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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Mar 31, 1905
Page
2
A column of satirical quips and small notices from Emmons County, North Dakota. Items reference penny chemistry, art, theater, Gorky exile, emancipated womanhood, railroad mergers, royal parade spending, sterilization jokes, spring fashions, Wilson's patriotism, spring poetry filing, brainy doctors, a Japanese tobacco ban, a barnyard retreat motif, and Winthrop Maine converting a condensed milk factory into an oilcloth mill.
Mr James J. Jeffries laments that President Roosevelt might have earned fame as a professional boxer. He notes that such career choices would have been fatal mistakes and expresses regret.
A Boston woman has invented a mangee whipping machine intended for use on husbands who misbehave. It is reported that four dozen large-sized units are being reserved for Mrs Hoch.
The text notes Senator Depew paid $100 an hour to secure a view of the Inaugural parade, a privilege that allowed monopolizing a favorable position. It implies Senator Platt disliked the chosen site.
A New York paper criticises Buffalo for men wearing sack coats at dinners and dances and ponders the origin of those who adhere to the habit.
The Philadelphia Ledger notes dirty paper as an undesirable feature of currency, while suggesting persuading many to view money without flaws remains difficult. The comment frames money as inherently imperfect to a broad audience.
In a short exchange from the New York Herald the husband declares the painted subject is not his wife. The remark comes as editors note they lack space for more than a column.
The piece warns that while American Indians have endured hardships, any push to label them Amerind could provoke strong backlash, likening it to a war dance and thirst for gore when provoked.
A letter from Nice reports three cats stolen from the writer’s apartments by poor locals who allegedly stew them for food. The note laments the absence of a rescue league on the Riviera.
The literary editor of the Cumberland Times criticizes Swinburne’s czar lines as sounding like a rant of a maudlin drunk. He recalls Swinburne’s Venus description as a “Hottentot wench inflamed with rum and cantharides.”
Charles M Schwab sailed on Kron Prinz Wilhelm from New York bound for Europe. Reports say he will go to St Petersburg to negotiate Russia's warship construction.
A mass meeting of 5,000 citizens in Toronto last night passed resolutions unanimously opposing separate schools in the new provinces of Northwest Canada, signaling strong collective stance from local residents.
The Fore River Shipbuilding Company in Quincy Massachusetts signed a contract to construct four Holland type submarine torpedoes for the United States government with completion planned within eighteen months. President Roosevelt announced the appointment of Sergt George S Thompson to second lieutenant in the Philippine Scouts citing merit and heroism during the Philippine insurrection.
Six miners die and four are injured in a Pratt on explosion in Princeton Indiana. Fred Schmidt of St. Louis collapses speechless on news. Puako, a three‑masted barkentine with eighteen crew, is listed lost after sixty five days overdue at Seattle. A dynamite car explodes in Illinois near Kenner. two missing. one recovered as an unrecognizable mass. Brockton payrolls put deaths at sixty to seventy five from a factory explosion and fire. Train wreck near Tellico Junction leaves engineer and fireman roasted. Mrs. Harlan Newton and her one year old child perish in a Sioux City home fire caused by a stove. Spartan steamer runs aground at Black Island Rhode Island. crew saved. Smithfield cyclone injures two. James Benson house destroyed. Mose McElwain Jr. killed on Great Northern track near Volin. George W. Shannon dies in Colorado Springs. Bank loan record filed for $5 million by Chicago and Alton Railway. Prairie dogs greatly reduced by harsh winter in Elk Creek South Dakota. Tennessee senate proclaims James B. Frazier elected US senator. Col J S Tam dies at Des Moines aged 60. Elmer H Capen dies in Medford Massachusetts. Taft era education clause upheld in Ottawa. Brig Gen Thomas H Barber dies of heart disease in New York. US Court of Appeals defines bank preferential payments. James D Colt named receiver for Charles Berry’s firm amid missing accounts. Nebraska senate trims expenses. charity funds cut. Wheeling river flood cripples rail and industry. Winnipeg printers strike for $20 weekly minimum. Pittsburg master bricklayers settle. carpenters and plumbers block agreement.
Peter Bassett of Paris Illinois pleads guilty to assault and receives a life sentence. Henry Lundberg’s second New York jury fails to reach a verdict and is dismissed. John French identified as slayer of Policeman Claude Brice in Joplin Missouri and taken there. James Bree fatally shoots Isaac Satler in Swan Iowa amid a land dispute. Blanche Dinger suspected of setting fire and dying in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania. Rock Island wreck near Homestead Iowa linked to robbers. mail clerk Lew Webber and engineer Hotchkiss badly injured. Substation No 4 post office robbery hints at a broader system. US secret service to be deployed. J F Cordova, unfracked minister, jailed four years for wife abandonment and assault after two trials.
