, though unclear, preparatory activity.
A historical analysis explains how glass size and serving style reflect class in city bars. It compares downtown saloons to dives, detailing average drinks per gallon, customer types, and profit margins. The piece notes upper-class drinkers use fewer, larger measures, while dives push many small fills, driving higher per-gallon counts and profits.
The Lucania prepares to back from the pier as two men dash aboard during the all ashore signal. One slides along a hawser to the deck, the other follows, both eager to avoid sailing to Liverpool. Crew and passengers react with cheers as the ship pulls away.
A pearl valued at 10000 dollars is shown in a Vine Street jewelry store window. It has a long history from East Indian divers and a man earning a place in a royal line. Found in a dead diver’s mouth, the pearl passed from native tribes to Julius Pedrazolli and then to Mr. Smith who claims it unmatched in the United States. The 46 grain gem shines with brilliant hues in daylight.
A brief comic exchange features two pugilists. The first asks about a stage appearance and the second refuses, mentioning a forthcoming lecture titled What I Know About Mixed Drinks in a Puck magazine voice.
In a colorful exchange a speaker group jokes about praying for a heavy shower when their rivals lagged. The tale ends with the levity turning sour as a storm of bottles and bricks rained down, highlighting a rowdy scene and rough crowd dynamics.
The remark praises higher criticism of the Bible as noble while asserting skeptics have not discovered anything. Dr Calthrop Rey emphasizes the value of critical inquiry and questions the contribution of skepticism in biblical study.
A collage of excerpts mentions Life Plant vigor and a plant leaf on a warm wall, praising Hostetter's Stomach Bitters to aid overworked stomachs. Also references an old clockmaker satire and a private revenue stamp on a bottle, plus a light joke about smoking and a physician’s orders.
In cases of scrofula salt rheum dyspepsia nervousness catarrh rheumatism eruptions etc the circumstances may be altered by purifying and enriching the blood with Hood's Sarsaparilla It is the great remedy for all ages and both sexes Be sure to get Hood's because
Smith frets over a smoking kitchen chimney as he boards a downtown car. Jones offers a fix using a cigar, claiming it will make the chimney quit smoking. The exchange captures a lighthearted domestic mishap reported by the Chicago News.
The Professor and his wife speak of ending their railway journey on a smooth turnpike. They realize the tandem was not unloaded by the baggageman. The scene is narrated as a light exchange from the Chicago Tribune.
A Chicago News quotation contrasts a metropolis man and Farmer Hard acre over molehills and mountains. The man jokes about his son turning small issues into large ones while the farmer muses about mountains improving his chances of filling his house with summer boarders.
A Washington Star clip records a young man declaring France the home of modern art and a blunt citizen countering that while they may paint and sing artistically, they do well at lying artistically. The exchange ties to the ongoing Dreyfus case atmosphere and public attitudes.
A weary citizen seeks a way to move a forceful horse and a dealer suggests a grimly practical option. The exchange, captured in a weathered Washington tar, hints at improvisation amid hardship and scarce resources.
Humorous exchange from the Indianapolis Journal contrasts the younger spouse’s belief that a husband should know his wife’s dress cost with the older matron’s view that he should not know even that. The salvo reflects social attitudes toward marriage and consumer awareness in the period.
In Chicago a musically inclined woman asks for opinions on Wagner's works while noting that Wagner was unfamiliar to him. The remark contrasts Wagner with Pullman's Chicago in a brief, informal exchange.
A clipped item from an August 26 issue notes Piso's Cure for Consumption as the best of all houses. The short snippet cites Geo W and Lota Fabucher In as the names tied to the notice.
A Surmised suicide near a corner clinic is mentioned in the Somerville Journal with uncertain dialogue about a young doctor’s fate and surrounding circumstances. The fragment notes misfortune and questions whether care was provided.
Miss Jayenne asks Wo Washington if he enjoys golf and he replies with a witty exchange about playing versus talking. The brief cartoon caption reflects light social humor from the era.
An internal consumption advertisement claims price and use of Hall's Catarrh Care. The fragment includes quotation about a man lacking possessions and a counterpoint about a man’s thirst, attributed to the Chicago Times-Herald.
A garbled, largely nonsensical clipping quotes dialogue about steamer passages and a Dublin journey. It mixes misheard phrases with cynical witticisms about life and ambition, offering a snapshot of a broken newspaper fragment rather than a coherent story.
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