Goats and Goings On in Early News Humor
A miscellany of quips and opinions from Cumons Co. includes musings on truth, time, and fame, plus stray notes on Kaiser Wilhelm plotting a fast yacht and American gunners striking true when asked to shell insurgent targets in Puerto Cabello. The tone blends satirical maxims with brief world curiosity and war readiness.
Dolbear Claims Wireless Telegraphy Infringement Suit
Professor Amos E Dolbear of Tufts College declares he discovered wireless telegraphy and will take action to stop Marconi from infringing his rights His 1886 patent covers the art of wireless telegraphy and telephony He says he sent messages a mile and a half without wires while Marconi was eight years old.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Amos E. Dolbear
Tufts College
Marconi
Dolbear
United States
Railways urged to offer half fares for pupils
The New England Educational league asks electric railways to follow Springfield and Toronto in providing half fares for school children. Officials argue more children than adults fit in a car and would ride during off peak hours, with steady numbers proving advantageous. Harvard President Eliot says secondary schools should be sited for accessibility over local boundaries, noting fifteen miles by rail is easier than two miles on foot.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New England Educational League
Springfield
Toronto
Eliot
Harvard
The Farmers Weather Glass as a Weather Tool
A French savant explains a camphor barometer formed from a nitrate potash camphor and ammonia solution sealed in glass. The crystals change daily but do not reflect weather or temperature. Meteorologists dismiss its practical value, though it fascinates molecular physics students.
Kearsarge Sets Speed Trial Record On Cape Ann Run
The battleship Kearsarge completed her official speed trial on the Cape Ann course Sept 25 with an average of 16.84 knots. Outward, 17.32 knots. return, 16.37 knots against head wind. The contract required sixteen knots. Relative performance matched the Iowa despite 500 fewer horsepower and 350 tons more displacement, as Iowa finished at 17.02 knots.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kearsarge
Cape Ann
Iowa
American bid undercuts British for Glasgow power station
The Glasgow planning group chose a Pittsburgh firm for steel work on a new electric power station, the American bid beating the lowest British bid by 275000 dollars despite ocean transport costs. If this trend continues, British competitors may be forced out of the market.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Corporation of
Glasgow
Scotland
Pittsburg
Tea gardens prove profitable in United States dream
The U S Department of Agriculture reports tea can be grown for profit in cotton states after trials at Pinehurst South Carolina. One garden yields about five ounces per plant, comparable to Ceylon India, while soil moisture, rainfall and drainage bolster production. Labor costs and hand picking remain major hurdles as trials expand.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
United States
Department of Agriculture
C. A. Shepard
Pinehurst
South Carolina
Shepard
Pinehurst Gardens
Ceylon
Elwood Mead
Asia
Romance Concealed In a King Hought In an Old Curiosity Shop
A New Orleans Times Democrat report describes a visitor from New York finding an antique gold hoop ring with a veined red stone in a Royal Street curio shop. He notes the piece looks ugly yet is intrigued by its mystery as he examines it in the shop.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Orleans
Dr Shepard's soil treatment and labor system in China
The text describes Dr Shepard improving soil conditions to offset uneven rainfall, underdraining and deep plowing, and organizing a steady labor force for harvests. He builds a schoolhouse and invites local colored families to educate their children at the site, noting a lost trinket with unresolved history.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
China
Shepard
Russia Expands Naval Budget to 87 Million Rubles in 1900s
Dispatches report a naval credit of 87,660,000 rubles for the 1900s, a sizable rise from 67,000,000 last year. This aligns with a two year old plan to spend 413,000,000 over seven years as Russia plans a major navy buildup. Russian shipyards, with two French and two German yards at work, indicate broad international naval production for the czar.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Russia
France
Germany
Herring Most Eaten in Fish Consumption Trend
Herring tops the list as the most consumed fish, with more people eating herrings than any other variety. The article highlights the popularity of this oily fish in diets and markets.
