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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
May 05, 1899
Page
3
A writer claims sleep aids beauty while noting reality. The piece jokes that even sleeping beauty might fare poorly, as it mentions homely policemen, offering a wry, light tone on appearance and perception.
A plan in Parliament to connect England with France by railway is discussed with engineers claiming a railway bed could be laid along the sea bed. The idea, though extraordinary, is presented alongside advertisements praising treatments like Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters for digestive ailments.
A series of reader letters to Mrs. Pinkham from Carrie M. Las and Nannie Adkins discuss menstrual pain, irregularity, and leucorrhea. They describe relief and improved health after using Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Sanative Wash. The notices urge mothers to seek proper care to protect daughters' health and beauty.
In a Washington Star item a senator quips about Emilio Aguinaldo, noting early doubts but now praising his prompt talk for money. The brief humorous exchange reflects wartime diplomacy tensions and parliamentary tone.
A teacher speaks to Mary about debts to the butcher baker coal merchant and landlord. Mary asserts they would move. A doctor advises complete rest for her husband while Mary signs off on the idea. St. Paul’s setting noted.
Northwestern inventors led a list of recent patents issued last week including Hans H. Bergsland of Red Wing Minnesota for a windmill related device, Miles A. Churchill of Valley City North Dakota for a spring plate for horses feet, Oliver Crosby of St. Paul Minnesota for a crane derrick, Frank W. Purcell of St. Paul Minnesota for a voting machine, Dante Rose of Livingston Montana for a fine cleaner for boilers, David Sincock of Clyde Park Montana for a butt adjuster, with Merwin Lothrop and Johnson as patent attorneys and an address at 10 Pioneer Press Building in St. Paul.
A playful exchange shows Bluebeard doubting Fatina about a painting. Fatina insists it is a genuine Van Dyke, provoking a moral: art can be separate from real life. The Detroit Journal notes this fable teaches a distinction between appearance and reality.
An old advertisement promises a one day cure for a cold with Laxative Bromo Quinire Tablets. It offers a refund if the remedy fails and notes the product is genuine with L. B. initials on each tablet.
A Chester Florida reader William B McClellan salutes Piso's Cure for Consumption as a godsend in a letter dated September 17 1805. A Sunday school anecdote from Tit Bits features a boy mishearing a question about greater power naming an ace as the reply.
A reader recalls a fortune teller warning of a looming danger from a dark male. The fragmentary text weaves in odd asides about hens, children, and a few aphorisms reflecting on experience and character.
In a crowded street scene a young man with a red mustache clashes with a physician over a diet prescription after describing his dyspepsia. The exchange reveals a misunderstanding as a simple medical suggestion leads to a heated, misread confrontation.
A dealer notes that even fine tobacco loses appeal temporarily and that top samplers take breaks from tobacco to stay sharp. The ripple in taste puzzles him, as a cotton-man customer and a renowned expert witness to how smell can trigger illness. Other quips touch on marriage names and common social habits.
In a rainy November train stop at Ortonville, Madge Keith, an orphan, endures isolation until Harold Deming returns to claim his love. He explains a crash and years of absence, then reveals his renewed devotion. Aunt Ellen and Uncle Ellis greet them, and two hopeful hearts unite in the quiet village.
In London a 20 year old Jewish woman Miriam Leiberman sought a declaration of nullity claiming her marriage to Solomon Szapira was obtained by fraud. Szapira left for South Africa immediately after the ceremony, witnesses believed unaware of the marriage, and the rabbi could not clarify the matter. Justice Barnes adjourned to allow a probe, with the queen's proctor to decide on final action.
London veterinary surgeon W J Arkcoll cautions families with cats to keep pets away from the house if they show signs of flu. He reports cats in west and northwest London suffering a dangerous influenza and urges caution to avoid handling afflicted animals to prevent spread, especially around children.
For months researchers have hunted historic relics along the old Gulf and Haverford roads in Montgomery County to rediscover Penns milestones. The sandstone stones bore William Penn arms with three balls and marked miles from Philadelphia. Some markers stood for travelers fifty years ago, tied to a charter gift from the Penn family.
A life insurance firm argues that death by own action is a pernicious habit that tends to shorten life a defense in a policy excluding Mobility for such habits. The court notes that habitual self-inflicted death would have that tendency.
A Philadelphia Record quote questions the idea of judging music with sharp humor. The speaker jokes about holding singers in contempt of court, implying a quick justice approach to performances. The quip reflects a light satire of performance standards.
Worth Knowing notes Lunalia day marked by a grand luau in Honolulu. It lists common English place name Newton appearing twenty-two times and adds various new post office names Hobson Va Sigsbee Ark Dewey N C Manila Ky. Catholic directory places Roman Catholic population in the United Kingdom at about five and one half million. A Philadelphia clothing dealer advertises If you favor expansion, step right in and annex the latest styles. Dr Nansen builds a handsome house and may abandon further expeditions. The British War Office orders brown loggins, not black, for regular army foot soldiers.
A Chicago Tribune joke recounts a man asking a printer to set up a matter from phonographic notes. The printer claimed to understand shorthand but mistook the word grip for a June bug picture, proving the humor of miscommunication in transcription.
A Washington Star quotation frames a debate on Philippine policy with two men discussing potential conflicts. The third patriot warns against keeping the Philippines while a square-jawed friend fears Europe and England bound obligations suggest unavoidable confrontation.
The N. K. Fairbank Company will channel all advertising through Mahin Advertising Company. John Lee Mahin leads the firm as president and J. H. Snitzler serves as secretary and treasurer. Since opening December 28, they’ve added forty-eight clients totaling about $200,000 annually, prompting a move to larger quarters on the fifth floor of the New York Life Building.
The Baltimore and Ohio Rail Road will switch from a three week payroll with currency to checks payable at 37 banks along the line. The plan, approved by General Manager Underwood and department heads, aims for a safer, more convenient system. The new arrangement takes effect May 1.
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