Humorous Observations From Emmons Co. Record
Listings of wry quips on marriage, politics, travel, fashion and society from the Emmons County notice page. Jokes reference Croker, Aguinaldo, Mrs. Lease, Alaska, and a chair for churchgoers. light, period-voice snippets reflecting local humor and commentary.
Kindness as a Quiet Grace in Hard Times
A reflective excerpt on how sympathy and small deeds sustain people in distress. Dr. John Hall emphasizes kind looks words and acts as secondary means of grace during unseen battles.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John Hall
French deputies demand double salaries to curb temptation
A brief note quotes French deputies calling for a salary doubling to shield them from temptations. The item also mentions a burglar who vows reform if he is granted a fortune.
Whisky surplus in Scotland a lure for temperance men
The article notes Scotland holds a whisky surplus of about forty million gallons. It suggests this abundance would tempt professional temperance activists, implying they would fail to curb consumption there.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Scotland
Human Marvels and a Paris Anti Alcohol Congress
A vivid gallery of heroes is contrasted with Lord Nelson as imagined by writers. A Paris Anti Alcohol Congress reports 500 delegates and strong claims that European drunkenness drives depopulation, with Normandy noted for high female drinking and alarming child mortality.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Lord Nelson
Paris
France
Normandy
New York editor named minister to Greece amid war article surplus
A New York magazine editor is appointed minister to Greece, likely to serve a year or two given abundant war articles already in print. In Chicago a copyright case over Julius Caesar’s De Bello Gallico proceeds after a claim that Caesar failed to file with the Library of Congress, but the court upholds the copyright. Rosa Gates of Texas wins Georgia college of surgery honors for the third consecutive year, defeating twenty three male competitors.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
New York
Greece
Chicago
Julius Caesar
Julius
of Congress
Washington
Mra. Rosa Gates
Texas
Georgia ‘College of Surgery
Black monarchs exiled abroad tell enduring tales
A historical portrait surveys Dinizulu of the Amazulu, Behanzin of Dahomey, and Ranavalo of Madagascar as exiled rulers living under guards in St. Helena Martinique and Algiers. It notes their courts, fates, lineages, and lingering hopes of homeland, alongside shifting royal statuses under British French rule.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Dinizulu
Cetewayo
St. Helena
Behanzin
Dahomey
West Indies
Martinique
Ranavalo
Madagascar
Algiers
Liliuokalani
Hawaii
United States
Aguinaddo
Paris
Sokoto
Napoleon
Europe
Chaka
Natal
Africa
Lompopo
Cape of Good Hope
Dingaan
Isandula
Josephine
Mme. de Maintenon
Louis XIV
Zululand
South Africa
Fort de France
Abomey
Kingdom of
Spinach praised for health and vigor in old article
A humorous old column extols spinach as a tonic rich in iron and potassium, claims it aids digestion and complexion, and jokes about a Malagasy queen Ranavalo and a tippling aunt. It notes spinach as a digestible, iron rich food, predicting broad national health benefits if the habit grows widely.
European Noblewomen Hold Military Titles Across Regiments
European royal ladies commonly hold military ranks from colonels to admirals. Queen Victoria is colonel of the Royal Horse Guards, with her daughter the former Empress Frederick also a cavalry colonel. The German empress is a cuirassier colonel and admiral in the Russian fleet, while the Greek queen is an admiral in the Russian navy. Duchess of Connaught serves as captain of artillery under her husband who is the regiment’s colonel.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Europe
Queen Victoria
Royal Horse Guards
Hussars
Frederick
Germany
Greece
Duchess of Connaught
Stone Telegraph Poles Over Alpine Route
Reports describe a telegraph line through the Simplon Pass carried by gray granite stone poles. The message path runs from Milano to Switzerland via the Alps, a rugged corridor marked by long distances and rugged terrain through the pass.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Milano
Switzerland
Simplon Pass
Fyenty
Waight’s Eotimeted Sandwich Islanders Beauty Route
Fragmentary note describes Waight and the Sandwich Islanders with a focus on beauty of women and a route named mete. No clear publication context or full details available.
