World gossip and political jests from the Emmons Co. Record
A collection of satirical items and light political notes ranging from business cards to international curiosities. Mentions Ban Johnson Schwab and Cayenne tales about Carlyle, Venezuela and the Maine senate vote on women’s suffrage. The piece ends with a jab at the sultan’s promises and the powers' reactions.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Maine
Senate
Virgin
Woman Compares Wardrobe Hurts To Tight Marriage
A remark notes a woman wearing tight shoes and corsets for twelve hours and complains that such effort mirrors the strain of a tight husband. The observation links fashion discomfort to marital constraints in a wry social aside.
Army strength reaches ten million bold, ready force
The adjutant-general reports the United States has 10,853,396 men able to bear arms, a figure that explains why most will likely never be called to serve.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Adjutant-General
United States
Macedonian mill season remains on despite no pull this year
Bal kan ring side reports the Macedonian mill will not be pulled off this year yet principals will maintain vigorous training. The decision preserves ongoing preparations and signals steady commitment from all involved to future competitions.
Breakfast table sighs and the average man
A Baltimore American quip notes the sorrowful scene at breakfast as the common man awakens and mutters a weary line about the morning routine, with a nod to the classic “next snorning” expression.
New York Man Forms Second Marriage Despite Alimony
A New York man contracts a second marriage while paying 3000 dollars yearly alimony to his first wife, showing he is not deterred by the costs of married life.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Medical expert confirms Prize Fighter Jeffries in perfect condition
A medical expert announces Jeffries is in perfect physical shape, challenging the theory that whisky harms performance. The report casts doubt on liquor’s supposed negative effects on athletes.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jeffries
Mechanical shock kills germs in water, saves fuel
The excerpt argues that mechanical shock can sterilize water quickly, comparing it to boiling and noting the convenience. It observes a high Sunday alcohol habit among New York men and jokes the numerator of the fraction is wrong.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York City
Jerome
Notable Odds and Ends in a Fractured Dispatch
A jumble of short items notes Carnegie’s rumored Venezuela gift, Ireland’s lord lieutenant, an Oxford Cambridge match furore, 800 trusts claimed by Congressman Littlefield, John Mitchell’s rising esteem, a lecture offer rebuffed, Abdul Hamid’s braced powers, and Mrs Vanderbilt's train rebuke reflecting public sentiment.
Minnesota Capitol Construction Receives House Committee Backing
The house committee approves the capitol commission’s acts after a thorough review. It praises the building as beautiful, built honestly and economically, and urges a further appropriation of 1,500,000 to finish interior work adorn grounds and acquire additional land for better access and enjoyment.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
St. Paul
Board of Capitol Commissioners
House of Representatives
Re of the Week From the Capital
Charles M. Pepper named to represent the United States in Pan American railroad interests. The treasury secretary receives a conscience contribution in a Pittsfield watch. Dredges on the Great Lakes face policy clashes over river and harbor improvements. A. W. Pontius of Minnesota serves ten years as Pekin student interpreter at $1 000 annually.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Charles M. Pepper
United States
Pan-American Railroad
Secretary of the Treasury
Pittsfield
Mass
Great Lakes
War Department
A. W. Pontius
Minnesota
Pekin
Pontius
William A. Day
Day
Champaign
Ill
Civil Service
Pension Office
Frederick Funston
Washington
Multiple Fatalities Reported in Mt Storm of Disasters
The news column lists Mrs. Georgia Stanley found unconscious and dead from asphyxiation in Denver. Ella Leyde, 22, a Pittsburg telephone operator, suffocated in a street car jam. Two shepherds, C. Huffman of Doniphan Nebraska and William Daly of Rawlins Wyoming, found dead. J Robert Herrick possibly fatally injured at Union League club. The steamer Montreal burned at Montreal dock causing at least three deaths. A Rock Island train collision injured a dozen or more without fatalities. A windstorm near Hiattville, Kansas injured Masslin family as a house was lifted half a mile. Five burned to death on Tiluker creek in Alaska near Aurora. Berneke family and Thomas Baird linked to Portland Ontario origins.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Ella Leyde
Pittsburg
Wyoming
C. Huffman
Doniphan, Neb
William Daly
Rawlins
J. Robert Herrick
Produce Exchange
New York
Union League
Montreal
Rock Island
Kansas City
Hiattville
Fort Scott
Kaw
Masslin
Aurora
Tiluker Creek
Alaska
Charles Berneke
Thomas Baird
Berneke
Portland
Baird
Ontario
Obituary summaries of several notable figures across the U S and Ireland