Food and Insanity Says Dr Hill in Baltimore Sun
Dr C G Hill argues that insanity stems not only from mental disease but from blood impurities influenced by overfeeding and underfeeding. He notes middle class excess, lack of exercise, late hours, and stimulating diversions eroding body and mind, creating two social classes where insanity takes root.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
C. G. Hill
Baltimore Sun
Legion
Marriage in Greece Recaps Traditions and Peaceful Unions
A Good Words writer notes Greek marriage is a routine rite. Daughters’ trousseaus are started early, often funded by families with peasant to wealthy homes sharing steps to a secure dowry. Marriages tend to concord, with rare dissolutions overseen privately by archbishop, avoiding western scandal.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Greece
West
He Had Not Changed. Barber and Credit Dispute
In Memphis, Gra ham Macfarlane recalls a barber shop scene where a barber, a tensorial artist, repeats that he has told the creditor to return next week. A black hack driver demands $2 for a funeral ride, tires of the barber's repeated postponements, and the barber asserts he has not changed and will do as he says.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Memphis
Scimetar
Graham Macfarlane
Macfarlane
Jason Crow
Oscarville
Swanson Rheumatic Curb CO
Lake Street
Chicago
Ill
The Proper Sphere of Mathematics in Physics Review
A review lauds Prof Perry's Steam Engine and Oil and Gas Engines as showing a mathematician's care. It praises careful fact checking, using mathematics as servant to organize nature, not as master of imagination. It favors physics texts with minimal equations.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Perry
Weed-Destroyers Among Birds Named by Department
The Department of Agriculture announces that the best weed destroyers in the country are goldfinches grosbeaks and native sparrows. They destroy weeds by eating seeds. The English sparrow is too much of a pillager to be included among the more useful birds.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Department of Agriculture
Coining the Words A Chronicle of Slang Adoption
A New York Sun note surveys how slang terms enter English, tracing origins of cinch come-on easy mark and on the hog from Chicago and the west. It links con game to a card sharper named Connor and bogus currency to Borghese, and notes lobster as a recent contemptuous term from racecourses.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago
Connor
Con
Borghese
Great West
Southwest
New York Sun
Edifying Russian Nobles Win State Supported Boarded Schools
Russian nobility in every province may form separate boarding houses for their middle school children with full government funding and ministerial control. The plan covers board, lodging, clothing, books, and lessons, with the government paying half the annual cost. Preference goes to children of officials or long-time public servants. Nobility may fund scholarships, with government half funding. Annual 186,750 rubles will educate 415 boys in two cadet schools.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Russia
Zemstvos
Pall Mall Gazette
Vital Statistics and Dr Newsholme’s Elements
In a Science review Mr Willcox from the Census office praises vital statistics as the best avenue into statistics. The work is described as oldest developed and highly systematized. Newsholme emphasizes practical relevance over theory, focusing on vaccination utility infant mortality causes and common statistical fallacies. The review deems his arguments sound temperate and convincing.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Newsholme
Willcox
Census Office
Fixes Teeth Under Fire in Manila
Private Emmet J. Craig of the hospital corps is praised as a dentist who works under fire, a claim echoed by the Second division’s field hospital. Acting Hospital Steward Fred W. Boshan shows a gold bridge and crown installed on June 16 after San Fernando came under multi facet insurgent attack and shelling.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Manila
Emmet J. Craig
Hospital
Fred W. Boshan
San Fernando
Kansas
Modern Tantalus and Weary Willie at the circus
A brief World column notes Dusty Rhoads and Weary Willie in a weary act at the managerie. The narrator jokes about a horn kept near his mouth and the roving ropers in a dusty act.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Willie
Dusty
Roceros
Dusty Rhoads
Willy—Fink
New York World
Something Lacking
A brief line from Puck quips about She-Cholly Chatterton, noting he never stops thinking and that his actions might be house stopping.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cholly Chatterton
Puck
Thorite Passes Through 412-Inch Steel Plate Milestone
Thorite the new explosive distinguished itself by passing through a 412 inch steel plate. If its success continues, it will make a great record in the military world akin to Hostetter's Stomach Bitters in medicine. No remedy has proven equal for stomach liver or kidney ailments.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hostetter
Consolation Cup Quip About Tea Cup Comment
In dialogue, Mr. Cumso muses that if Sir Thomas Lipton fails to win the American cup a consolation exists. He explains to Mr. Cawker that the tea cup remains, a sea cannot deprive Lipton of that prize.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Thomas Lipton
Mr. Cumso
Mr. Cawker
You Can't Catch the Wind in a Net Hood's Sarsaparilla Ad
An old advertisement asserts catarrh is a constitutional disease best treated by Hood's Sarsaparilla. It claims the remedy purifies the blood, cures inflammation, and rebuilds membranes, criticizing local applications as ineffective.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Hood
Those Treacherous Long Words in the Quiz
A Washington Star quip has Mrs Cumrox fearing long words and doubting her spelling. An old friend asks about orthography while she worries she has no time to begin studying natural history.