Reports from Madrid raise funds for Russian revolutionaries. A December eruption creates an island near Japan named Nushimi. Turkish troops kill forty Bulgarians in Ger ghela district. three Turks die. Germany hints at a possible King William Morrocco visit on March 31. Venezuela urged Castro to honor cable rights. Chinese governor Liaoyang and 32 relatives jailed as spies face martial law. Port au Prince public notice orders Syrian traders to leave by April 1. Montreal returns to Harte Azores due to passenger revolt. Mount Vesuvius eruption prompts extra guards at crater. Mrs Lan Malcolm, daughter of Lily Langtry, has a son. Bubonic plague leaves Pisagua Chile with 500 residents. 136 hospital cases. Lyric theatre collapse in Santiago de Chile injures many. anti Catholic meeting underway. Reichstag notes unrest in Cameroon. two more military companies urged.
St. Petersburg reports warn that if the Sungari river line near Chunchiatsu fails, Russian forces may pull back to Harbin and further west, potentially ceding Northern Manchuria and Amur province to Japan as the war party debates peace terms and dispatches seek supplies for a two year siege.
Admiral Dewey, recently ill but now much improved, had a lengthy discussion with President Roosevelt about naval matters. The president used the meeting to gain technical insight into several naval topics.
In Alanson Michigan yesterday two children of Mr and Mrs George Hysell aged two and four were burned to death in their bed as flames engulfed their house. Their mother, alarmed by the fire, rushed outside for help.
Burlington Train No 40 from Grand Island to Lincoln derailed at West Lincoln with thirty one or more passengers injured none fatally. The smoking car and rear coach overturned while the engine and baggage car stayed on track.
Cuxhaven March 25 Emperor William departs on a Mediter ranean voyage aboard the Hamburg steamer with the Hamburg American line supplying the vessel. He travels under escort of the cruiser Prinze Fredrich Karl.
A Buffalo jury found Alonzo J. Whiteman not guilty after verdicts, with five indictments still pending. He was remanded to stand trial in the fall on the remaining charges.
Topeka Kansas March 25 A D Eddy general counsel of Standard Oil of Indiana met Gov Hoch to argue the company seeks time to show public sentiment against it in Kansas is unjust He said Standard will not punish Kansas for adverse legislation and pointed to a 31 percent price cut in refined oil over thirteen months The governor did not promise action and will balance state interests with producers The Ouester suit against Prairie Oil and Gas remains pending and Standard plans to file an answer soon Hopkinsville Kentucky March 25 Standard Oil accepted a 100 dollar fine on fifty one indictments for selling oil without a license with other indictments stayed awaiting appeals decisions
Paris reports that Foreign Minister Delcasse and Ambassador Porter discussed the Franco Venezuelan dispute. The French government believes the emergency has been relieved by the Caracas court postponement affecting the French Cable Company case.
United States deputy marshals moved thirty nine federal prisoners from the Columbus penitentiary to Atlanta Georgia to work on the walls of the new prison. They travel in a special coach. Thirty prisoners come from Indian Territory.
In Charleroi Pennsylvania a foggy crossing at Lock No 2 ends in tragedy as ferryman William Higgins misjudges the river and his skiff is swept over a dam. Five passengers plus Higgins perish in the Monongahela floodwaters.
Twenty four Chinese men were found hidden in a box car in the Southern Pacific yards at Yuma. They were smuggled from El Paso over the Mexican border and bound for Los Angeles.
Col. Stephen D. Renfree, a 77 year old lawyer from Gayetteville Georgia, was convicted yesterday of murdering his daughter in law and sentenced to life in the penitentiary for the remainder of his life.
Sauk Rapids Minnesota March 26 Peter Schuller of Mayhew Lake lost his barn and contents by fire. Six horses one cow two calves and 150 bushels of oats consumed. Loss two thousand dollars.
Hamilton, a Black man, was electrocuted early this morning for the serious case involving Lee Culver, foreman in the Norfolk & Western railroad yards at Portsmouth, Ohio.
A Cincinnati woman reports complete cure from womb trouble after nine months and five bottles of Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. The letter extols the remedy as a uterine tonic restoring regular periods and easing pains, urging other suffering women to try it despite medical failure.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer excerpt notes an English doctor describing genius as a form of neurosis and questions whether he offered guidance on preventing spread. The item reflects a witty exchange on mental traits versus illness.
The text notes a corn record from 1905 with 157 bushels from 50 acres in Indiana and 220 bushels in Michigan, highlighting a claimed peak yield and naming Salser's Home Builder Corn as a record holder in that era.
An advertisement touts remarkable per acre yields from Salzer seeds including 120 bu beardless barley 310 bu oats 80 bu spelt macaroni wheat 1000 bu potatoes 14 tons billion dollar grass 160000 ibs teosinte 54000 ibs fodder corn with a push to send 100 by a mail order catalog from Salzer Seed Co La Crosse Wisconsin.
In a light exchange Harry compliments his wife’s sweet voice while Dick quips that she talks that way on the phone. The banter centers on her speech leaving the room to laugh at the joke.
The dialogue contrasts a doctor and a professor over living in history. The doctor sees ambition in being remembered while the professor calls that idea absurd, declaring they must be content to be embalmed in history.
Reports of Miss Gertrude L. Bull from Union Grove Illinois praise Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People as the turning point after a dangerous pneumonia. She describes a week of improvement and three months to full recovery, urging others to seek the pills through local druggists.
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