Michael C Murphy longtime Tamany official dies of heart disease. Rev Maurice Bonaine S J dies in New York from old age. Born Castlemartyn Ireland 1828. Samuel Day Wesley Maine dies age 67. Maj Gen William Buel Franklin dies Hartford age 80. He served in Mexican and Civil wars. Capt William A Winder dies Omaha age 80 of cancer. Rev Arthur Wilson Bloomington Ill dies from brain congestion after revival work. Ferrari Romolo Italian aristocrat’s hotel cafe waiter inherits $1 500 estate in Italy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Maurice Bonaine
S. J
New York
Castlemartyn
Ireland
William Buel Franklin
Hartford
Conn
William A. Winder
Omaha
Arthur Wilson
First Christian Church
Blomington
Ill
Ferrari Romolo
Chicago
Italy
Vatican prelate, Munich abbess in murder bid case
Pope Leo XIII voices resolve to defend the church as a Munich abbess is sentenced to six years for attempting to murder a servant. The piece notes falling theology student numbers in German seminaries and other European events.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Leo XIII
Munich
Multiple Murders and Scandals Reported Across States
A mix of violent incidents and crimes is reported: Medard Fiest killed his wife Cordelia then shot himself after accusing her of infidelity in Leominster Massachusetts. A burglar fatally wounded Mr and Mrs J C Dickerson near Cordova Alabama and looted their home. A Deshler Ohio mayor was arraigned for drunkenness. Charles T Molony of Philadelphia allegedly forged a 7000 dollar check and vanished. Nebraska probes state treasury shortfall with Joseph S Bartley convicted of embezzlement. Philadelphia faces six murders in a month. a golden haired girl found in sawdust box remains unsolved. Cecil Steeves, 16, fatally shot in Bridgeport Connecticut by 17 year old lamplighter Lavichia after a clash over threats to children.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
J. B. Smith
Deshler
Ohio
Charles T. Molony
Pennsylvania Warehousing and Safe Deposit Company
Philadelphia
Nebraska
Joseph S. Bartley
Cecil Steeves
Bridgeport
Conn
Lillie Savichi
Steeves
Lavichia
Various 1912 News Briefs From Across The Nation
A compilation of short items notes Count Bon Castellano in New York with a red necktie, Washington governor signing a gambling felony law, a 300000 bushel oats cargo from Portland for starving Finns, and Chaplain Gavitt exonerated by court martial. Oregon vacancy to be filled by June 1 special election after Tongue’s death. Kansas Supreme Court strikes liquor sale nuisance clause. Lincoln birthplace Hodgenville may be sold. cabin removed.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Count Bon Castellano
New York
Washington
Portland
C. Gavitt
Congressman Tongue
Oregon
Kansas Supreme Court
Lincoln
Hodgenville
Chicago
Remarn
Michael Glenn
Sioux
Armour
Chattanooga
Elizabeth
N.J
Chamblis
Coago
Wilson
Baltimore
Eva Cook
Kansas City
Mi & Kansas Telephone Company
Gray
St Paul Man Elected G A R Commander
Capt I N Mahan of St Paul was unanimously elected state commander of the G A R at St Paul on March 16 A8 Harrison White of Laverne was chosen senior vice commander after a close contest with Capt L W Collins of St Cloud Charles H Taylor won junior vice commander over L O Merriam Judge Collins presented Comrade Starkweather with a gold past commander's badge set with seven diamonds a ruby and a sapphire
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Capt. Mahan
Judge Collins
Starkweather
Cattle in Belle Fourche Face Water Shortage as Winter Dries Streams
Belle Fourche South Dakota reports cattle across the range will suffer thirst unless snow or rain arrives soon. Winter brought scant snow and frozen streams preventing stock from reaching moisture. Belle Fourche River shows no sign of break up, with water limited to pools. Redwater Creek has supplied Belle Fourche below town all winter.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Belle Fourche
S. D
Redwater
Memphis
Tenn
Lucas
United States
Mississippi
Nodoc
Ark
New Orleans
Frederic Incorporates as Village in Polk County
The Polk county circuit court approved Frederic Wisconsin as a village. The new village, fifteen months old with about 500 residents, becomes the fifth village incorporated in the county. A special electors meeting to vote on incorporation is set for March 28.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Frederic
Wis
Polk County
Fond du Lac Woman Arrested for Assault on Husband
Mrs. George H. Keyes was arraigned in Justice Watson's court on a charge of assault and battery against her husband. Keyes, who is a candidate for justice of the peace on the Republican ticket, reported the alleged attack and she was taken to the police station in a patrol wagon.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Fond du Lac
Justice of the Peace
Fond du Lack
Wis
George H. Keyes
Lumberman Fatally Shot in Two Harbors Saloon Brawl
John Killdee, a lumberman, died after being shot by John Roach in a saloon fight at the Commercial hotel bar in Two Harbors, Minnesota. The incident occurred March 16 as James Killdee and John Roach clashed in a bar room confrontation.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John Killdee
Two Harbors
Duluth
Minn
James Killdee
John Roach
Flood Situation Deepens Across Lower Mississippi Region
The Mississippi flood worsens with heavy rains raising gauges. Levees strengthened. notable danger near Arlington and Nodoc. Refugees and livestock flow toward safety as guards guard and warnings go out.