The Microbe Defeated Fad Causes Flaming Atmosphere
A griffin asserts gullible chatter about a flame living fad while a salamander protests. The exchange, quoted from the Indianapolis Journal, hinges on a quirky notion of flames and a sham atmosphere.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Salamander
Indianapolis Journal
Cutting of His Retreat
A dilatory lover laments small income and possible cruelty as he contemplates taking her from her father. The reply notes irony about not living on the roof, reflecting Harlem Life’s wit and social mores.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Harlem
Patents issued last week to Northwestern inventors
List of patents granted to Northwestern inventors includes Leroy Buffington Minneapolis for a carbid cartridge William H Davis Minneapolis for an adding machine Henry Grey Duluth for a rolling mill Albert J Keck St Paul pencil Bruno Kippels Moorhead for a clothes drier Edward Sarver Deadwood for a locomotive Harry Shepard and D Delaria Minneapolis hose coupling for air brakes Gustaf Stark Kensington for a wagon brake Clarence Stempe St Paul for a railway cash fare diet Merwin Lothrop Johnson patent attorneys 911 012 Pioneer Press Bidg St Paul
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Northwestern
Leroy
Buffington
Minneapolis
Minn
William H. Davis
Henry Grey
Duluth
Albert J. Keck
St. Paul
Bruno Kippels
Moorhead
Edward Sarver
Deadwood
Harry Shepard
D. Delaria
Gustaf Stark
Kensington
Clarence P. Stemme
Merwin, Lothrop & Johnson
Pioneer Press Bidg
Last Laugh Is Ever the Best
A brief quip from the Chicago Post about marriage as a vehicle for revenge. The joke claims vengeance would be the wife’s motive, but notes the nuptial union lasted only two months before she realized the rival still held the upper hand.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Chicago Post
Baltimore and Ohio orders 48500 tons of 35 pound rail
The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad placed a rail order totaling 48500 tons for 1900 delivery. The split assigns 26000 tons to Car Negie, 5000 to Maryland Steel, 5000 to Cambria Steel, and 7500 to Federal Steel, at about $33 per ton, about 87 percent above prior receivership costs. Baltimore and Ohio proper receive 26000 tons, plus subsidiaries Baltimore and Ohio South Western 12500, Pittsburg and Western 4000, and Cleveland Terminal and Valley 1000.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Baltimore & Ohio Rail Road
Carnegie Company
Maryland Steel Company
Cambria Steel Company
Federal Steel Company
Baltimore & Ohio
Baltimore & Ohio South Western
Pittsburg & Western
Cleveland
Solitaires Offered At Old Figures By Local Jeweler
J Barlow Wilson and Mrs Amelia Simpkinson discuss prices as a jeweler sells solitaires at the old figures, signaling sharper advances in diamond pricing and potential bargains for buyers.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. Barlow Wilson
Amelia Simpkinson
Patting Away Pie in a Devour Market Phrase
A Chicago News humorous snippet depicts Sandy Pikes-Yesseum remarking on eating speed. The exchange features playful banter about mouths and appetite in a lighthearted domestic context.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Sandy Pikes
Chicago News
Transferring His A ections
A fragment from a comic exchange shows Blade surprised by a broken engagement with a Boston girl. Pigotte replies it was cheaper to join a library.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Blade
Tee Boston Girl
Pigotte
Puck
Suddenness eof It ate cane you believe in love at first sight
A clipped quotation from the Philadelphia North American suggests a view of love as sudden and single glance driven, noting that true love is rare and a second look would avert fall. The fragment indicates a cultural snippet on romance and belief.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Philadelphia
Strawberry crop valued from fifteen thousand to six hundred twenty six thousand pounds
A fragment notes the strawberry crop value ranging from £15,000 to £626,000 for a ten day period in a Michigan town, indicating financial figures without full context. The terse item mentions geography and time but lacks complete details or sources.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Michigan
Also Mentioned on This Page
D. R. Streeter
New York Medical Society
Kaiser Wilhelm
Puerto Cabella
Detroit
Uncle Sams Tea Farm
Russian Naval Budget
Tantalus
Tan Piso Co
Warren, Pa