Quotations and Aphorisms in a Linton ND Advert
A column from Cwmmons Co. Record features witty maxims and social observations. Notable items reference a St. Louis gallant, W. W. Astor, and a physician’s remark on baldness as a sign of intellect.
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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Nov 24, 1899
Page
6
A column from Cwmmons Co. Record features witty maxims and social observations. Notable items reference a St. Louis gallant, W. W. Astor, and a physician’s remark on baldness as a sign of intellect.
In a recent interview Thomas A. Ea son says chemistry shows a supreme intelligence. He compares elemental combinations to a delicate machine and argues the universe is run by a grand engineer.
A call to buy the best products in food, furniture, clothing, tools, and machinery. It argues that superior goods reduce repairs waste and annoyance, noting one poor item can impair overall usefulness. The piece asserts nothing is too good for a man who can pay honestly.
A generation ago a Scandinavian emigrant boy rode into a Wisconsin town in a wooden wheeled vehicle with a box of clothing and a planed log as an axle. He carried a few dollars and determination to study, beginning the rise of Knute Nelson who would become Minnesota’s party leader and U S senator. The piece notes how few youths today start with such material advantages and asks how high they will climb.
The National Farm School at Doylestown near Philadelphia offers unsectarian practical agricultural training for city-bred youths, aiming to restore Jews to traditional farming and address centuries of persecution. The article notes the school’s goal to prepare Jewish students for American husbandry. Also mentioned are sixteen uncleared checks totaling up to 1800 dollars presented to Toledo Public Library for two years of a city election board member’s salary, seen as a brake on municipal spoliation.
A Kansas woman has crafted bonnet vapor husks as a bold fashion move. The piece notes Kansas has pursued varied innovations and now seeks to influence style trends through this unusual headwear.
The article notes that in the latter half of the calendar year Cuban receipts exceeded expenditures by about 1.5 million dollars. It also states that nearly one third of total disbursements funded sanitation projects.
The United States Treasury in Washington reports 324,717,661 dollars in gold coin and bullion idle. Observers from major powers note such wealth could astonish those unused to large money and might be poorly understood if suddenly in their hands.
The Cuban orphan fund, launched after the American commission to Cuba, aids reconcentrados children regardless of faith. Leaders include Rear Admiral Sampson and Thomas B. Adams, with Gen. Boze providing land and Miss Levy supplying seeds and guidance. A steady stream of visitors fills the Green lawn as the project continues ambitious relief efforts.
Capt. J. Clifford Entwisle then master of a New York vessel brought home a Chinese hen named Koo-Koo. The bird laid eggs whose proceeds were donated to missionary work for seven years, supporting the cause as a beloved family pet.
Captain H. H. P. Deasy, of the British War Office, after nearly two years in Central Asia, returned to England. He had passport aid to travel in Chinese Turkestan but Kashgar officials blocked his exploration, forcing him to abandon plans and retreat to Leh. He logged 5,300 miles of travel with notable surveys in the Yarkand river valley despite frostbite and severe hardship.
Cuban relief efforts highlight the ruin under Weyler's reconcentration as families, beggars, and emaciated children fill towns. Laura Gill and two assistants lead Santa Maria del Rosario work, establishing a settlement center, classrooms, and sewing programs for needy kids.
M. Bacon, treasurer, notes the pictures shown were taken on site to illustrate the fund’s practical good. Promoters aim to raise more money to extend their field of operations and broaden the reach of their charitable work.
In Green Bush near Scituate a famed well remains a tourist draw after nearly two centuries. Visitors seek the orchard of Samuel Woodward, once editor in New Haven and later in New York, whose verses about the bucket live on. The current bucket is a later gift from the Richmond Cedar Works, bearing a silver plate.
Andrew Carnegie’s plan to rid himself of millions shows as he takes from New York one of their leading scientists. Dr J L Wortman, until recently a curator, appears involved in the scheme.
The passage notes changes since the poet’s well discovery and mentions the old mill and dairy house still visible. Henry Northey now owns the thrifty farm and hosts researchers while the Carnegie Museum work shifts to Pittsburg. Dr. Wortman begins anew, unearthing Wyoming fossils in a loss to the American Museum of Natural History.
A local hen named Koo Koo inspired Mrs. Entwisle to write a story about her life and education efforts. The tale, read to distant Chinese children, was translated into Chinese and sparked a Chinese boy to paint a scene of Koo Koo meeting descendants. The artwork, almost lifelike for Chinese hens, was sent from mission headquarters in Boston to Mrs. Entwisle.
