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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Nov 03, 1899
Page
7
A three year old mare died of heart failure after a farmer drove her into town and a brass band suddenly played in the principal street. A veterinary surgeon attributed the death to excitement from unfamiliar band music.
A man with modest property recalls asking his wife the difference between him and a horse. He expected a line about forehandedness but she replied the difference is the length of his ears. The Indianapolis Journal anecdote ends with a humorous exchange about perception and pride.
An ad style notice touts Hall's Catarrh Cure as a constitutional remedy with a price of 750. A playful quote references a so called diplocoius witch in Wyoming and a Pittsburg museup creature, followed by a brief literary aside from The Summer Girl and Washington Star.
A humorous note from the Atlanta Constitution recalls an office boy in a debate with a delinquent. The boy quotes sixty dollars as the editor’s fee and asks if the delinquent is ready to settle the matter.
A Washington Star excerpt shows a scout asking about trust in Aguinaldo. A weary Filipino store keeper replies that if Aguinaldo sends a messenger asking for credit, there is nothing more to discuss.
Poetic quotation from the Chicago Times Herald advising to use concise speech. The verse contrasts four syllables with longer words as a path to respect.
A tired author in a quiet writing room laments his stalled craft and a trap of making bricks without straw. He dwells on failed promises and a looming deadline for a tragic Society Sun piece as his wife questions how she might help and whether ideas still exist.
A narrator discusses a wife facing a silent, chilling rift with her husband. He pursues goals while she hides a ghostly smile. She overhears his caustic words and contemplates despair and final resolve as the pressure builds toward a breaking point.
A couple debates turning a tragic heart torn tale into fiction as a writer envisions lovers with a devoted wife and a drifting marriage. The scene crescendos to a gun and a memory of Winnie as time ironically reverses itself, ending with the note that the story will not be published.
A discussion on shaping a child's moral and intellectual life through parental guidance. It argues that honest aspirations and pure motives should be instilled at home before school age, by both father and mother, to guide the child through life.
John C Hubinger of Keokuk Iowa a progressive industrialist and philanthropist leads a starch manufacturing fortune with new Red Cross Starch premium plans. He backs street railways electric plants and the Mississippi Valley Telephone Co. while managing a large family home life and active social duties.
A parish beadle in Scotland noted a strange old man who pulled a large ear trumpet from his bag and began assembling it as the sermon neared. The beadle warned him to avoid playing it in the church, threatening ejection if he did.
A Yonkers Statesman quip contrasts a farmer who earns little from apples with his son, a doctor in a town who makes more in a month. The humor hinges on the speaker noting his focus on green apples.
A dialogue fragment shows a kapitalist rejecting a son-in-law who owes debts. He insists respect hinges on payment, refusing alliance unless debts are settled, while the other party questions the logic in the exchange. The excerpt reflects class and family ties in a capitalist social context.
A Chicago News paragraph records Maud rejecting an insult from Reggy about being a gold brick. Maud clarifies she is not a merely valuable object, insisting her worth is personal and real beyond a label.
A Times-Herald piece quotes Chica deriding someone’s attire and skin tone with taunting remarks. The exchange centers on clothing, shoes, and perceived color differences, reflecting a provocative social moment in the newspaper’s pages.
In Montana's Milk River Valley along the Great Northern Railway, fine openings for homeseekers advertised. Moses Folsom of G. N. Ry. St. Paul writes urging prospects to settle and file for land. A curious historical note mentions the British government using 124000 gallons of corn whisky last year for smokeless powder.
A curious fragment from a 19th century humor page presents witty asides and gossip notes. It mentions a fashionable young woman from a finishing school and a man named Jack planning a ring as a farewell scene unfolds on a stoop.
A witty Detroit press quip notes how a daughter playing piano prompts neighbors to exercise by leaning from their windows. The joke contrasts music with public fitness zeal in a playful city scene.
A Detroit Journal opinion remarks that politics is becoming a male religion with men as deeply interested as ever, noting a shift in how politics absorbs attention and loyalty among men.
A brief humorous exchange: a teacher asks Robert what niche in a church is, and Robert quips that it is like “the Same as a niche out of church,” but you can’t scratch it well. The line reflects old humor and wordplay from Scraps.
A humorous Tid-Bits exchange shows a missionary questioning an imprisoned burglar about his motive. The burglar quips that it was spring housecleaning that lured him in, explaining the woman was cleaning and the stair carpet pet was upstairs, drawing noises that alerted the household.
Marguerite asks Penelope what troubles her as a cloud crosses Penelope’s face. Penelope replies that when a woman marries she is compelled by circumstances beyond her control to marry a mere man.
A judge and another character discuss printing a picture of Dewey's wife and the woman he wanted. They joke about continuing with a series of images of women Dewey might have loved if he had met them, highlighting rumor and mockery without specifics.
A quoted exchange from the Detroit Free Press recalls a wife lamenting her husband’s joking nickname shift from kitten to cat. The consoling reply notes that even kittens grow into cats quickly, highlighting playful domestic humor.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer cartoon caption jokes about a man whose wife is away and his ironic take on a so called gay orgy. He passes time waiting on the front steps for the letter carrier as the joke lands.