Must Cease to Bow at Rideau Street Convent Edict
Ottawa convent imposes rule that young ladies in attendance may not recognize friends during daily promenade. Sister superior orders silence and quiet strolling along residential streets, avoiding business thoroughfares. The measure meets resistance from students and maids alike.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Rideau Street
Ottawa
Black aca estimate shocks human population
Experts estimate the lack of a key ailment affects about one tenth of humanity, roughly 150 million individuals, a figure cited to illustrate its global reach and impact.
Inficient Liquid Claim Sparks Health Debate
A fragment states that three pints of liquid daily suffice for the average adult, prompting discussion on hydration needs. It notes insufficient guidance and invites expert input to confirm safe intake levels and potential health implications.
Women Who Earn Their Living
Women who earn their living endure long hours on their feet and endure pain while keeping a smile for customers. The ad touts Lydia E. Pinkham's Blood Purifier and Vegetable Compound as effective, citing letters from Miss Nancie LuHosr and Miss Potty Frame praising relief from womb troubles, irregular periods, and ovarian pain.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Miss Potty Frame
Meade
Kan
Mrs. Pinkham
Pullman to Resume Standard Sleeping Cars April 10
The Pullman Company ends the ordinary sleeping car service on the Baltimore and Ohio routes between Baltimore and Newark and Pittsburg and Chicago. Due to constraints in supplying the new class of equipment east of Chicago and St Louis, the company asks the B&O Railroad to revert to standard cars starting April 10.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pullman Company
Baltimore and Ohio
Baltimore
Newark
Pittsburg
Chicago
St. Louis
Baltimore and Ohio Rail Road
Green onions spark playful quarrel in Chicago News brief
In a light-hearted Chicago News item Mrs. Younglove chastises George for kissing her only once in three hours. He retorts that another helping of green onions would stretch that time to three hours and a half. The exchange ends with her trembling and questioning their romance.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
George
His Speech Impaired First Deaf Mute on His Fingers
Ohio State Journal notes the challenge of speech for a deaf mute subject, mentioning Walker and a noke in a concise historical remark. The fragment suggests impairment and social commentary on speech and hearing within the period.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Walker
Alltoy
Ohio State Journal
Patents Issued Last Week to Northwestern Inventors
A report lists patent grants to Northwestern inventors including George Bruhn Winona automatic wagon brake James J Gustaf Lowville device for finding dead centers Nels Hockerson Jr Marine Mills pole and neck yoke coupling William H Loomis Saint Peter sliding door lock James H Robinson Minneapolis life saving guard for street cars Attorneys Merwin Lothrop Johnson Patent Attorneys Pioneer Press Building St Paul Minnesota
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
George Bruhn
Winona
Minn
James J. Gustaf
Lowville
Nels Hockerson, Jr
Marine Mills
William H. Loomis
St. Peter
James H. Robinson
Minneapolis
Merwin, Lothrop Jhnson
Pioneer Press Bldg
St. Paul
Her Husband Twice Her Age in Newcastle Marriage
A Newcastle tale reports Makings marrying three times, each husband twice her age. She wed at 16 to a 32 year old Quaker, then at 30 to a 60 year old Catholic, and now at 42 to an 84 year old Protestant.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Newcastle
Eng
Makings
Allen's Foot-Ease advertisement cures tight shoes
Do Your Feet Ache and Barnt Shake into your shoes Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet. It makes tight or New Shoes feel Easy. Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and Sweating Feet. At all Druggists and Shoe Stores, 26c. Sample sent FREE, Address Allen 8. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Allen
Olmsted
LeRoy, N. Y
Biffies Described As Pleasant Yet Egotistic
A pair of young men debate Biffies noting one finds him pleasant while the other calls him egotistic. They discuss impressions, judgments, and misread manners leading to mutual resentment. The Washington Star quote conveys the clash of perception and self-opinion in social wit.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Biffies
Washington Star
Exchange Notice for 100 Acre Virgin Land in Colorado
Brief real estate ad from Arapeno Co brokers Denver Colorado seeking exchange. Describes 100 acres of virgin or clear land suitable for practical use in Colorado.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Arapenoe
Denver
Colo
Sympathetic Visitor Questioning Prisoner in Punchline Exchange
A short exchange features a sympathetic visitor asking what brought a prisoner to his cell and a facetious reply about borrowing money. The prisoner quips that people are not imprisoned for borrowing unless he had to knock the lender down multiple times to obtain the loan.