Leigh Hunt extols a fruiterer's display praising abundant summer fruits. Oranges pile deep red, apples sun-warmed, pears, grapes, peaches and berries crowd the shelves, with nuts, melons, and figs in lush abundance. The passage likens fruit to beauty and links to classical allusions.
In Sainte Foy de Taren taise Rhone France a small plateau is slowly moving as a glacial mud base is undermined by Isere floods and rain. The church bell tower leans interiors and cellars crack while the hill's equilibrium nears collapse with a final crash possible any time.
A New York Sun summary describes the tarantula hawk, a wasp feared by tarantulas in the Rio Grande region. The piece notes the tarantula's size and habits, the hawk’s lightning dives to seize the spider, and a tale of an New England professor bitten and saved by a guide's whisky. It mentions ranchers carrying whisky for protection and the hawks’ spread after a box of specimens was released.
Harlem life scene shows a father confessing disapproval of his son fighting yet feeling pride over his son whipping a larger boy for insulting him by saying he looked like his father. The son responds with indignation at the insult.
Two residents named James Farrell died on the same day in Netley England and were buried simultaneously in adjacent graves. The officiating clergyman shared the same surname Farrell, adding to the striking coincidence noted by local observers.
A quote from Tit-Bits reprises a character named Spriggins who, despite medical refusals, survives by stubbornly not paying his doctors. The exchange shows multiple doctors giving up on him over the years.
A brief dialogue excerpt from the Indianapolis Journal questions animal reasoning. The exchange contrasts a query with a cautious reply about stepping toward logical thinking.
A dialogue between Dunleigh and Sharpe notes the difficulty of grasping fully what one reads or hears. Dunleigh admits confusion while Sharpe responds with a rueful remark about lacking motivation to travel.
The article extols American merit shown in the Dewey celebration and highlights Beestetter's Stomach Bitters as a meritorious remedy for indigestion constipation dyspepsia and related stomach and liver ailments.
A professor describes his ideal day as one without a straw hat overcoat or umbrella, illustrating a preference for simple ease. The passage frames a casual, almost philosophical stance on daily life as narrated in the Chicago Tribune.
A promotional notice proclaims Hood's Sarsaparilla as the health-giver and cure for blood, stomach and liver troubles, presenting a dawn of an era of good health. The claim frames the product as the reliable remedy for widespread ailments.
The piece compares Egyptian files to a persistent invasion of American eyes and ears. It uses vivid humor to describe their unrelenting crawl on skin and through ears, mocking reluctance to brush them away and hinting at a broader political jab through a migrant analogy.
A Park Ridge, near Chicago, dog with a famed reputation hates whiskers. He howls loudly when any man with facial hair passes by, regardless of status. The canine resents whiskers being blown toward him.
The advertisement asserts deafness stems from inflammation of the mucus lining of the Eustachian Tube and promises a cure through constitutional treatment. It claims nine of ten cases are caused by catarrh and offers one hundred dollars for any deafness caused by catarrh that cannot be cured by the Naketarrh Cure, urging readers to send for circulars.
A Vienna man sent a letter to an elderly wealthy woman claiming he would release deadly microbes if she did not send a large sum to a stated address. The woman reported it to police and the man received eighteen months in prison.
A Jersey couple declines a family room after the hotel clerk assures no mosquitoes. The man says their baby is accustomed to being sung to sleep by mosquitoes at home and they refuse to walk all night, urging Maria to leave with him. Judge.
Do your feet ache and burn in tight shoes Try Allen s Foot Ease a powder that makes new shoes feel easy Cures corns bunions and swollen sweaty feet At all druggists and shoe stores 25c Sample sent Fred Allen 8 Olmsted LeRoy N Y
In a sharp editorial voice a Chicago Tribune correspondent mocks the Dreyfus affair verdict and the idea of justice. A hypothetical interview with a laundyman satirizes public reaction and media coverage.
An ad-like note promises a one day cure for a cold using Laxative Bromo Quinire tablets with a money back guarantee if it fails. It claims each tablet bears L. B. branding.
A riddle from Fliegende Blaetter notes a manager leaving for four weeks, followed by the speaker’s wife and then a holiday. The speaker is puzzled about which event to feel most joy for, combining managers, spouses, and personal time into a single humorous reflection.
A passenger aboard a steamship tells the captain he is not seasick but disgusted by the vessel’s motion, quoted by the Ohio State Journal.
The Doctor vows a method to make one stout and then calls it plesh. Public men speak without worth, yet few would accept their own public estimates. The stage prompter could be a theatrical mirror of self view. A man's fiery resolutions often burn away in smoke.
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