A Washington Star snippet recounts a valet fearing job loss after misaddressing a newly naturalized British young man as Mrs Astor. The error arose from pronouncing Hastor, prompting concern over social standing and etiquette at the gathering.
Ohio State Journal quotes Grubbs remarking Perkins as a self made man and Stubbie countering that his wife changes perceptions, implying a domestic influence on his character.
In a humorous courtroom moment a doctor advises a sea voyage to a worn sailor smelling of Dewey. Mrs. Benham comments on a baseball game death at the plate, and the judge ponders the odd exchange and overeating theory.
A wry saying suggests doctors struggle in summer and patients who leave owing money return healthier, implying debt relief improves health or mood. The remark highlights seasonal strain on medical work and the paradoxical comfort of debt forgiveness.
In a dialogue quoted from the Washington Star, Mrs Corntosset and her husband express sympathy for Mr Dewey while noting his discomfort if he drinks all the drinks and wears all the clothes named after him. The exchange portrays social misgivings about accountability for public figures.
List of patients or items moved to Northwesteen inventory including Vans Alu Aankinson Stamphandie N. D D Sellers and others. Mentions Minneapolis Georgetown Kelso Colato and St Paul with various goods and patent attorney Merwin Lothron Jolnron.
An illustrated note discusses a clever wheelman and his partner Henpeck guiding a female rider through dangerous acts without grasping the handlebar. The playful text hints at skillful riding and social dynamics with witty asides.
The Ballimore and Olio Rail Road has ordered thirty three cylinder compound consolidation freight locomotives from Baldwin Locomotive Works. Engines feature 15 and 25 inch bore cylinders with 50 inch stroke and 54 inch driving wheels. Wheelbase 15 feet 4 inches, total 23 feet 8 inches. Tenders carry 5000 gallons water and 8 tons coal, weigh 95 000 pounds. Boilers are extended wagon top 64 inches at the front. After delivery B&O will operate seven freight locomotives each over 175 000 pounds in weight.
A Tennessee mountains exchange studies local Populist presence with the stranger noting few people can figure on its role in the upcoming election.
An old man notes Joseph Steele’s thoughtful conduct toward his father despite the boy’s return from college. The youth asks how this is possible and the elder reflects on the considerate nature of their relationship.
The Chicago News recounts Maud’s role as a nurse in the Philippines where she reportedly checked on a patient every few minutes to ensure he rested well.
Readers are urged to read the advertisements for amusement and value. The note praises advertisers as reliable and promises they provide exactly what they advertise, inviting attention to available bargains.
A Chicago Tribune snippet captures sid Baldwin lamenting stock delays and sighing about future gains. Rambo expresses eager confidence, promising a strong teaming effort in a brisk, colorful exchange.
Advertisement notes ten cents buys Cascarety Candy Cathartic to prevent ailments. Claims doctors bills and funeral expenses saved, urging readers to seek relief from intestinal troubles with the product. Mentions druggists offer 10c and 25c sizes.
In a Chicago News quotation two speakers discuss a list labeled Well-to do citizens found during a pinch on Jimmy. They ask what the phrase means and answer that it denotes people who are financially secure or prominent.
The Philadelphia North American reports Banks is at a critical financial point with all his money gone and no ability to borrow further. The piece highlights severe cash flow issues and escalating debt.
In a letter to Dr Hartman Congressman Botkin of Winfield Kansas credits Peru na and Mulan for curing his stomach catarrh and constipation after twenty five years. He reports relief from a Washington residence and urges others to seek the free book from Dr Hartman of Columbus Ohio.
The article claims Peruna seals porous mucous membranes to stop malarial organisms from entering. It asserts prevention of chills fever and malaria and that the remedy both prevents and cures these affections by healing the system’s mucous tissues.
In a clipped exchange, De Fonte asks if Quinn is certain, and Quinn explains that when Dick lost at the races and asked for money, his father answered in four words, Keep off the pit. Ohlem ro News reports the remark.
The Suitor and Johnny trade a nickel while debating Johnny's sister and her view of Johnny. The exchange centers on whether she thinks Johnny is a chump, with a terse reply about the nickel being the best offer.
An advertising note promotes a book titled No Beginning arguing matter lacks a beginning or ending. It calls the work essential for students and thinkers and mentions a free circular offer from W. IL Maple at 164 In Salle St Chicago. It also claims Piso's Cure as the only medicine to cure consumption.
The Vitishburg Chronicle quotes a boarder remarking on Chancellor Howard discovering a fossil dinosaur in Wyoming. Another boarder counters that only a live dinosaur would merit celebration, highlighting local curiosity and humor.
A garbled cry from a captain claims bold intent to win the game. The speaker boasts self confidence, taunts the umpire, and vows victory despite uncertain odds.
Maud asks about Mr Bught’s long hair and Miss Cayenne explains he has been ionized so much he cannot feel comfortable without a mane. The Washington Star quotes the exchange as humorous commentary on his appearance.
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