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Newspaper
Emmons County Record
Location
Linton, North Dakota, United States of America
Date
Mar 03, 1899
Page
2
A collection of humorous and pointed quips attributed to Williamspor, N. Dak. Verse and prose pieces touch on ambition, politics, and social mores. The humor ranges from embassy talk to city life, with a nod to common sense and human foibles.
Mr Yerkes asserts no city matches Chicago for street car facilities and says residents resent the repeated contrast. The speaker warns that the war with Spain could force new conflicts with those displaced by Spanish tyranny if no other settlement is found.
The new British battleship Implacable will cost over 5 million dollars and be the greatest warship yet built. French fears are eased by a rapid-fire field gun delivering twenty shells per minute, each with 250 bullets, claimed to be able to break a regiment in one minute at Chalons.
The Road Inquiry plans cooperation with states to use steel for road building in places lacking gravel or rock. Experiments include a 500 foot steel track in Cleveland and a 6510 foot sample at the Omaha exposition grounds. Traction tests aim to show reduced power for moving loads on steel roads and potential long term savings.
A tobacco trust plans to invade Cuba to buy all main plantations producing premium tobacco. The strategy mirrors trust practices, though less forceful than Spanish methods, and would effectively dominate Cuban planters and the tobacco product.
The text hints that ongoing Cuban disruptions in Havana could lead the United States to use forced relocation and mass imprisonment as a coercive measure, describing a large jail to support such reconcentrado actions.
Robert G. Wells from the Nicopol-Mariopol Mining and Metallurgical Co. arrives in Pittsburg to place orders totaling $1,000,000 for mammoth mills to be erected at Mariopol on the Sea of Azof. Ju Mau Kennedy of Pittsburg is preparing the plant setup.
In a broad reflection on national issues the Hon. William D. Bynum is highlighted as a figure shaping public opinion and potentially earning lasting recognition. The passage notes his influence and the esteem of his countrymen.
William Jameson Reid recalls a southwest Yunnan region between the Mekong and Irawaddy where Mossos, descendants of Burman and Siamese aborigines, live in two clans mountain and lowland. The piece details first contact with whites, their cannily repulsive image, clothes, bodies tattooed, iron ornaments, and their diet of bats and snakes.
An expedition notes a surprise meeting with the Mosses in Kiangsi where they discover infant cradles hung in trees. The account describes the tribe’s origins legends, physical traits, social structure, and varied belief system, noting harsh living conditions and limited language.
A Belgium village hosts a mother stork and twelve chicks after nesting in a letter box, protected by the postmaster and priest. Beavers recover across northern America near New Brunswick while arctic whales and antarctic sea lions rise. Australia promotes ladybirds to aid farmers as lucky charms.
A Wakefield bishop consoles an east end costermonger after the loss of his young son. The man, in distress, asks through tears if there is a way to stuff the child like a doll, a grim moment recorded by the London Daily News.
The passage offers a sharp critique of religion and politics, arguing that true charity is lacking in civilized society. It condemns greed, hypocrisy, and the misuse of power, while urging individuals to use talents for the common good and exposing the gap between professed faith and real conduct.
Sailors vent strong dislike for parsons as passengers in a series of anecdotes from ship crews. Skippers feign illness to avoid five missionaries, and some voyages end disastrously after religious interference aboard. One captain even had a parson placed above hatches to spare the crew.
A humorous exchange in a Cleveland Leader dialog notes the limbus wedding tale where the groom leads the bride to the altar. The city editor insists the metaphor won’t fit this case, recalling a past romance and joking the bride would need sleepwalking to be led anywhere.
The article explains a method to repair a lamp with a broken filament by shaking the lamp while connected to power. The filament ends may touch, forming a spark that produces heat to weld them together, allowing the lamp to continue burning as if undamaged.
A fragment from Cleveland style prose shows a maid asking a man if she is the first girl he loved. The response shifts to playful insistence that she is “the best of the bunch” as a modern maid. The item reflects early 20th century dialogue and social mores.
A garbled dialogue fragment hints at tensions in a marriage with a claim about weakness of mind. The misread text suggests a speaker questions Mabel's husband while the rest of the lines are largely indecipherable.
Mabel recalls her father’s remark about Reginald lacking business sense. Wes notes Reginald kept a tally of every mistletoe walk and gave a dated statement yesterday, hinting that such forethought may help him advance in life.
List of patent awards to inventors from Minnesota Montana and North Dakota includes Leroy Buffington Minneapolis for apparatus generating acetylene gas George Brackett Minneapolis for a mess chest Riensi Cleveland Devils Lake for a tension device Magnus Higen St Paul for a rotary engine Andrew Fos sum Cottonwood for a cigar cutter and match safe Franklin Gordon Flora for a lifting apparatus Arthur Hawkesworth Eikhorn for metallic packing for piston rods Alfred Krank St Paul for shears Michael Schlachter Laurel for a corn harvester Elias Smith Anaconda electrolytic refining of copper Merwin Loth Johnson Patented Atte Beys 10 Pioneer Building St Paul for a patent area notice.
A clipped quotation from the Philadelphia North American hints at a crowd around a girl identified as the one who first killed Hobeen. The line suggests gossip about a young woman linked to a fatal act and a claim she never kissed him.
A Philadelphia North American exchange notes contrasting views on how different girls might respond to romantic advances. One says some girls would kiss Hobson, the other doubts every girl would seek the chance.
An odd line appears in a transit piece describing a figure deemed the manliest man on the street car. The remark hints at local humor or a cultural stereotype, with no further context.
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