He May Marry A Widow Says Ohio Talk
Mrs Bilkins doubts Tom will marry due to bashfulness, while her husband suggests a potential future meeting with a young widow as a possibility for marriage in a brief Ohio State Journal dialogue.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
John
The Worst of It: Empty Home and Empty Pockets
An orator warns of drink's harm, crying out to see its effects. He laments empty home and pockets, then adds an empty bottle as the worst symbol of sobriety’s ruin. Cincinnati Enquirer.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Cincinnati Enquirer
Encouragement and Constancy in Pursuit of Success
A condensed encouragement urging constancy of purpose as the key to success. The message implies persistence leads to achievement and emphasizes steady effort over time.
The Great Amen Question at Moriah Carnarvon
Members of the Moriah Carnarvon church settled a dispute over singing the Amen at the end of hymns. After adopting a new hymn book a practice to sing Amen faced opposition. On Tuesday evening a church vote decided against the Amen by 86 to 46 with a large audience present.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Moriah
Carnarvon
Wales
Reading Advertisements Offers Amusing Study and Bargains
You will enjoy this publication much better if you will get into the habit of reading the advertisements. They will afford an amusing study and put you in the way of getting excellent bargains. Our advertisers are reliable. they send what they advertise.
Definition of Colonel Explains Regal Manners and Appetite
A playful exchange frames the meaning of colonel as a large, courtly man with crown prince manners and a surprisingly ordinary appetite, using a humorous comparison to a camel. The dialogue showcases linguistic whimsy.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Elmer
Broadhead
Tested Friendship in a Wet Day Exchange
Jackson shows loyalty by lending an umbrella to Boston Traveler. Heaven bless him for backing me when clouds darkened, a simple gesture reflecting trust and mutual aid.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Jackson
Wilson
Boston
A Vacation Earned Mr Bronxborough Seaside Debate
A humorous dialogue from the New York Evening Journal features Mr Bronxborough suggesting a seaside vacation this summer while Mrs Bronxborough resists, noting the girls are married and preferring to stay home and rest.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bronxborough
New York Evening Journal
Brotherly rebuke at clerical tea gathering
A nervous curate earns sharp rebuke from a senior colleague after a parade of awkward compliments at an afternoon tea in the bishop's palace. The senior calls him a donkey and questions his habit of making asinine remarks, provoking laughter among the clerics.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Bishop's Palace
Bruce
Excellent Combination Syrup or Fias Promises Gentle Relief
An advertisement extols the California Fig Syrup Co remedy as a pleasant tasting liquid laxative. It claims to ease constipation by using senna and other plant ingredients, offering fever and toxin relief while avoiding imitations. The copy emphasizes a mild, effective action to restore bowel regularity and overall health.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
California Fie Syrup Co
Sania Esters Peo California Fig Syrup Co
Francisco, Cal
Eal Basin SE
Also Mentioned on This Page
Emmons Co. Record
D. R. Streeter
Croker
Alaska
Aguinaldo
Lease
Philadelphia
Ohio
Ponaparte
Prince Imperial
Reunion
Hayalo
Madagarcar
Nal Properties
Rotary
Marseilles
Tananarivo
M. Laroche
Réunion
Dinizulu,the
Black Napoleon
Northwestern