Government May Not Buy Friar Lands in Philippines
Negotiations to purchase the friar lands face failure due to high asking prices from religious orders and commercial corporations. Estimates show values double the private sale figures from last year. The Taft administration seeks a land purchase but will not overpay.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Philippines
Manila
Taft
Guidi
Coal Barons Not Guilty in Indiana Conspiracy Trial
Judge Chetlain instructed the jury to return a verdict of not guilty in the Indiana coal operators conspiracy trial. The court held any violation by the operators was of interstate law, not Illinois statutes, making it a federal matter and a federal jury trial.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Indiana
Chicago
Chetlain
Illinois
Sentenced to Seven Years in Reformatory
Madison Wis March 16 William Tally the young man who pleaded guilty to assaulting Officer El lestad with intent to murder was sentenced to seven years in the reformatory at Green Hay
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Madison
Wis
William Tally
Ellestad
Green Hay
Burglars Enter Denver Rio Grande Office but Fail Loot
Colorado Springs reports burglars entered the Denver and Rio Grande office at Colorado City and huffed the safe without taking money. The depot interior was wrecked in the attempted theft. Lisbon announcement states King Edward will sail for Lisbon on the royal yacht Victoria arriving March 21 as guest of King Charles for four days.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Colorado
Springs
Colo
Denver & Rio
Grange
Colorado City
Charles
Lisbon
Edward
Victoria
Rifles Seized and arrests across cities in March
Five thousand rifles ready for conveyance into the interior were seized in Hongkong traced by bloodhounds. In Des Moines Iowa Tuck and Fred Codder were arrested at Parkersburg on suspicion of complicity in a post office safe and Illinois Central depot robbery with bloodhounds tracing the men home. In Pietermaritzburg Natal the governor proclaimed a king’s pardon for all awaiting treason trials from the recent war. At Dubuque two hundred Pearl button plant workers walked out after a foreman was discharged, and in Philadelphia Catherine Danse was committed to prison after being charged with poisoning her husband a year and a half ago.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Des Moines
Iowa
Tuck
Fred Codder
Parkersburg
Illinois Central
Alf
Pietermaritzburg
South’ “Africa
Natal
Pearl
Dubuque
Town
Philadelphia
Catherine Danse
Bosomfy and Bosom Files in a Country Song Tale
A reader narrates a curious dialogue with a child who mishears a church song. The girl imagines “bosom files” as dreadful beings hidden in rocks and biting hard, and her chorus memory shifts to “Let me, too, the bosom fly.”
Longtime maritime synod figure resigns amid church politics
A respected sea church leader of over fifty years faced pressure to resign as his congregation voted the move, aiming to superannuate him. He refused yet was compelled to step down, lamenting the decision. An elder offered solace but he blamed external foes, not providence, for the turn of events.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Maritime Synod
Providence
the McCurdy
New York News
Goose at the Dinner Aims a Tale of Wit
A vicar at a Christmas dinner is seated opposite a goose and asks if he may sit near the "goose." He then clarifies to the lady host that he meant the roast goose, a light quip recounted in Pearson's Weekly.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pearson’s Weekly
Dodd's Kidney Pills Backed By Strong Testimony
A New Berlin resident Frank Newton reports dramatic health gains after two years of back pain and fatigue. He credits Dodd's Kidney Pills with improved appetite and renewed strength. A separate note mentions a parish church pulpit gifted by congregants, and a joke about a sign reading He Giveth His Beloved Sleep.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New Berlin
Ill
Frank Newton
Dodd
Newton
London
Bizarre Fragments Mention Arch Street Philadelphia Trade
The text includes random phrases about Arch Street in Philadelphia and references to Sezso-Ruyter and Brook lyn Hagle. It appears as garbled OCR with multiple nonsequitur lines and name fragments lacking coherent events.
Old Boarder Describes Butter Dish Heirloom
A playful exchange features Mrs. Hasher boasting a butter dish passed through her family for over a century while an old boarder wryly compares it to a hair loom, highlighting quirky domestic humor.
Rugs Made From Your Old Carpets
An advertisement from Reliable Rug Works Des Moines Iowa promotes turning worn carpets into rugs. Mra W E Ferrington proprietor invites customers to recycle flooring into new coverings at 840 West 11th Street.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Reliable Rug Works
W. 11Th St
Des Moines
Iowa
Mra
W. E. Ferrington
Train Says Free Copies Boost Autobiography Interest
George Francis Train favorable about his newly published autobiography selling well. He notes many people want free copies and jokes there is impression he is an accommodating Train, per the New York Times.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
George Francis Train
New York Times
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Emmons Co. Record
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Salzer Seed Co
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